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What do you wish you'd known?

  1. #9
    taysty is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by thanka2 View Post
    Parenting (at least at first) is usually not like the image you get from the parenting magazines where everyone is smiling happily and mom has her hair done and has clean clothes on and looks fresh and put together. Parenting has the potential to crumble and humble a person--bringing them to their knees.
    Couldn't agree more with you thanka2. After my baby born, for the first 6 months I look like a mess. I think I still do now. LOL

  2. #10
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Oh...and on a funny/serious note...take some snapshots of your breasts (and possibly tummy) for posterity because they will never look the same after you go through pregnancy and breastfeeding (if that's your plan). Seriously, I read this on a pregnancy blog when I was early in my first pregnancy and kind of laughed at it but now, I wish I had--at least I could look back and say, "Oh, that's what they used to be like."
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  3. #11
    KeHK is offline Registered User
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    In addition to what all the others mentioned, you might want to look into your current health insurance to make sure it covers maternity. Depending on whether you want to go public or private, the pregnancy check-ups, scans, etc. as well as the birth itself can cost a lot of money and it's very difficult to estimate how much it will be in total, so it's definitely recommended to have insurance which covers most, if not all, of it. In my case, for instance, I went private and planned to have a "3-day natural birth" package, but instead I had a "5-day emergency caesarian section" package plus "after normal operating hour" surcharge and ended up paying A LOT more than what I expected. Luckily for me, my insurance paid for everything.

    Other than that, try not to worry too much and enjoy this incredible time in your life. Good luck!

  4. #12
    banane76 is offline Registered User
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    Thanka, love your last post...yup! Never the same. After my first, I didn't get stretch marks and now after number 2, they look pretty ugly, yes they fade, but yup, never the same. LOL...Enjoy everyday before the blue line appears. There are so many stressful moments after it appears. It's all worth it, but yes, so much to think about once baby starts growing in your belly. I'm just happy when I remember to wash my face and brush my teeth in the morning before everyone needs attention...lol

  5. #13
    AndreaSB is offline Registered User
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    A bit of a different response to the others on here.... I wish I had known how common miscarriages are. In my mind blue line=baby in eight months. But that wasn't the case in my first pregnancy and it came as a devastating shock. However, I then went on to learn that early miscarriages are extremely common (something like 1 in 5) and pretty much everyone I spoke to had had one or knew someone that did- something they had never shared until it happened to me. Hopefully it doesn't happen to you (or you might not even realise it did) but if it does, try to remember it's nature's way of only going ahead with healthy babies. And most importantly, remain close to your partner and maintain good communication between you- it's a very tough time but you'll get through it and you'll find yourself smiling over another blue line soon enough ;-)

  6. #14
    penguinsix is offline Registered User
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    I think the biggest 'shock' for us was the total and complete loss of 'flexible time'. The freedom to see a movie, read a book, or to go on a trip, or do anything 'on a whim' is significantly diminished once you have a child. Sure, if you add up all the time I have to read a book a day it could still be an hour or two, but it comes in 5-10-15 spurts spread across multiple hours a day. It's kind of like switching from a solid 8 hours of sleep to 8 hours of sleep with multiple interruptions throughout the night (something else I wasn't quite ready for either).

    This loss of flexible time has also caused our relationships with non-parenting couples to suffer somewhat. They cannot understand why we can't just meet them '45 minutes later than planned since they had something come up'. Or why we won't join them on a whim for some great Thai restaurant they just found. Time management becomes far more important when you have so much less of it.

  7. #15
    1sttime2011 is offline Registered User
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    Thank you all, you've given me a lot to think about. I have to admit as a naturally anxious person I'm not looking forward to all the extra worrying, but I'm sure it will be worth it :)
    Posted via Mobile Device

  8. #16
    megan2008 is offline Registered User
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    thanka2 summerized it beautifully! I think the only other things I can add is that you discuss with your husband what type of responsibilites you expect after the baby is born. Like: will your husband be available for breaks for you because the baby will need you much more initially; who will get up in the middle of the night; cook dinner; clean; etc. It is a lot of work and quite an adjustment but it is SO WORTH IT! When it got tough, what helped me was that I told myself "this is only a stage" and it got much better. I am quite a worrier too and got really anxious when I first got pregnant. Wondering if this is really what I want, am I going to be a good mother, what will the baby be like, can I really handle this? Now, I look at my daughter all the time and think about how lucky I am. Enjoy your opportunity to be apart of someone who will always look up to you and will have a special place in their heart for you.

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