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View Poll Results: When were you ready for a baby ?

48. You may not vote on this poll
  • < 20

    1 2.08%
  • 21 - 25

    3 6.25%
  • 26 - 30

    11 22.92%
  • 31 - 35

    22 45.83%
  • 36 - 40

    4 8.33%
  • 41 +

    2 4.17%
  • Old enough !

    3 6.25%
  • Still deciding...

    2 4.17%
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How old were you when you were ready for a baby ?

  1. #9
    AmyH is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gold Coast

    When I was in my early 20s my husband and I discussed having children. I wanted 7 (Irish and from a large family!)and he wanted 1! I fell pregnant on my first when I was 24, he was born when I was 25. My husband and I were not actively trying but were not practicing prevention either! We were very happy and excited about it. My son was born premature (27 weeks) and from when he was about 1, I was sure we would definitely have more.

    My husband, on the other hand, was very happy with only 1 so we waited. Just after we moved to Hong Kong (my son was 4) we had a conversation about it and decided that we would not have any more as it would be difficult here without any family support etc but fate stepped in and I was already pregnant when we were having that conversation! My daughter was a very happy accident.

    She is now 2 and my son is 7 and I definitely know that I do not want any more but am very glad that we had a second.

    cuppatea likes this.

  2. #10
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009

    Some women go into motherhood linearly and some women go into motherhood in a more roundabout way. I never wanted to get married or have children. By the time I was 24 I was both. My first pregnancy was completely unplanned. I have moral objections to abortion but I felt so unprepared for motherhood that abortion did cross my mind a few times.

    But, I am learning more and more that life is better and more interesting when it doesn't go the way that I wanted or expected. My son is 4-years-old now and I also have a 6-month-old daughter. Like it or not, they are the focus of my life now. Even though, I'm a full-time employee outside the home, just as carang said, they put a kabosh on a lot of my selfishness. Now my time, energy and resources belong to them. I don't think anyone can really "be ready" to have children. Even the people who think they are ready probably aren't. It's a great unknown you dive into when you have children.

    As far as labor goes--this most recent labor was great for me! I prefer labor over the entire 10 months of pregnancy. I really don't enjoy being pregnant--what with all the weight gain, emotional roller coaster, swelling, aches, (morning sickness for those who have that long-term), itchy skin (I had it severely for four months this time), clothes not fitting, doctor appointments, blood draws, tests, exhaustion, cravings....yeah, if I could just skip all that and go through labor I would choose that every time! Labor was great for me--what a deep experience. Every time I think about it it warms my heart.

    If you aren't willing to forfeit (at least temporarily) your "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" lifestyle (that's what I call the type of way we lived before kids) then I would say having children might not be the best idea (if you have a choice in the matter) right now. That was one of the hardest adjustments for me, actually--to provide a good rhythm/routine that benefited our child and ourselves we had to become pretty "boring" pretty fast. But, our children are still young now so who knows how things will change in the future.

    But, I'm glad that I as "drafted" into motherhood early because as it is, I find that my energy isn't always high enough to keep up with my children. I can't imagine what it would be like for me to have my first child any later than when I did. I want to be a hands-on parent with enough energy to do that. Plus, it's great that both sets of grandparents are only in their early-mid 50s so they also have enough energy to really be involved in their grandchildrens' lives. My grandparents were not involved in my life growing up and I really feel like I missed out because of that.

    I also agree with nicolejoy that HK is the spot to have children and raise them while they're young if you want to have extra help. Hiring help is feasible and can make the adjustment to having children less shocking, I think.

    It just takes some soul-searching, I think. Consider what your husband/boyfriend/partner (not sure how you identified him) has to say but definitely make the choice for yourself because you will have to live with that choice and that child for the rest of the child's life. :)

    BTW, I'll be turning 29 this year.

    cuppatea likes this.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  3. #11
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung

    hmmm.... 29... i remember that.... i'll be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday next month.

    thanka2 and cuppatea like this.

  4. #12
    Junebugwhite is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Hong Kong

    I was 40 when my husband and I finally thought we wanted a child, we always thought we were not into being parents. It suddenly changed for both of us. I just had our first (and probably onlly because i am of ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE) child at 42. We just were not ready before, maybe selfishness, etc. Who knows, but I feel much better waiting until I was ready than feeling the pressure of the clock. Yes, we could have missed our chance by waiting so long...but we got lucky. 10 months of trying naturally and it happend.

    as72 likes this.

  5. #13
    ozmerc is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Hong Kong

    I got married when I was 26 and pregnant with the first at 27. I was definitely ready and it was the perfect time for me. I had time to be 'free' in my teens and early twenties, I had a good job but I had no specific career aspirations and I didn't find the corporate world particularly fulfilling. So I became a stay at home mum and I still had time up my sleeve to enjoy just having the one for a while before contemplating the second. I just had my second (and last) child. I'm not keen on another pregnancy and I have visions of paying 3x international school fees and driving a people mover. No thanks! I was probably about 3-4 years ahead of my friends back home - most seemed to hit the big 3-0 and then began popping out babies.

    Labour is such a minor consideration IMO. What comes after that is much, much harder!!

    thanka2 and beezeeoink like this.

  6. #14
    catan is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    hong kong

    I never wanted children, but when I married at 25, suddenly-- I wanted them bad. It was strange. We had difficulty conceiving, and I finally had my first one at 28. Wanting a child doesn't mean I was ready for one!

    thanka2 likes this.

  7. #15
    southside852 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008

    it wasn't so much my age which i went by, it was more of me wanting to enjoy my first few years of marriage with my husband - just us 2 together. I married at 27 and our first son was born when i was 30. we had an amazing 3 years of marriage together which then had us ready to begin the next chapter in our lives - starting a family and i just happened to be 30.

  8. #16
    keninhk is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2011

    A random guy's perpective.

    I married when I wanted to start a family, my wife didn't at the time. Then 3yrs ago, my wife changed her mind, but by then so had I. Just the way it was really. Happy to say that our 1st is now due in July and we are both ready, or think we are... :)

    32 yrs young this year!

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using GeoClicks Mobile

    beezeeoink likes this.

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