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Potty training - how to cross the finishing line

  1. #9
    pixelelf is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    Aberdeen
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    213
    hi lisa88,

    i started out toilet training my son ard 28 months. and it was about the same reaction - NO! and begs for the nappy. he was perfectly able to communicate when he wants to do it, and what he wants to do - pee or poo. it took us 1 year for him to go to the toilet to pee. and only this week, to actually poop in the toilet. and we skipped the potty altogether. he hated it.

    he is also very strong willed. in our process of helping him, we found that his fears for letting his urine and poop out of his body are real. esp the poop. this is what we did:
    - we bribed him with candies if he agreed to use the toilet. it worked at first, then it backfired.

    - we tried different positions. squatting. sitting. standing. that was realli helpful. after a long time, we found out he wants to stand on the toilet seat to pee. and just this week, squatting helps him to be less stress for poop!

    - going to nursery helped with the pee part. cos everyone else WAS already trained. he had so many accidents in school. but the teachers were very patient.

    - in the day, he went diaperless. everywhere. and if he had an accident, i just clean him up and remind him to tell me next time before he needs to use the toilet.

    - i'd remind him after 1 hour or so of meal consumption, that he is in his undies, that if he needs to pee, we can use the toilet.

    - after he was ok with the peeing, we moved on with "higher stakes". we promised him that if he successfully use the toilet 5x, i will buy him a big boy's toy. because only big boys can handle it. he wanted a jedi suit, to play with his pal, 8 years old, who has daf vader costume. i told him, after he owns it, he has to forever use the toilet to be respected like a jedi. tsk tsk. that was a huge step for him. from begging for a nappy, he was agreeable to try sit on the toilet. it took him 2 weeks to overcome his fear. everytime he tries to ask for a nappy, i'd ask him, "are u sure? i can give u the nappy, but there will be no jedi to save the world." and then i show him pics of jedi on my phone. he'd agree to use the toilet :P for days nothing happened. finally, we figured it was squatting that is the best position!

    he is now almost 3.5 years old. his fears are real to him. i believed there's no need to force him. give him options and a way out. when he failed to overcome, and caved in for diaper, we reassured him, that we can work at it again next time. at least he did not feel like he was alone in this. the day he used the toilet successfully to poop, he squealed and asked me to call his papa to share the news! haha!

  2. #10
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    Dec 2008
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    South District
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    i've never actually used a potty but started with getting my daughter used to just "sitting" on the toilet seat (I did in fact buy a smaller circular one that fits on top of the actual toilet seat). started when she was 18mths. then would use books / now i-pad to distract her so you got comfortable with the toilet seat. i have never really rushed it, but she can now (35mths) she can successfully "pu" in the toilet bowl and when we sit her on it after she drinks / meal time, she can pee (though she cannot yet verbalize "pee") i think with potty training they have to be comfortable first and then when she started nursery, they take her so often, it kind of clicked. now i'm constantly asking her if she needs to pee / pu - with pu she's good with telling me, but pee don't so great - don't think she minds a wet nappy which is the problem - the pu is so much it actually "gets in the way" literally - to put it bluntly...sorry :( now - she's getting smart - once she wants to play the i-pad she says she wants to pee...of course though we make sure she has something to pee BEFORE we give the i-pad as a reward. anyhow, take it as it comes, we had carpeting in our old place so i didn't have a choice to go cold turkey on her, but at our new place now, no carpet, so i will try to remove the diaper completely - the diapers are not really all that wet now anyways so i think it shouldn't be too too difficult....am crossing my fingers! ;) good luck

  3. #11
    Suv
    Suv is offline Registered User
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    Jun 2008
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    Hong Kong
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    Hi All: I just potty trained my 2.7 yr old boy by this 3 day method- cold turkey! It took me 5 days because he was sick, but it worked!:) I am still super excited! He has been diaper free both day and night since. Ofcourse we have had accidents but just for the first week. The premise of this method is that once the child says bye bye to the diaper, it is literally bye bye. Not during a playdate, or school or at night!! I know, I was so stressed that first night. In it the lady says that the child has to be 22 months atleast. If you are working, you have to take the day off plus Saturday Sunday. They have to wear a top and an underwear- summer is perfect. For those 3 days, you have to stick to the child 24x3 to catch them in the act and run. You have to keep repeating and telling them to keep their underwear dry and praise them if they are. That they have to tell you that they want to go. This lady says NEVER to ask- do you want to go? because as any 2 yr old would- they simply say NO! Also, never to let a child sit more than they need to or want to on the potty as it can create power struggles and wrong associations. Effusive praises if they went (even just drops) were most important, and/or if you want to give them stars, mommy and me time, very small gifts

    First 2 days it was quite messy, crying, tantrums and I really thought this wasn't working until the 3rd day, breakthrough happened with potty and pee rest of the day. The next 2 days we tackled the night time accidents.

    Please feel free to PM me if you would like a copy(its a pdf file that was forwarded by a friend) since that has more details and scenarios that I can give you here.

  4. #12
    Anne1212 is offline Registered User
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    Aug 2009
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    Hong Kong
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    Hi suv, what u wrote sounded like a miracle! 5 days!! Could u share that notes with me pls? My son's 21 months and I'm getting him and myself prepared for this milestone~
    thanks, anne

  5. #13
    lisa88 is offline Registered User
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    May 2009
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    Singapore
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    Hi pixelelf and suv, thank you very much for the tips. Good encouragement. Suv, coincidentally I am also reading a very similar book on potty training. It emphasizes getting the child to understand wet/dry pants and states that it is the wrong focus to keep asking the child to use the potty/toilet. The book also gives examples of mothers successfully potty training within a few days (dry night and day!). I will think through a change of tactics with my toddler.

  6. #14
    happyflipper is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    hk
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    Hi Ladies (and dads if anyout there) ,

    I am having trouble getting my son to switch from his small potty to the small seat in the toilet. He has no problems using the big potty ( with us holding him when he needed to pooh) on a overseas trip recently. Thinking that we had it good, we hid the small potty when we got home and my son cried for 20 mins asking for the small potty when we kept insisting on him using the big potty, until we gave in. Now he still using his small potty and I need to try this weekend again on getting him to switch. His kindy has the small toilets so maybe he is not scared of falling in. But he seems to be quite scared of the big toilet even when we show him the little seat on top of the toilet. Shall I just wait until he is more ready or be more strong in refusing him the small potty? Pee is no problem in the toilet.
    Thanks!

  7. #15
    rosachan is offline Registered User
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    Dec 2008
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    Hong Kong
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    I am glad i am not alone in this...My son is nearing 2 years old and he knows to poo and pee in the toilet, ie he understands the concept and sometimes he would do it, ie tell us that he wants to poo or pee and we would take him to the toilet. We thought we are done potty training but now and again, he would say no to the toilet bowl or he would even say "oh I forgot" after he has soiled the nappy. What might anyone suggest? Should i remove his nappy completely whenever he is at home? I have read somewhere that I should (have) potty trained 100% and not whenever I / helper could get to it.

  8. #16
    gobgo is offline Registered User
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    Apr 2009
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    HK
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    Hi Suv, I can't find the pm botton, but could you please pm me a copy too? Thanks!

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