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What do you wish you'd known?

  1. #17
    LOJITT is offline Registered User
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    - People will tell you not to wish away the first 6 mths as that's the best bit. This is not true. Babies are SO much easier and more interesting once they can entertain themselves a bit, even if their mobility means you need to watch them all the time.

    - With parenting, just do what works and don't get railroaded into following parenting philosophies wholesale. Don't make anyone make you feel bad about not attachment parenting or, at the other extreme, not following a routine to the letter. Most mums I know do bits of each as suit them best and what suits you will change as the baby changes. eg. When DS was tiny, it didn't suit me to have a routine as I wanted to be flexible about when I did things. Now he's older, I find a nap and meal routine is really helpful.

    - You cannot have too many muslin cloths

    - Prepare for the birth but don't stress about it. Whatever you do, don't get yourself into the state that some of my gf's did where if they didn't manage a drug free experience they'd "failed".

    - Dont go crazy and by every single thing in B2B. Small babies need very little. A couple of rattles and some onesies/sleeper suits. Do not spend a lot on newborn clothes. They will not be worn. The multipacks from Mothercare and M&S are the best as they wash well and are cheap.

    - Sling or pushchair? The answer is invariably both!

    HTH

  2. #18
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    the more you stress about it, the harder it becomes....

    be it:
    feeding
    birth
    pregnacy
    # of nappies
    what to buy
    what not to buy

    it applies to each and every situation, in my experience.

  3. #19
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    I agree with what Carang just said. Reading through this thread, there is SO much that I disagree with, in terms of what motherhood is like, what things are important, etc... everyone is so different. Don't stress about it all :)

    Personally, I think enjoy the stage of life that you are in NOW so that if/when you have kids, you have no regrets about "I wish I did xyz before having kids". Enjoy your husband and friends, enjoy your YOU time. When you have kids, everything gets stretched a little thinner and it can be harder to make time for those other things. Kids take up a LOT of time.

    I didn't find the transition to motherhood particularly difficult. I think for me, it was easier because I have a sister who is 16 years younger than me. I remember her infancy well! In fact when my daughter was born, I remember thinking "isn't it meant to be harder than this???" However that's not the norm. I was blessed with an easy child as well as realistic expectations. I know many women really struggle with the transition. BUT I don't think it's worth worrying about it TOO much because sometimes it's not THAT bad...

    I think it is always good to be prepared, but it is even better to be relaxed about it and to be able to take things in stride :) Enjoy your life as it is now, and if/when you have kids, enjoy them too - and everything else will work itself out :)

  4. #20
    TNT
    TNT is offline Banned
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    I'm with Nicole Joy. I don't have a much younger sibling like her but i did have realistic expectations that my life would change and it has. But for every negative there are multiple positives. I have two very easy going children but then both my husband and I don't get stressed too easily either. Enjoy what you have now and cherish the freedom but having children doesn't stop you doing things, although it may well take more planning, organisation and work it also opens up a whole new world.....

  5. #21
    TNT
    TNT is offline Banned
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    PS And Nicole I know you have had some major challenges to deal with as a parent and it's so fantastic to see your view even taking all that on board. Your girls are very lucky to have you as their mother

  6. #22
    charade is offline Registered User
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    I wish I had known it would all be fine, really. I had vaginal infections throughout my pregnancy and had to keep taking antibiotics which made it a miserable experience for me. Antiobiotics on top of morning sickness are a killer. And I was worried throughout that something untoward would happen but everything was fine. I was stressed about my weight, that the baby would be big, that gestational diabetes would set in - nothing happened and I even lost almost all that weight (40 pounds) in a month. When my baby was born, he had reflux and I drove myself and everyone crazy trying different dietary modifications which made no difference. As the very first doc I took him to told me - and I ended up seeing five pediatricians in two months - he grew out of it in 3 months and is fine. So yeah, resolve not to worry and stress... everything generally does turn out fine and babies are more resilient than we think.

  7. #23
    missidealiste is offline Registered User
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    I wish I had known to have hire a maid and train her at least 3 months before delivery. Especially when living in Hk, having a DH is affordable.

  8. #24
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    Hey Miss Idealiste -- Did you find your helper yet? We used Arrow Agency and are happy so far with their service.
    We started looking in April. Our helper arrived in late June. Our baby is due in late Aug / Sept -- so she arrived about 2 months before delivery.
    At first, we didn't know if we wanted to pay the extra 2 months salary -- but I agree with you now that it's worth it.
    She will have 2 months of easy work -- to get to know us and to learn our habits, which seem to be very different than her past employers' habits. I am slowly teaching her about our food preferences, etc. I doubt I'd have time to do that with a newborn.
    I've always been independent and have done my own housework. But it's great having an extra pair of hands around now that I am in late pregnancy. It's hard for me to do cleaning or carrying groceries.
    Where are you on this journey? I believe from past posts that you are pregnant now? How far along? Do you already have children?

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