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If your husband said 'no'/sperm donation

  1. #1
    ifnotwhen is offline Registered User
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    Mar 2011
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    hk
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    If your husband said 'no'/sperm donation

    Been with my husband for nearly 17 years, nearly 4 years married. He gave me the impression that he wanted kids but this has suddenly changed recently. It is killing me. I had done all the right things to get ready for pregnancy and he knew that. Then suddenly he says no.
    I am strong. That is good. I am willing to work on this as well and I also have the courage to start my life alone.
    Would you consider sperm donation if you separated from your husband?
    How do I go about it?

  2. #2
    TheQuasimother is offline Registered User
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    Nov 2009
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    Hong Kong
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    Yes, without a doubt.
    If you are an independent (and have the financial means) person, strong and able to stand on your on two feet and your husband has done an about turn, I'd say go ahead. The joy children can give you should not be missed out on simply because a man has changed his mind.
    “If you want to get to the castle, you’ve got to swim the moat.” Richard Jenkins in Eat Pray Love

  3. #3
    matemate is offline Registered User
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    Jan 2010
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    from a man's perspective, i would not be so sure that he has really made a u-turn. an impression is usually something lost on men.
    did you ask him before literally "are you ok to have kids later, and if yes by when"? men are simple creatures and best respond to clear cut speak...

  4. #4
    jgny is offline Registered User
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    You didn't say how old you were. If you REALLY ABSOLUTELY want kids, know that the clock starts ticking after age 35. I assume given the 17 years, you are over 35. You need to have an open discussion with him. Tell him what you want and if you cannot agree on something, then you need to live your life how you want.

  5. #5
    jgny is offline Registered User
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    Oct 2010
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    hk
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    I wanted to add that I'm sorry you're going through this. It must be tough. But try clear communications (even a therapist if you have to) but also make Plan B and C. Wishing you luck.

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