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Why Chinese Mothers are Superior...??

  1. #33
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gataloca View Post
    Yes, I guess having a child is a kind of investment after all :-)
    I'd rather take my chances with a mutual fund--much better for the family relationships. :)
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  2. #34
    TheQuasimother is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gataloca View Post
    My mom seems to focus always on the empty side of the glass. Again, I was very unlucky, as my baby, my brother's baby, and my cousin's grandson were all born on the same week. My mom just said "well, lets see who grow faster!". So she just keeps on comparing our babies. For example, my brother's baby and my cousin's grandson already got their first teeth, while mine still hasn't (mine is also the skinniest one as I breastfeed and probably due to his eczema, he didn't gain much weight). My mom just said that my baby was slow. I told her that every baby grow at his own speed. She said "sure, and yours will always be the slowest one!".
    Gataloca...
    My mum is like that. She's constantly comparing. And as her daughter and a parent, I know that I don't want my child to feel the way she's made me feel all my life! It's become worse since my sister (her perfect child) has had a child. She's a typical Asian parent. So, as an adult, I've learnt to distance myself from her and distance her grandkids away from her. I don't need her negative energy. If and when she does visit or see my kids, she's under strict instructions not to compare or impose her opinions on my children if not, I'll take them away. Or, I'll blatantly point out that Grandma is wrong. No child should have to endure that from someone who is supposed to love them the most. My policy is that if they (in my case my mum) doesn't know any better, then she should learn. And over time, she's worked it out and now, very rarely would compare my child's ability to another.
    “If you want to get to the castle, you’ve got to swim the moat.” Richard Jenkins in Eat Pray Love

  3. #35
    Portia is offline Registered User
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    This may be of interest - an article where Amy Chua responds to comments about the extract from her book:

    http://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/20...ds-to-readers/

    One of the things she says in the interview is:

    "There is no easy formula for parenting, no right approach (I don’t believe, by the way, that Chinese parenting is superior—a splashy headline, but I didn’t choose it). The best rule of thumb I can think of is that love, compassion and knowing your child have to come first, whatever culture you’re from. It doesn’t come through in the excerpt, but my actual book is not a how-to guide; it’s a memoir, the story of our family’s journey in two cultures, and my own eventual transformation as a mother. Much of the book is about my decision to retreat from the strict “Chinese” approach, after my younger daughter rebelled at 13."

  4. #36
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    THAT puts a totally differnt spin on the entire article, doesn't it???

  5. #37
    jvn
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    It does rather!

  6. #38
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    It does - BUT the "cynical" side of me thinks "how convenient!" - Amy Chua writes the article and then can claim "Oh I'm not as severe as I sound, just buy my book and see". WSJ got probably millions of hits on the article, the book gets an enormous amount of publicity, and it's a win-win for everyone involved.

    I think probably she knew full well when she was putting that essay together that it would inflame public response and that was her intent. Yes I've heard that the book is much more mild and she can recognise her own mistakes in part etc, but I do think that she wrote that essay knowing full well how it would come across. She's a smart lady.

  7. #39
    carang's Avatar
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    oh, yeah, it is/was a COMPLETE and total publicity stunt. i'm sure they knew how the article would get passed around and discussed.

    funny thing though, the article totally put me off of buying the book. before i read the article, i could see myself buying it.. after, not so much.

  8. #40
    rani's Avatar
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    The book is called "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" and it hasn't reached any bestselling lists yet. :)

    I'm surprised they've described it as as "An awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one mother's exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards-and the costs-of raising her children the Chinese way."

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