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  1. #1
    poor me is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2011
    hong kong


    From the outside, I look like I have a so-called "picture perfect" life. Wonderful husband, great kids, excellent job and business BUT the last few months have been very difficult. It just seems like nothing is going our way.

    First there was our helper, after many years of service, she did the thing many helpers do. She moved to Canada. (4 months ago)

    Then our landlord decided to sell our place. The only place we can find that is suitable is about double of what we are paying now. (3 months ago, then changed his mind... now changed it again on Good Friday)

    I have a new business and the first few months have been extremely difficult for me. I have some great partners, but they have no experience in the business so I am finding dealing with them, on occasion, extremely taxing. Other than that, the business is going all right, but I am doing a lot more than initially thought, which I don't mind. It is good for the business but I am exhausted by it all and all the accompanying drama. (on-going, but really started only about 2 months ago)

    Now, our second helper has just given us notice. So, very shortly, we will be down to just Dear Husband and myself. (2 days ago)

    I am just sick of all the drama. I would like one week without impending doom (or the feeling of it).

    My husband is my pillar of strength. I know my life could be so much worse, which makes me feel guilty for complaining about it all. I would NEVER contemplate suicide, that is just not something I could/would ever do. But I am having a hard time just getting out of bed in the morning. I snap at my kids, have occasionally smacked them (then felt totally guilty about it), lose my patience with the people I love the most. I find that while normally, I'm an easy-going person always up for a good laugh, I just can't remember the last time I enjoyed a good belly-laugh.

    Finances are stretched to the max. We were heavily in debt and we are almost done paying it off, only about 1.5 years to go, so I'm actually feeling ok about that. But to move to the new place, we need to do some major renovations. The new landlord has agreed to some rent-free period, but we just don't know if it will cover our expenses, plus coming up with the deposit. Also, we will now need to pay an agency in order to get a new helper, our car is on its last legs and needs to be replaced and and and. You see where I'm going with this, right?

    Anyway, I'm sorry to have made my initial post such a novel to read. I just really needed to vent.

  2. #2
    fingerscrossed is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Tin Hau

    Hang in there! It sounds like you're going through the challenges of life but it's only a phase and it'll pass. I totally hear you re. the helper issue. I was at a total loss when my helper was ill and left us in Feb, just after Chinese New Year. I don't have immediate family in HK so I was doing it all on my own for eight weeks. It was hard and every day I'd be so exhausted I wouldn't be in the mood to play with my son, would be really short fused about the slightest thing and realised that housework is one of the most unrewarding jobs in the world. My husband and I argued more and at one stage, I felt like throwing it all in and flying home. In retrospect, I think it's all stress related and not having enough support around. But just remember, it's only a phase and once things get sorted, it'll be alright. It's good to vent and get it off your chest.

    If you haven't found a helper, why not do a direct hire and find one with a finished contract. It's only $200 for them to process their visa at immigration and they can be working for you in a week or two. Your business seems to be doing okay so that's a good sign.

    Good luck with every thing and treat yourself to a quick-fix, like a facial or massage or a good workout. Be good to yourself!

  3. #3
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    South District

    hang in there! things seem to be working out albeit not as quickly as efficiently as you'd like...but things are fine! like fingerscrossed says - get a something good for yourself...indulge in something to make your spirits better...sleep in - have a nice meal! :)

    i did see a post here that someone had a good helper available at the end of June - maybe you could interview the candidate and see where that leads you...

    think positive - there are many good things that are happening in your life too ...always easy to overlook those when you are not feeling so great....try thinking of those happy things! :)

  4. #4
    Gracey is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Hong Kong

    If you're feeling seriously depressed, and not just a little down, consider conselling. I know everyone says they don't have the time / money. But I've seen depression in our family before, and it can build up to a serious condition.
    Resources is a clinic in Central that charges on a sliding scale depending on income. They have many English-speaking, well-qualified therapists.

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