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Confinement Lady who speak "English" Recommendation Needed

  1. #9
    Gracey is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Hong Kong

    I'm a Cantonese-speaking Chinese woman and I have no intention of getting a confinement lady.
    Getting extra help during the first few months? Staying home quietly instead of running around outside? Eating nourishing foods and having one-on-one time with baby? Yes, yes, yes.
    But you can get that with a normal amah, and maybe the additional help of a midwife.

    A confinement lady is much more than that -- she is like a constantly nagging aunt. She'll nag you if you take a shower (according to tradition, no showers for a month! ew.) She'll nag you if you eat a banana or a piece of melon, based on some unscientific "ancient tradition." She'll nag you if you feel quesy and reach for a cold drink.

    Judging on some "confinement ladies" my relatives have hired, some aren't even so great with newborns. They're just good at the traditions. Unless you believe strongly in Chinese traditions, I don't know why you would get one.

    They are much more expensive than traditional amahs. A confinement lady may cost HK 8,000- HK 10,000 a month and work a standard 8-hour day. A live-in Filipina amah costs HK 4,000 a month, round the clock. For that price, you can get two amahs!

    Of course, it is up to you. But I've never heard of one with decent English, as they mostly cater to traditional Chinese families. My Chinese mom didn't even have one, and her kids came out just fine.

    I'm still in early pregnancy, so not thinking so much about this now. I REALLY hope my extended family don't try to bully me into hiring one. Good luck! :)

  2. #10
    Biggie is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Hong kong island

    I believe the extra pair of hands in the first month is valuable. Depending on your personality and need, you can interview and find a lady that suits you. Some are bossy, some would listen to you. But do beware that they tend to only cook Chinese food and soups, and there are some that are not that great with cooking or with baby care. You can consider using an agent so if the first one wasn't suitable, you can change in the first week.
    Posted via Mobile Device

  3. #11
    FutureHKmom is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    I'm a local Chinese who went to international school and spent 10 years in the US at college, grad school and working. I had a confinement lady for both my kids and she wad great. Any traditions that I followed were decided by me. It was great to have her as she had tons of experience with newborns and cooked good and nutritious Chinese food for me. There are lots of bossy confinement ladies out there but don't think all are like that! That's probably why my confinement lady needs to be booked as early as hospitals in HK!!
    Posted via Mobile Device

  4. #12
    Gataloca's Avatar
    Gataloca is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010

    I think it really depend on the lady... But yes, if you don't believe in the traditions, you may find them annoying.

    My sister in law got her confinement lady license around the time I was pregnant. She tried to do "her job" with me, by calling me from time to time to give me "advices" which I found quite "unless" (beside being a first time mom, I read a lot, and for most of the stuff she told me, I already knew that. And usually when I asked deeper into a subject, she would not know the answer). When we had family dinner together, she would try to "advise" me about what to eat and not to eat... Once I ordered a 7-up cause I was too hot (it was summer, 30 degree outside) and she just disapproved me saying that I should drink hot stuff!!!.... I was thinking "Leave me alone! Can I just eat and drink what I want? It is not like I do that everyday!!!"

    So definitely, if you don't have any craving that is against the traditional stuff, then would be OK. If you find a bossy one that think that you should follow her order because she knows better than you, then it may be very annoying....
    Posted via Mobile Device

  5. #13
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009

    It's truly interesting to hear the thoughts shared here especially the views of Gracey and futureHKmom which seem like polar opposites.

    Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

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