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Is it me or is this nuts?

  1. #1
    Liquorice is offline Registered User
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    Is it me or is this nuts?

    Astounded by my pregnant helper's reasoning as to why she can't work any longer...

    1. Difficult to go up and down the stairs (reckons she could work in a one level apartment but not one with more than one floor)
    2. Difficult to bend to clean things
    3. Worried she might fall while she is cleaning (asked 'do you usually fall when you're cleaning?', answer 'no, but sometimes the bathroom floor is slippy)
    4. Will be hard enough to just look after my son as he gets more active, so would only be able to do that and no other chores (my son is 6 months old; not even close to crawling yet)
    5. Worried about being able to eat enough because she needs to eat very substantial meals and how can she cook these when she has to look after my child?

    My helper is only two months pregnant and she only works half days. I really am gobsmacked by her attitude, but I guess it must just be an excuse not to do the job, right? I explained to her that the work she is describing is what most pregnant women in the world have to do, plus often with a toddler or two, plus often work full time as well. Pregnancy is not an illness. Listening to her you would have thought she had something terminal...

  2. #2
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Maybe she wants to go on maternity leave indefinitely? If she pulled that sort of attitude with me, that's exactly what would happen.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  3. #3
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    has she presented you with a dr cert confirming pregnancy?

  4. #4
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    I'm sure that there are a certain number of weeks paid leave that they can get for maternity etc - but I definitely would not expect that you would need to pay her full pay for the duration of her pregnancy if she's not WORKING for you. I would be looking up exactly what she is entitled to and not giving her ANY more unless she appears to WANT to work for you. We're all mothers here and we KNOW that pregnancy can have it's ups and downs, but you're not completely incapacitated, at least not in MOST situations... and yes, get doctors notes for everything!!

  5. #5
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    is this her first pregnancy? she just sounds overly worried to me and not that she doesn't want her job. doctors note and give her what she is entitled - if she wants more than perhaps unpaid leave at her own discretion - she can decide for herself once you give her the options.

  6. #6
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
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    Liquorice, have her document and then sign her demands for reduced work explicitly. Then you could detail a letter as to what your expectations of her duties would include (as right of reply). Particularly as her demands are ridiculous, unable to go up a flight of stairs, do anything but mind one non crawling infant.......you have grounds to terminate her if she has no medical reason as to why she has been incapacitated. Pregnancy is not grounds for 11 months (9 months + 10 weeks of maternity leave) of paid leave. I think this must be made clear to her.

  7. #7
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    but you cannot legally fire a pregnant helper.

    you should contact the labour dept to make sure you know the rules/regulations/laws when dealing with a pregnant helper.

  8. #8
    Liquorice is offline Registered User
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    No, this isn't her first pregnancy.

    Also, I didn't explain properly in my first post that she has actually agreed to stop working for us; those are some of the reasons as to why she doesn't think she can continue to work.

    We hired a couple, who said they had no intention of getting pregnant, but did after only a few months. We told them that we will need to let him go (the husband), because I have stopped working now (unforeseen when we hired them) so much less money, we will also have to hire another helper to cover her maternity leave and I'm not paying for three helpers. The plan was to save the money we'd spend on his salary to cover the costs of a new helper (agency fees / flights / insurance etc.) plus whatever live-out arrangements we have over the maternity leave period.

    Anyway, she says she won't work without him so she will leave too.

    I cannot believe that she really believes those reasons she gives for not being able to work. As I said - pregnancy isn't an illness and she's hardly pregnant.

    My one concern is that she may argue to the labour department that she was forced to resign because she couldn't do a "two person job" on her own whilst pregnant. She does keep saying that we hired a couple. But it absolutely isn't a two person job. They are done with all of their work by lunchtime. We just hired a couple because we needed someone to walk the dogs while she was looking after my son while I was at work. I will do that now if she doesn't want to (I used to walk them in the mountains when I was 8 months pregnant, but I understand if she feels worried). So all we are asking of her is light chores and minding my baby sometimes. I need to find out what the rules are on that.

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