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Dilemma - career or baby? !! need help please

  1. #9
    Dianeb is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Hong Kong

    thanks so much everyone for sharing your views...I guess most of you are right, i need to understand what my limits are...unfortunately i have to say I dont have a very supportive husband....he runs his own business but he has to travel quite a bit and perhaps because my baby is still young (and therefore doesnt have too much interaction at this stage), he hasnt really spent as much time with the baby as I would like him to do so with the baby..(my husband is the type that would not even help to change nappy for the baby ..he would just get the maid to do it).....but then I know women are often more anxious when it comes to be baby caring......

    During Xmas, I was invited to attend a gathering which was organised by a playgroup organiser..........I must say I was stressed out by the ways many mums, esp SAHMs treat their babies/kids these days...they made their babies who are just 8 months to start attending playgroup because apparently schooling is very competitive in HK and the younger you start to "train" your babies, the more chances they will get into the better schools..........they claim their babies can read a lot of English words even just at 1 year old?!?!...........and the mums seem to be very proud of how much their babies can do at such a young age.....I must say I am very stressed by all these ...I feel I cant offer the same to my baby if I attend a full time demanding job because I would have no time to take my kids to playgroup during weekdays except for do you all cope with this rather crazy phenomenon?

  2. #10
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    North Point

    I think that HK really is "crazy" for doing all the flash cards and wanting their kids to read so young. I think in some ways, it robs them of their youth - and it's not unlike teaching a dog to jump through a hoop. I don't think it really benefits the kids that much to be able to read so young. I'm not completely against young readers IF the child is very interested in words and books and picks it up themselves (with or without a bit of help in a non-classroom setting) - but don't feel pressured that just because some people are doing that then you need to as well. There are pros and cons - but it is not a necessity! Just enjoy your child :) Particularly if you're working and are just with him/her for such a short amount of time every day. You might not want to "waste" that time on flash cards every day...

  3. #11
    TheQuasimother is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Hong Kong

    I'm with Nic on this. Hong Kong mums are very competitive. There is a lot of showpony-ing going around. Don't stress about it. Children develop at different paces and in many different ways. That is the best thing a mum can try to remember.

    However, as a working mum, i must say that I got very anxious with my first one and with both of us at work (regular hours at that time), at 1, we sent him to Baby Buddies three times a week for two hours per session. That was really great for all of us. We sent him there as I could watch him online (real time). This made me feel a lot better. And because I'm not at home to sit around and play/chat to him during the day, it's better than plonking him in front of the TV. By 2, he went to half day nursery 5 days a week. Apart from that, we haven't done anything much and now at K2, we were told by his teacher that he is intelligent, so much so that he hasn't the maturity to deal with it. He's 4 so I'm not fussed. The teacher was also surprised that he knew his phonics, rhymes, some sight words etc well and asked if we sent him to classes and we don't but we do encourage him to find his own way of learning and support it at home with lots of reading which we did from when he was a bub. And, to think that he couldn't speak well til he was 3! To us, he is no better nor worse than his peers in his class. He also does no more or less than his peers (with similar backgrounds) - At K2, they go to school for half a day, play a sport or two, does Art and/or Music e.g. Kindermusik. And, when we 'compare' him to the local kids in his class who go for gazillion classes (many in an afternoon kinder too!), language wise he is definitely better and everything else, the kids are pretty much the same.

    Anyway, my rambling is just to tell you - Don't fret! It will be fine. I don't think classes in HK are generally worth the money. There are a few that I'd scream and shout about as it's been wonderful for our child. But there are some that I'd just say what a load of crock and waste of money.

    Hang in there. Get your child in for classes if it makes you feel better but otherwise, don't worry too much about mothers who like to turn their children into showponies.

    “If you want to get to the castle, you’ve got to swim the moat.” Richard Jenkins in Eat Pray Love

  4. #12
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    South District

    would agree with the above posts. i have my 28mth old in gym class 1X a week and school 2X a week...the rest of the days, she's home with me and her younger sis. There are plenty of educational opportunities at home. Of course if you are working and there is a class that your LO would enjoy doing, then of course I'd enroll - but you should never feel presssurized to do so. My nephew takes 3 classes every Saturday - parents claim he enjoys it, but still he's only 4! He doesn't even have time to go to play! Kids are constantly learning from their long as they have an interest in what is happening around them and are stimulated enough wherever they are, they will turn out to be just fine. Everyone learns differently, I'm still waiting for my 28mth old to talk! But I know she understands because she responds correctly....learning is a journey and they must enjoy the journey to do well. don't fret! :)

  5. #13
    Gataloca's Avatar
    Gataloca is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010

    Totally agree. I think they are taking their kids childhood away. Children are meant to play and learn. I think everything should be done at the right time. What is the point of teaching a 1 year old baby to read? I have many happy memories of my childhood, mostly playing with my brothers and sister. Then I look at the HK kids, and what will they have to be cherish when they get old? English on Monday, swimming on Tuesday, art on Wednesday, piano on Thursday, math on Friday, dance on Saturday and family day on Sunday???
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