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how to react? husband's family takes child to beach without notifying you beforehand.

  1. #1
    solidstars's Avatar
    solidstars is offline Registered User
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    Aug 2008

    how to react? husband's family takes child to beach without notifying you beforehand.

    So, got to MIL's house today after work (with husband, we'll call him X) and:

    MIL: so i washed T already, but not really a bath, just to get the sand off

    Me: sand?

    **notible pause in living room**

    T's young cousin looks at MIL and then looks at me and shouts: Well, X knows we went to the beach today!

    Me: Okay. (looks at T) did you have fun? (chat with T)
    (I continue to pretend everything is okay)

    *X and I walk away from living room*

    Me: When were you going to tell me your mom took T to the beach?
    X: Well, I forgot myself, so that's why I forgot to tell you.


    How am i supposed to react? I don't mind T going to the beach, but I do mind that everyone seems to be keeping it a secret from me? If it wasn't for the fact that my MIL 'leaked' it out I wouldn't have known at all!!!!

    So confused! Not sure where to direct my anger, I supposed I should be angry at my husband for keeping it a secret?!

  2. #2
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung
    think this is one to let slip.... my hubby and his family do stuff with my kids when i'm at work... it's not a secret, they just don't think to tell me about it until after the fact... last week, my MIL took my son to mongkok for lunch with my BIL & SIL.... i was at work and had no idea...

  3. #3
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    Dec 2008
    South District
    it's the first time - would let it slide. at least your kid was under your MIL's supervision

  4. #4
    geomum is offline Registered User
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    Apr 2008
    Hong Kong
    Actually I would be very happy if any of my family members took care of my kids like that or entertained them by taking them to the beach. I would just say thank you and make them feel they did an awesome job :)

  5. #5
    matemate is offline Registered User
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    Jan 2010
    Hong Kong
    the one to blame is your husband if anyone. though agree with above to let it slip

  6. #6
    Gataloca's Avatar
    Gataloca is offline Registered User
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    Jan 2010
    I think probably they didn't mean to keep it as a secret. Probably for them was just a normal activity with your kid,... so normal that, why bother telling you?

    I bet that if my parents were the one taking care of my baby, they would take him everywhere, and wouldn't bother telling me about that as well....

  7. #7
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    I know from your other posts here, solidstars, that it's not always "happy land" at your house and you do have issues with your in-laws and your husband (X--is that cryptic for "ex"???)

    In this case, I would say this is completely normal. My parents-in-law look after my son on the weekends. They took him to the beach last weekend and neither my husband nor I knew about it until later. He had fun. To me, it's not any bigger of a deal than if they had taken him to the playground to play. Unless you have something particularly against your child going to the beach?

    Husbands forget a lot of things. My husband forgets to tell me a lot of things. Well, also he forgets to translate things for me sometimes because he speaks Cantonese and I don't. So, he just kind of assumes I overheard the conversation and got the meaning. What motivation would he or your parents-in-law have for keeping such a thing as a trip to the beach as a secret from you? Doesn't make any sense--unless we don't have all the info. here.

    Let it slide, girl, let it slide. :)
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  8. #8
    RileyC is offline Registered User
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    Jan 2011
    HK Island
    Agree with the others to let it go. Your child is very lucky to have family who can spend quality time with him/her.
    Posted via Mobile Device

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