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9 months old & doesn't like people

  1. #1
    LHeaven1977 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2011

    9 months old & doesn't like people

    My little boy is nearly 9 months old and basically doesn't like people or babies. When it's just me & him he's fine but, as soon as I take him anywhere with other people he just cries, he won't sit up (although he can) & generally throws a wobbly until I pick him up or move him away from everyone. I feel as though I'm keeping him separated from people & babies but he just won't mix???? I don't understand why? As I said he's OK when alone with me or his Daddy or the pair of us together - anyone else = screaming hissy fit.

    After 9 months I'm starting to flag as I'm always walking away from my group of friends to calm him down so am basically feeling lonely. I don't want to stop going to meet people but it's starting to feel like the easiest option for a quiet life.

    He's just such a different baby when it's just me & him, I'd really like other people to be able to see what I see.

    Advise please!!!!
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  2. #2
    Gataloca's Avatar
    Gataloca is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    I think at 9 month, this is normal (mine should reach this milestone soon as well). It is called stranger anxiety.

    I don't have real advises, as your baby development is ahead of mine, but found this on BabyCenter:

    Hope this can help!
    Posted via Mobile Device

  3. #3
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    Dec 2008
    South District
    don't worry it will pass - it's just a baby is 10mths now and she is finally getting to "enjoy" more people's company...but having said that, she still fusses around people she doesn't "know" very well...i.e. those she doesn't see on a regular basis (3-4 times a week).

    even through her temper tantrums / impoliteness I always brought her out...not only did I have to get out of the house myself, but seeing more people will ease the anxiety a bit.

    good luck!

  4. #4
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    May 2009
    My husband and I were looking at this thread and I thought, "I really don't have any advice" because my son has always been a "people person" (as a baby he was making eye contact with strangers on the train etc.--trying to get them to interact with him--he hasn't changed much since then).

    But, then my husband suggested carrying the baby in a baby carrier if you don't already do that. It might make him feel more secure and less vulnerable when around strangers.

    I really don't know how I would deal if my child was constantly upset by other people--to me that doesn't seem normal but that may be because I've never had a child who was like that. I think that if it continues to be severe this is something I would actually talk to my child's doctor about because extreme anxiety about everyone (including close family members or people he sees regularly--not just strangers) except the parents seems a bit alarming. Maybe there are other measures his doctor can suggest to ease his tension and help him adapt better. To me, it just seems way too stressful on the parents (you) to have to deal with this with your child on a constant basis. Has he always had this type of aversion or is this a recent thing?

  5. #5
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Tsuen Wan
    Around 9 months old my son got a little bit that way, but mostly with other kids. What I did was to start a playgroup to get him used to other kids on a regular basis. When he was just over 1,we started attending a professional playgroup as well.
    Basically at your babys age is when stranger anxiety comes out. He needs more socialization, not less. I also like the idea of keeping him in a carrier, where he is not expected to be let loose or passed around. Baby steps...they really do learn fast and hopefully this stage will be a memory soon.

  6. #6
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    Oct 2007
    North Point
    My 8 month old is a bit like that at times. Like Thanka suggested though, she is better when she is in the carrier. She is ok when she is on my lap - but sometimes when I put her down she loses it... other times she is ok with me putting her down but if I move too far away, she loses it. It's a day to day thing though - some days she is completely fine going to other people and with me leaving her, other days she is extremely clingy. I never had to deal with these issues with my first daughter who was always very friendly with EVERYONE... I do think that the most important thing is that they feel secure, and if you can give them that security, and then increase the "distance" between you and the baby while reassuring them at the same time, then they will grow out of it with not too much struggle... but of course for some babies it will be harder than others...

  7. #7
    jvn is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Mid-Levels, Hong Kong
    Just to agree with the others, a carrier to make him feel secure and take him to some nice gentle playgroups with not too many kids but don't try and force him to join in just keep holding him until he's comfortable even if that's several sessions, I think pushing him would increase his anxiety (not that I'm saying you do).

    I think babies have as many personalities as adults do and it sounds like he's just a bit shy, they change and develop so quickly around this time that in a few months you could be posting here about not being able to get him to come back when you call!

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