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Helper/ mom schedule with toddler and small baby

  1. #1
    Biggie is offline Registered User
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    Helper/ mom schedule with toddler and small baby

    We have a new born and a toddler at home. At the moment, there are four care takers at home- me, live in helper, a confinement lady and my mom who come during the day. As it is, everything just barely gets done. I have to breastfeed baby every few hours for about an hour each feed and try to nap a bit and spend time with older son. Continent lady cooks my meals and help watch baby. My mom mainly play with my toddler. Helper watch toddler before my mom comes, and has to do laundry, cleaning, cooking and feeding toddler, walking the dog, food shopping.
    When confinement lady is gone and my mom won't come as often, how do my helper and I do everything?
    Interested to hear how others in similar situation schedule their day and helpers day. I find it hard to do any "work" while watching/playing with the toddler. And it's hard for helper to do grocery with him as she needs to take a bus back since the grocery is too heavy for a 15min walk.
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  2. #2
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    We do most of our grocery shopping online, only going there for fresh fruit/vegetables/meat/other things that we run out of and need before we do another online shop. It really makes the shopping a much smaller job.

    Your toddler should be able to play independently for at least short periods of time. I "play with" my toddler by talking with her while I'm feeding the baby - or I will even get her to bring me stuff, sing songs with her, etc. I can't jump and get down on the floor and colour pictures etc with her, but I can still interact with her while I'm also looking after the baby. My helper actually hardly does any of the childcare for my two kids, her job is ONLY the house stuff (and occasional childcare tasks).

    We have just me and my helper along with my 26 month old and 5 month old and we both have long periods of time where we can have some "downtime". I get on the computer, my helper will go to her room and chat on the phone or something.

    I know it's a lot for one person to manage alone - but it's doable. With two, it should be fine - at least once your newborn is a month or two old and should sleep and eat better.

  3. #3
    Biggie is offline Registered User
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    I do hope it will get easier as baby is older and big brother gotten used to having the baby around. Now , if I nurse baby while brother is around, he either whines for milk too or start bringing loads of toys to me and sits on my lap to get attention. It helps when someone else is there to play with him.
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  4. #4
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    i have a 28mth old and a 6mth old...i find it does get easier as #2 is more playful now, so they can play together in a sense.

    grocery shopping only happens on weekends for us when my hubby is around full time to take care of baby. if there are any small items, then either I or my helper will go to the supermarket during the babies nap time. we do get quite a lot of down time now since they enjoy each others company. my helper is watching them now as I am on the computer and i have managed to schedule their nap times more or less at the same time, so lunch time then nap, we get a good 3 hour break in a sense.

    they share a room - both waking up around 7-7:30...
    have breakfast at 8am then play with me for a couple hours (helper cleans)
    then i get 1 hour down time (helper takes over, I prepare lunch)
    12 lunch (2nd bottle) and then TV time for 30mins
    1 1/2-2hour nap time
    3pm onwards either playgroup or we go out (sometimes to grocery shopping with the older one - if i buy in bulk it is all home delivered)
    5pm home - settle down
    6pm bath time (both kids)
    7pm dinner time
    8:30pm bed time

    this schedule works for our family. my younger one is at home a lot with the helper if i have to take the older one out. on the whole though, i'd say my older one does not have a lot of activities per say like some other families, so it is easier, because they are just playing at home with one another. it will get easier once the older decides the baby is "fun". it will happen! :)

  5. #5
    carey is offline Registered User
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    This is a very interesting thread as I still don't know how things might work when my second is here. My first will be 23 month when our new born arrives. I am sure I will be Bfing a lot at the begining like Biggie does.

    We will have help but I am really concern how my older might react to the new order in the house in the first few weeks and months and if he would wake the little one when he plays at home.

    It's very helpful to see what other mums are saying.

  6. #6
    Biggie is offline Registered User
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    I guess when the baby nurse less frequently or when I started to give him some bottles, it will be easier. The hardest thing now is what to do with older son when I'm nursing, especially if it's mealtime or bath or bed time for older son. Someone else need to be there for the older son.
    My baby can sleep when older one is laughing and screaming so that's not a problem. I use a Moses basket so I can take baby to whatever room older son is playing in.
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  7. #7
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    I have a 3 year old sand a 3 month yr old. When my confinement lady left, my helper and I had to sit down and discuss how we would structure our day. During the first few weeks, my toddler only allowed myself or our confinement lady hold our newborn. He got very upset when my husband or helper held him. We took it slowly, had baby buyt our older son toys to play with etc...It was definitely a transition time for all of us and it took my older son a couple of weeks to get used to his new younger brother.

    My toddler goes to school 3 mornings a week so that is when my helper does the house work and I spend time with my newborn - walks, playing etc.... When older one is home, she focuses on either my toddler or my baby when I want to spend quality time with just him and I. I don't expect my helper to take care of the house, me and both of my sons. She cannot possible do it so you have to adjust things. I also take walks in the morning around our condo with both kids so she can have time to vaccuum or wash the floors with disruptions. When I need her to run to the market, she takes my older son too.

    Like others have said above, I too try and get my toddler involved with the baby as much as possible. We put his baby gym out in the living room so I can spend time with both kids and when I am nursing or giving him a bottle of EBM, my son likes to hold it. My toddler likes to help change his diaper too.

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