Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

wisdom of getting pregnant when both husband and wife are unemployed

  1. #9
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    HK
    Posts
    1,623
    My dad has this thing he always says: "If you're waiting until you have 'enough money' to have a child, you will never have children."

    You don't seem to be panicky that you and your husband are both unemployed presently. You said he has been unemployed for 1.5 years. Did you just recently become unemployed?

    I think that before you decide to go ahead and have another baby it might be a good idea to sit down and make a list of pros and cons or even a list of resources. Although you may be unemployed you may have other resources you can draw upon or even family members who would come to your aid should your really be in need of finances. I would write all of these things down on paper and talk honestly with your husband about it. Also, if he is truly resistant to the idea, I think it's smart to take that into account because, just as another member here commented, pregnancy and childbirth coupled with financial stress can mean the ruin of many marriages.

    Having said that, you do have a valid concern considering your age. Some women can get pregnant and have children into their 40s with little problem but that's not a guarantee for everyone. From my point of view, there is no law that says you have to have a ton of money in the bank to have a kid and many people the world over prove that theory true every day.

    But, another consideration is that in Hong Kong, if you're pregnant and seeking employment you're going to have a very difficult time finding it. There is a lot of indirect discrimination against women who are pregnant in this city. Yes, there are laws to protect pregnant women but they generally don't really apply to women who are not already employed. Just something to think about.

    In the end, I think you'll choose the route with least regrets.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  2. #10
    matemate is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    170
    Quote Originally Posted by mummymoo View Post
    Financial stress is one of the major reasons why a marriage implodes, another source of stress is the arrival of new babies as they take so much out of you (although to be fair they give much more back in return but it is exhausting).
    just to add to mummymoo's point from a male perspective:
    in general, the reason financial stress is not good for a marriage is not because of the wife, but rather the hubby who feels stressed. if your wife falls pregnant, the husband will get his own dose of hormones that tell him to go and earn money (i.e. provide) for the family. if he is unemployed and can't do so, you are getting him into a very unsatisfactory situation that can cause all kind of issues - except of course he can work this through with himself (just to have said it, any rationale advice by the wife usually does not help in such a situation...)

  3. #11
    lisa88 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    203
    Although money is an important consideration in having a baby, to me it would not be the MAIN consideration. You can always be resourceful and prioritize with cost savings. HK is an expensive city but by the same token there are lots of people selling good quality items second hand, and factory outlets with good finds. Raising a baby is an emotional issue as well. I agree with Nicolejoy that you are more likely to regret NOT having a baby, instead of regret having one that you can't afford. I don't think any baby is unhappy that it is lacking in material comforts - it is only peer pressure that is learned later on.

  4. #12
    bagel is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Siu Lam, NT
    Posts
    96
    Thank you all for the thoughtful comments. I concur with many views here that financial consideration is not the only consideration. Advanced maternal age is, for all the risks it carries.

    If anyone has information on public hospital costs for pregnancy check ups, delivery etc, would appreciate it, especially the Prince of Wales hospital. Thank you, once again.

  5. #13
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    all public hospital charges are the same no matter which hospital you go to. other than that, what kind of information are you looking for?

  6. #14
    bagel is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Siu Lam, NT
    Posts
    96
    I am interested to know the usual cost of the antenatal tests, the doctors' consultation fees, ultra sounds, blood work, other tests for Down syndrome etc, delivery costs and then hospital fees for the stay (preferably a private room if that option exists). Thank you.

  7. #15
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    North Point
    Posts
    1,751
    If you go completely public in a ward room, the cost of EVERYTHING including antenatal tests, doctors fees, ultrasounds and blood work would be less than $500. If you get a private room, the price is MUCH MUCH higher than that though as you will need to pay for EVERYTHING yourself. You'd be looking at more like $60,000+ for a private room.

    I know that Pamela Youde has a "semi-private" option (four bed room with private bathroom for those four people) which is about $7,000 or so - but this is the only public hospital that I know of with this option. Queen Mary definitely does not have that option, I'm not sure about any on Kowloon side.

  8. #16
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    bagel, to be honest, it really doesn't sound to me like money is an issue for you, even though you have both been unemployed. you already have a helper and now you are considering a private room in a hospital. that being the case, i don't know why you would wait. it doesn't sound like you are living day-to-day, hand-to-mouth right now, and if that's the case then there are places you'll be able to cut expenses further in order to have your next child.

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Anyone employed husband & wife helpers before?
    By mel_g20 in forum Helper Forums
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-04-2008, 10:43 AM
  2. wisdom tooth removal during pregnancy
    By wittlewabbit in forum Hong Kong Pregnancy Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-08-2007, 11:18 AM
  3. wisdom tooth removal during pregnancy
    By wittlewabbit in forum Preconception
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-07-2007, 12:40 PM
  4. Pregnant Wife down with flu
    By clock21 in forum Family Health
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-08-2005, 10:17 PM
  5. Words of wisdom.
    By shri in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-12-2003, 12:01 PM
Scroll to top