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Urgent, helper not following instructions - suggestions please

  1. #9
    solidstars's Avatar
    solidstars is offline Registered User
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    and when you get a new helper, don't give her PH days off unless she's earned it.

  2. #10
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
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    I will not put up with her behavior. You should start looking for another helper.

  3. #11
    pinki09 is offline Registered User
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    Thanks everyone for the opinions...I am still going back to work everyday, leaving my son behind with her. So I am just thinking of waiting until May 20th, when I will start staying at home. I fear if I give her a notice now, she may take out the frustration on my son. Infact, today my son had a bump on his head when I visited home for lunch and she said she was in the bathroom for wee-wee at that time. She herself told me about this incident and its very upsetting. Though I would be unwilling to believe that she did this on purpose, can people be so bad to vent out anger on little children? probably not. So I am just keeping mum, giving her daily instructions as usual and observing her behavior. End of the month I will be in a better position to make a decision, and if she really shows improvement during these 2 weeks, I will give her another chance, else just let her go.

  4. #12
    baby09 is offline Registered User
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    Fire her. Her attiude is totally unacceptable. I have also told my helper she can buy her own stuff with the money i give her but she must show me the reciept and i will assess whether its acceptable to continue buying next time. If she is already ignoring instructions now as to how to look after your first child, it wil be worse when the newborn comes along and you will be even more stressed with 2 kids and a troublesome helper. So many helpers have finsihed contracts and can start almost straight away, so resolve the problems now.

  5. #13
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    just because your son had a bump on his head does NOT mean she is abusing him! kids fall, kids get bumps. it happens. i would NOT fire her because of that. i WOULD fire her for her attitude, lack of manners and inability to successfully execute your simple instructions.

  6. #14
    pinki09 is offline Registered User
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    Carang, you are right, even I am not willing to believe she is responsible for it, only that its very upsetting that all of these incidents are happening so closely spaced :( Even in my presence my son falls some times. Thats why I am giving her a benefit of doubt for once....if I see a repetition of unacceptable behavior, I wouldnt think twice second time around. An actual decision should follow one warning atleast...this time I have had a very serious face-off with her on Sat...she knows exactly what upset me. In any case since I still have to go back to work for two more weeks, I cannot take a decision now. I will give her two weeks. If she improves then well and good...if not, then no second chance.

  7. #15
    RileyC is offline Registered User
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    I think it is a sensible suggestion to find another helper before your second baby comes along. From what you have said, it seems that you treat your helper both well and fairly. Your requests are also very reasonable. Based on my own experiences, the kind of behaviour that your helper has been exhibiting usually only comes after a helper has worked for many years in the same job and starts to feel a little restless and bored. Then again, none of my family's helpers (even one that has worked with us for nearly two decades) has ever behaved like yours has. If your helper has only worked with you for 8 months and she's already like that, find another employee.

  8. #16
    RileyC is offline Registered User
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    I think it is a sensible suggestion to find another helper before your second baby comes along. From what you have said, it seems that you treat your helper both well and fairly. Your requests are also very reasonable. Based on my own experiences, the kind of behaviour that your helper has been exhibiting usually only comes after a helper has worked for many years in the same job and starts to feel a little restless and bored. Then again, none of my family's helpers (even one that has worked with us for nearly two decades) has ever behaved like yours has. If your helper has only worked with you for 8 months and she's already like that, she will probably only get worse with time.

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