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Care to share any confinement after miscarriage?

  1. #1
    missidealiste is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2011
    hong kong

    Care to share any confinement after miscarriage?

    Hi, mommies out there, hope anyone could give me some advise here..

    I have 2 different OB suspecting a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks. Both advised to wait one week to cfm. But it doesnt look good as it seem that utego had stopped growing...Both OB gave me 2 different options. One gave me the option of ending the pregnancy by D&C. The other OB advised me to wait for a natural miscarriage as the body can expel the remaining tissue itself or with help of med.

    Im trying to think straight while grieving -it is quite difficult :( It seem the health systerm here is quite different from Canada. I can sense that doctors in HK doesnt necessary give you the best options since the money they charge goes directly to their pocket... It is a difficult period as I need to decide on the miscarriage treatment when I still refuse to believe what is happening..

    Altho I dont have a clear idea what miscarriage treatment I will do, It seem it's easier for me to focus on the after care. I'm thinking of a proper confinement already so I can built a stronger body to welcome my next pregnancy. When I think that I can get pregnant again after all this is over, I feel less painful... Mommies out there, can you please share with me your experience, does confinement after miscarriage the same as pregnancy? Can I order confinement food.

  2. #2
    ssheng is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Kowloon Station

    So sorry for what you are going through, and you have my sincere sympathy. I only have anecdotal advice; that is, I understand from my mom and others who feel strongly about confinement food and rest that since your body produced the same hormones, etc and you will have blood loss, etc, that you should still eat the first few days of confinement food that are designed to cleanse the body and heal the internal organs. However, having also done the confinement myself, I recall at some point (depending on who is cooking for you), you also include a lot of foods for milk production, so I assume you could cut those out. I think it is the first 2 weeks that has the cleansing foods, based on the confinement schedule I was on. Hope others can provide you more solid advice. I wish you the best. :)

  3. #3
    catan is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    hong kong

    I am very sorry for what you are going through :(

    I had a miscarriage last year early around 6 weeks. My body expelled everything on its own over some days. My mother had me drink this tea/soup (red dates, dried longan, and an herb in it) daily instead of water. My mother also insisted on bed rest, no showers or baths during this time to facilitate recovery. She did not mention any specific confinement foods, but said I should not eat or drink anything cold/cooling, and should use lots of ginger and oil in cooking. I have to say I didn't take her very seriously, only did half the things she said, and felt extremely weak in the weeks after miscarrying.

    Please take care well.

  4. #4
    Gracey is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Hong Kong

    I'm sorry for what you're going through.
    If you want an opinion from a doctor who is not trying to just get money out of you, go to one of the hospitals where doctors simply make a salary. Public hospitals are obviously non-profit and very good in HK. For private ones, seek the resident doctor.
    A dear friend went through m/s and decided to do it naturally, as it is less intrusive than an operation. But every woman is different.
    Which doctors did you go to?
    Take care of yourself.

  5. #5
    MommyTo3 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2008

    I am sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks after the heart had stopped beating. I chose for the D&C since I had been spotting for a few days while the heart was still beating but when I found out, I just had to move on. I wanted it out and move on. The surgery lasted 15 minutes and I was able to go home 3 hours after (which was long but I have very low blood pressure and it was super low after the surgery so I felt dizzy). I had no bleeding afterwards. This was all in the US by the way. It took about 5 weeks for my period to kick back in and then we were allowed to try again. I got pregnant after 3-4 cycles and conceived twins naturally ... some kind of sign ;), I believe because we don't have twins in our family and I wasn't considered high risk. You need to do what's right for you, and you will know what is the best thing for you. It does take time and it never goes away but it does get better fairly quickly.

  6. #6
    jvn is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Mid-Levels, Hong Kong

    Sorry for what you are going through.

    I will say though that the doctors are giving you the usual options so it doesn't sound like you are being given bad advice, there are three paths in the case of a missed miscarriage you can either choose to let things take their course naturally, you can take some drugs to hasten things or you can go with a D&C. There are pros and cons to each option and each individual needs to choose the path that best suits them. I had to make this choice earlier this year and the pros and cons I found were this:

    Letting things take their course, the most natural option but could potentially take weeks where you would still 'feel' pregnant but knowing that you are not.
    Taking drugs, I know someone who did this and they had a horrible experience, it was very painful and they ended up in hospital for a D&C anyway - I think they do work for some people, possibly most people though so you can search on the internet for other stories.
    D&C. The disadvantage of course is that it is an operation with a general anaesthetic (here in HK anyway) but it is quick and painless, I chose to do this and it took less than 15 minutes and I was home an hour later.

    It is difficult, be kind to yourself.

  7. #7
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009

    I think that you should just allow your body to miscarry if it's going to be because if the doctors give you meds and then do a D&C your mind will always be asking "Maybe I wouldn't have miscarried anyway..." At least if/when your body does miscarry you can know it was natural and you did everything you could. It will be an emotional time of grief if you have miscarried and you don't need to add extra emotional burden to it.

    As far as confinement goes--usually, unless you have a medical complication that requires hospitalization, there is no prescribed "confinement" if you miscarry this early in pregnancy. My miscarriage was right around the same stage you're at now. You won't have too many physical affects from the miscarriage--mostly emotional ones. It will just be like a very heavy period. I don't know what the Chinese tradition is as far as confinement goes but I think that most Western women would just take a little time off and rest and recover emotionally.

    Unfortunately, I didn't apply this advice myself and went immediately back to work and then started to suffer the consequences for that about a month later after my miscarriage. I guess if you want to go on confinement and order confinement food, that can be arranged, though.

    Most importantly you need to talk through your grief with someone who will listen to you and not give you advice or tell you things like "Well, it was for the best that you had a miscarriage"--you wouldn't believe how rude people can be after one miscarries.

    I am truly sorry for your loss.

    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  8. #8
    TNT is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Hong Kong

    So sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I know it is very hard especially for your first pregnancy. As a Westerner I can't comment on the confinement food or experience, but i have had 4 miscarriages and have had all 3 options ie natural, D & C and using oral drugs to accelerate.They are all valid options with pros and cons and not one better or worse than the other. My preference is always for natural, but there were various good reasons for the other options. I can't say that one is better than the other; in my experience they were all pretty similar in terms of physical recovery and as others have said, it is a very individual choice. 3 of my miscarriages were very early (7 weeks ish) and were like a heavy period (the 2 that weren't a D & C). The 4th miscarriage was at 11 weeks and had more like a mini labour and expelled the foetus, so was harder physically and somewhat emotionally. So i think it is the stage of the pregnancy that makes the most difference, although again it is probably different for different individuals.

    by the way I also have 2 children and my first was conceived straight after my 2nd miscarriage (no period in between) and is a very happy and healthy 4 year old; my ob said it is meant to happen it will and he is right - we weren't trying but obviously not using contraception. at this early stage although you have hormone surges etc there is minimal impact on your body and I had a very straightforward pregnancy.

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