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Urgent: in a diemma. please share your suggestion

  1. #9
    howardcoombs is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by anotherone View Post
    I would strongly suggest you not to hire this lady. It is standard practice here (particularly among Chinese employers) to just write "this helper has worked for us from such and such time" and nothing else when something has gone wrong
    I'm sure most of us here have heard plenty of horror stories about some employers and how they treat their helpers. When these helpers stop putting up with abuse and decide to leave, these employers regularly refuse to give references and/or just give bad references. Keep in mind, there are always 3 sides to the story. 2 versions and the truth and most of the time you wont find out the truth.

    No refence letter or a bad one should not stop you from giving someone who you really get along with a chance.
    To reiterate my earlier point ; a good referene is also no guarantee that you will get on with the person.
    Trust your instincts.

    HC

  2. #10
    anotherone is offline Registered User
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    This particular helper that the OP is considering has finished her 2-year contract - would she have stayed that long if she has been "abused" as you are suggesting? From my experience, helpers these days (apart from the very "green" ones) have no hesitation in leaving if and when they are being abused, or when they simply don't like something about their job. So unless this particular helper is telling the OP that she's been abused, it would be beyond foolish to assume that's the reason why she has failed to obtain a decent reference letter.

    I agree with you of course that a good reference letter is not the be-all-and-end-all. But I am simply telling the OP what that sort of one-liner reference letter usually means, particularly since many people don't appear to be aware of that.

    Quote Originally Posted by howardcoombs View Post
    I'm sure most of us here have heard plenty of horror stories about some employers and how they treat their helpers. When these helpers stop putting up with abuse and decide to leave, these employers regularly refuse to give references and/or just give bad references. Keep in mind, there are always 3 sides to the story. 2 versions and the truth and most of the time you wont find out the truth.

    No refence letter or a bad one should not stop you from giving someone who you really get along with a chance.
    To reiterate my earlier point ; a good referene is also no guarantee that you will get on with the person.
    Trust your instincts.

    HC

  3. #11
    rs2000 is offline Registered User
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    she said that the employeers took her passport and "documents" for 2 years and alsp kept her mobile phone. so she could not talk to her family and kids. They wanted her to conintue after the 1st contract and when she refused, they refused to give her some decent reference letter and also refused to talk to the future employers.

    Now pls give your views on this story too. i know anything is possible but just wanted your views on this.
    i was thinking that if she has been so bad, they would not have kept her for 2 years? unless she did something which was revealed towards the end of those 2 yearss...............

  4. #12
    anotherone is offline Registered User
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    Not meaning to sound like a broken record, but I have heard that particular story (and many more) many times over. Truth is Filipino maids have a very well-organised support network in Hong Kong, and I would struggle to believe that she would have allowed her past employers to keep her documents AND has not used a mobile phone (although many helpers have more than one phone) for the entire two years.

    Most employers also recognise the fact that it is futile to keep the helper's mobile in order to stop her from chatting away during work hours (what other reason can there be for keeping someone's phone?), as phones are so cheap these days. Which further discredits the helper's story.

    Just my two cents.

  5. #13
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
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    did you try the domestic helper section on Asia Expat? we found our helper there and she is awesome.

  6. #14
    rs2000 is offline Registered User
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    Hi there, yes I saw her from there and interviewed her from that website only. i have called a few more from there and only few show up for interviews (most want "western" employers, some dont want kids).

  7. #15
    peainpod is offline Registered User
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    We also hired our helper without employer references and in fact she was terminated but after 3years (so completed one contract). Basically we did it on a friend's recommendation (her own helper is friends with her and they took her in when she was abruptly terminated.)

    Honestly there was a risk but we weighed the positives (friend's character reference, her experience and her sensible responses during her phone interview with us) against the negatives (the lack of employer ref and the summary dismissal) and decided to go with our instincts - which was that we liked her.

    Anyway we've been most happy with her, and really glad we took the risk. That said, completely agree with Howard that you need to go with your instincts. Also our household is relatively simple (one small child, I work p/t so can take on childcare during the week, plus I can shop/cook myself). Depending on how demanding your household is re. helper duties, this will impact on your needs/expectations of your chosen helper.
    Last edited by peainpod; 04-18-2011 at 02:02 PM.

  8. #16
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    WHOEVER you hire, you're going to be taking a risk. Just go with your gut feeling. I don't think that you REALLY know 100% sure who is going to be a great helper until you've been working as a team for a month or two at least. One helper might be fantastic for you, but horrible for someone else (so maybe she might not have glowing references). Also the other way around - someone might have been wonderful with their previous employer but it will be chaos with you.

    I hired our helper based on the recommendation of a friend. I trust this friend and they trust her, so my opinion was that trust is the most important thing, and that recommendation was much better than the recommendation from an unknown previous employer. I didn't even call her previous employers, although she gave me their numbers.

    Our helper is not a "perfect fit" for our family, I often wish she was more assertive - although for many other families, her quiet nature might be a good thing. What she DOES do well, she does very well. She's great with my kids, and she's extremely trustworthy. She's not the GREATEST cook, she's fairly good at cleaning, although she sometimes misses things. But we took a gamble and it more or less paid off. I'm glad we hired her because she is very good at the important things :)

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