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need to not feel blue today.

  1. #9
    howardcoombs is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by taysty View Post
    Hope your baby "playing favourite" phase pass soon.
    Unfortunately, it doesnt pass but rather it morphs.
    Next will be "I like daddy more than you because you are mean to me" around ages 7-10
    Followed a few years later with "I hate you all, you just dont understand" around ages 12-16
    Get used to it and develop a thicker skin and hope the teenager years will not be too hurtful.
    *smile*

    HC

  2. #10
    howardcoombs is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by taysty View Post
    Hope your baby "playing favourite" phase pass soon.
    Unfortunately, it doesnt pass but rather it morphs.
    Next will be "I like daddy more than you because you are mean to me" around ages 7-10
    Followed a few years later with "I hate you all, you just dont understand" around ages 12-16
    Get used to it and develop a thicker skin and hope the teenager years will not be too hurtful.
    *smile*

    HC

  3. #11
    taysty is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by howardcoombs View Post
    Next will be "I like daddy more than you because you are mean to me" around ages 7-10
    Don't have to wait till 7-10, my seven months old baby is already telling me that. Now I know what "daddy's girl" really is.

  4. #12
    lizliz is offline Registered User
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    That's the problem hire a maid. So i didn't hire one and do allllll by myself. It's hard work and exhausted but worth it.

  5. #13
    taysty is offline Registered User
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    Yes I agreed with you but my case is different. I hired a helper becoz I dont intend to quit working at first. I'm so happy to see my baby more often now that I quit.

  6. #14
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Babies and children are able to break our hearts in ways that no one else can and often they don't mean to do it. It's a long process--this parenthood thing. I've had a few experiences where my heart broke when my son preferred someone over me--sometimes it was the helper, sometimes dadda or even the grandparents. There are other instances where my son has broken my heart in other ways.

    Just remember that children have minds of their own--and just like us some days they want to spend more time with one person rather than another. The only difference is that children, and especially babies are 100% honest about it--they don't know how to "be polite" at this point. It still hurts and it shakes one's confidence as a mother--it feels like a huge slap in the face. I think it's important, though, to respect the child's preferences and not try to "make him like me more"--just be yourself.

    I totally disagree with the poster that said, "that's the problem with hiring a maid" as this problem can happen with ANYONE--I've seen it happen with everyone in our family. It actually hurt much more when my son prefers Grandma or Grandpa over me. This can happen when the child spends any amount of time with anyone else but you and unless you are going to purposely keep your child away from other people (probably not a healthy approach) then you run the "risk" of this happening.

    I agree with the poster who said that the helper brings different skills to the table to help parent a child. Why would anyone want to NOT give their child the best? Sometimes giving your child the best means that several different people have input into his or her life--each offering their best to your child. I know for myself, by myself, I wouldn't have the energy to really give my child the best all the time. Having a helper means that I hardly ever lose my temper with my children because I'm not running in a constant state of exhaustion. Before helper (which was almost 2 years) I would reach that "burnout" phase and I wasn't a very happy mama to be around. Sometimes I think that it's like self-martyrdome or someone having a super-mom complex that drives women to try to do everything on their own so they can "hoarde" all the attention of their children to themselves. It may work for some people definitely not for me. Been there, done that, not so much fun for anyone in my family.

    But, just know, that it's just an emotion--and every mom is going to be filled with overwhelming emotions all of their child's life--joy, sadness, frustration, excitement, pride, worry and even emotions that are so deep we can't even express them. I remember a quote I read when I was pregnant with my first child that said:

    “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”-Elizabeth Stone
    I think that pretty much sums it up. So, we can't let all emotions just completely rock our worlds every time we feel them. Feel them and then move on. That method has kept me going these past 4 years.

    But, yes, I do empathize with your feelings. Most moms do, I think.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  7. #15
    megan2008 is offline Registered User
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    My daughter and I were separated from daddy while I was going back to school in the states. She had only seen him several times for a year and half when she was 12 -28 months old and around 20 months she would start crying out for him when she was upset. This did not make sense to me as she had only been with him for limited amounts of time. Eventually it passed. I asked someone about it and they said that she could have been doing it because of the reaction she was getting from me. I understand how you feel. For me it feel felt like I was not doing something right or doing something wrong. Try not to let it get to you as a lot of parents have had experienced similar situations. Seems like it is just a stage of growing up.

  8. #16
    taysty is offline Registered User
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    Thanka2, after reading what you wrote I felt so much better. I will continue to give the best I can to my baby and cherish the time as a SAHM in the time being.

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