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Stand and Deliver: My most recent birth experience

  1. #41
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    Hi Thanka -- Thanks for all the information.
    I mentioned the gawking Chinese men because of something I saw, not something in your post.
    At Baptist, they showed me a laboring room with narrow berths and lots of equipment, like fetal heart monitors, with an open door that led right into a corridor filled with all sorts of people (inexplicably with giant suitcases). I presume these were the masses of hangers-on that women bring in with them? There were men, women, kids, most of them yelling on mobile phones or eating things.
    I presume this is where early labor takes place. Then, when you're getting closer, they move you to a delivery / birthing room.
    What I'm worried about is that, at least in early labor, in this situation, there would be no way for any woman to move around with freedom or privacy.
    I'm going to take a 3rd trip to the ward. The last 2 times, the nurses were so overburdened shuffling huge numbers of Chinese "birth-tourists" around that they didn't have time or patience to answer many questions...

  2. #42
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    My husband, God bless him, is very nervous about medical stuff. He goes to the doctor at the drop of a pin. That's not a criticism -- that's just his way.
    I'm thinking that I might hire a doula for labor. I sounds like I'm going to have to fight on all sides to have a reasonably natural birth, and I might not have the strength to do it if I'm in the middle of that birth! So a sympathetic doula might be a good person to go to bat for me, so to speak.

  3. #43
    ozmerc is offline Registered User
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    Gracy - not sure if you are planning to go to a public hospital, but if so you won't be allowed to have a doula with you, from what I understand. Not sure what the private hospital policies are regarding this - they may vary. I am allowed to have one but I have booked a private room at a private hospital, which seems to allow me additional 'privileges' during labour.

  4. #44
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gracey View Post
    Hi Thanka -- Thanks for all the information.
    I mentioned the gawking Chinese men because of something I saw, not something in your post.
    At Baptist, they showed me a laboring room with narrow berths and lots of equipment, like fetal heart monitors, with an open door that led right into a corridor filled with all sorts of people (inexplicably with giant suitcases). I presume these were the masses of hangers-on that women bring in with them? There were men, women, kids, most of them yelling on mobile phones or eating things.
    I presume this is where early labor takes place. Then, when you're getting closer, they move you to a delivery / birthing room.
    What I'm worried about is that, at least in early labor, in this situation, there would be no way for any woman to move around with freedom or privacy.
    I'm going to take a 3rd trip to the ward. The last 2 times, the nurses were so overburdened shuffling huge numbers of Chinese "birth-tourists" around that they didn't have time or patience to answer many questions...
    That sounds exactly like my experience with Adventist Hospital (Tsuen Wan)--one huge factor why, even though, I'd paid a deposit to give birth there I decided to go with the public hospital instead. Oh, and my doctor flaked out on us too. Honestly, after my experience with the public hospital, I am so glad that my doctor bailed at the last moment because the expense of the private hospital is totally not worth it to us because

    1. It's just as cramped and chaotic (or moreso) as the public hospital
    2. They don't allow rooming-in so if you're hoping to breastfeed it really does put you at a huge disadvantage (those first few hours and days with baby getting into the swing of breastfeeding really can make or break the chances of breastfeeding successfully, I think)
    3. There are lots and lots of Mainland medical tourists (and family) wandering in and out of the wards at all hours--eating and talking loudly--good luck with getting privacy or rest
    4. It's EXPENSIVE--pretty much, the sky is the limit when it comes to what you could end up paying in a private hospital--I guess if you have awesome insurance that covers everything then it's a non-issue

    About a doula--you can't bring a doula with you into the public hospital. But, I'm also wondering that instead of bringing your husband into the "delivery" room if you opted to have a different birth partner (hey, some women just don't have husbands to bring with them into the delivery room so shouldn't it be allowed to have at least another support person there--such as a sister or mother?)--maybe you might be able to get permission for a different birth partner to be there and then bring in a doula as your birth partner.

    You can, however, only have one person with you in labor and on the documents I've seen it's said to be the husband. Don't know how willing the hospitals are to compromise on this. Of course, your husband will want to be there for the birth but it might also make him feel completely helpless if you're going through labor and he's not prepared to actively support you--and if he has issues with blood or seeing someone in pain, he might pass out too.

    So, for practical reasons (especially if you're planning for a med-free birth) you might just want a different birth partner there. I flat-out told my husband at some point during this pregnancy that if when it came time to give birth I felt he hadn't done his homework and wasn't ready to support me through labor then I would rather he not be in the room with me--for practical reasons.

    Just something to think about...

  5. #45
    tsubasa is offline Registered User
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    I had an unmarried friend give birth in a public hospital in Kowloon and was not allowed to bring her mother in with her. The father wanted nothing to do with the baby so was not present. It was so scary for my friend having her first child! I really wish this rule will be changed or has been already because it's really unfair...

  6. #46
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    I know that the policy is that you can have a female birthing partner if for some reason your husband cannot be there, but I have heard of women partners not being allowed in. I think it's crazy because you could probably bring ANY guy and say that he's your husband, I don't think that they ID the men do they? (Maybe they did, I wouldn't know - I was in labour at the time!) but just because it's a woman they are often rejected...

  7. #47
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions.
    1. I am delivering at a private hospital, Baptist. However, they no longer allow people to pre-book private rooms. It's first-come first-serve, so only time will tell if I have one.
    2. Thanka -- My husband does have issues with medical procedures, something like a phobia. It's no lack of love or support on his behalf.. I'm thinking seriously about whether it would be better for both of us if he's not expected to be my birthing partner. But, of course, I want him there for as much of it as possible.
    3. The idea of the doula was to give me support, and to maybe take some pressure off the hubby, too. I want it to be a happy occasion for everyone.

    I had no idea women birthing partners were being turned away. Egads. What if it's your Mom? Sounds better to be than a deadbeat dad who didn't show up!

    Anyway, I am going to ask my doctor and then the maternity nurses about the doula issue. They already think I'm a "maah faan" patient!

  8. #48
    banane76 is offline Registered User
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    I heard that a doula was able to be with a woman in the general ward at Queen Mary quite recently. Maybe check in with Kathy Kitzis of A Mothering Touch. She was the person's doula. I know that when I went in with my first at 2009, you had to wait to be in active labour (more than 3cm dilated) to have anyone accompany you.

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