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Helper gone missing

  1. #9
    geomum is offline Registered User
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    A lot of helpers love listening to Bollywood songs and watching Hindi movies including mine who is Indonesian. If you can somehow get the phone or email of the people she was in touch with here, friends or family, you may get a clue. Try contacting the mobile company she was using and ask for bills to find phone numbers.
    I would also say you were a bit too generous with her considering she only had been working for you for 9 months. But then you seem like a very loving and caring person so that can be excused.

  2. #10
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    call the police and immigration - you don't want to be liable for anything that happens.

    you will probably get phone calls, but they will die down in a month or so...sucks, but that's what happened with us when our helper left (she didn't run away) and had lots of unpaid loans.

    make sure your next helper has her own phone though and doesn't give away your phone number for ANY reason whatsoever.

  3. #11
    zyxwv is offline Registered User
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    The other posters have given you great advice and it sounds like you have executed on most, if not all, of it.*

    It is kind of you to be so concerned for your helper's welfare. However, if she has cleaned out her room and taken everything but a few old clothes, then *she is very likely safe and you shouldn't be concerned.*

    Don't fault yourself for being generous and don't worry about feeling taken advantage of. *It was the caring thing to do and even if she was less than honest, you helped someone who probably needed the help.*

    Don't let it stop you from being generous with your next helper. I would say, maybe don't give a loan next time, either give as a gift or don't give it at all.*
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    Posted via Mobile Device

  4. #12
    kathyh is offline Registered User
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    Dear Zyxwv,
    Thanks for your comforting comments- I feel better now and learned to look on the bright side that, perhaps in some way, I may have helped her.
    If she had cleared most of the stuff and leaving few old clothes behind for me to throw away, I would have felt less worrying but because she had also left behind her 4 year old daughter's new and pretty pair of shoes (Kirarin) that's why it made me wonder and worry.
    I put myself in her shoes - if I had to run away.... I would bring that shoes with me bec it seems costly and the shoes would made her daughter very happy. Some Hello Kitty clips are left in the shoe box too.

    Funny that I was telling a friend this afternoon - since I'm burnt by being nice, I think it's a lesson learnt to be tougher than be too generous to helper, especially. But I guess you are right that I shouldn't let this person influence me. Wow, this is so therapeutic!! Thanks.

  5. #13
    penguinsix is offline Registered User
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    Tangentially related to this thread, I wonder how many people have a secondary number to contact for their helper? For example we have the number of our helper's sister-in-law who also lives in HK, and the number of her family back in the Philippines to call if there is a problem.

    Might be a good thing to ask for if you don't have it already.

  6. #14
    nikkig is offline Registered User
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    Hi - how do you know something horrible has not happened to her - could she have been involved in an accident or something? I know the money thing looks bad but she may be hurt somewhere?

  7. #15
    elle is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikkig View Post
    Hi - how do you know something horrible has not happened to her - could she have been involved in an accident or something? I know the money thing looks bad but she may be hurt somewhere?
    the OP really seems to have taken this into account and filing a missing person report with the police, which it seems she has done, is just about all you can do. But if you read the OP's account of what happened, her helper cleared out almost all of her things from her room, which would indicate that she left voluntarily...

    Kathyh:
    More people should treat their helpers with as much kindness as you do. I hope your helper is alright and that you find new help and can move on soon.

  8. #16
    kathyh is offline Registered User
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    I have contacted the Philippines Consulate the very next day (even though I don't need to as the police would have done it anyway but not soon enough, in my opinion) and they will do the contacting with her family/kids in Philippines as they have the contact details in the Consulate.
    I've tried contacting the friends - they too were shocked to know that she had just left and that Emma owes them money too.

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