Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Like Tree6Likes

Rant: hubby cant watch baby for even half hour!

  1. #17
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    640
    I am very lucky in this respect cos my husband is very hands on. In fact all the men in their family are! My MIL thinks it's the men's job to change nappy etc :) whenever his brother visits from the States, we jokingly call him the man-ny.

    Think a lot has to do with how they are brought up, but doesn't mean they are not interested/cannot learn to be a more involved parent.

  2. #18
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    HK
    Posts
    1,623
    Quote Originally Posted by Obiwan View Post
    I am very lucky in this respect cos my husband is very hands on. In fact all the men in their family are! My MIL thinks it's the men's job to change nappy etc :) whenever his brother visits from the States, we jokingly call him the man-ny.

    Think a lot has to do with how they are brought up, but doesn't mean they are not interested/cannot learn to be a more involved parent.
    What a great family to be married into! My aunt had five children and her husband is a "man's man"--I mean he raised cattle and spent his entire day wrangling animals. He worked outside in the elements so much that his skin is very leathery now. He was in many ways from the older school of thought about gender roles. Probably could spit further and cuss louder than most men I know too! He he he! But, he was always the one to get up with the babies in the middle of the night, change their diapers and bring them to my aunt to breastfeed. He took a lot of initiative with his children and was just as hands-on with them as she was. So, I don't think that it can be said that it's "feminine" (as some might argue) to simply help out with one's own progeny.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  3. #19
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    640
    Absolutely not!! In fact I think it takes a man so confident of his masculinity to be comfortable doing the so perceived "feminine" tasks :)

    My dad is the opposite. He is a great father, but very traditional, so all the cooking, washing, child caring is left to the women.

  4. #20
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    HK
    Posts
    1,623
    Quote Originally Posted by Obiwan View Post
    Absolutely not!! In fact I think it takes a man so confident of his masculinity to be comfortable doing the so perceived "feminine" tasks :)

    My dad is the opposite. He is a great father, but very traditional, so all the cooking, washing, child caring is left to the women.
    I don't know if my dad could have been qualified as "traditional" or not but he probably fit into that category as well--but that's what was modeled for him and he never really "evolved" out of it. His parents came from "the old country" (first generation immigrants) and really the role of women was to "cook, clean and bear children."

    Apparently, right after they were married, my dad came home with some carcass of a bird or something he had hunted and kind of like threw we down on the table like, "Here, woman, clean and cook this thing." She kind of laughed in his face and told him that sort of action wasn't going to fly in this household and if he wanted to hunt it, he would have to deal with it. But, my mom did cook three meals a day from scratch for most of my growing up years and can vegetables in a hot kitchen for months with all of her pregnancies.

    When we would cry in the middle of the night to be fed or changed my dad would nudge my mom and then roll over and go to sleep. When my mom was in labor with me, she rolled over and was like, "It's time" and my dad just told her to hold off that he needed more sleep--I think she had to call my aunt to come get her and take her to the hospital. Yeah...real "winner" of a husband. I honestly, wouldn't have tolerated that sort of thing for as many years as my mom did--she has a heart of gold, I think. :)
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  5. #21
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    316
    I love my father dearly but now being a mother and wife myself I really do question his lack of contribution to the household. It's no wonder that my father was as happy as a lark on most days and my mom was tired and exhausted, and as a result snappish. All the grunt work had to be done by her and her alone. Sure in his generation that was how it was done, it was what he saw his peers and siblings do, but you have to think that if a man loves his wife (and if it was about childcare, loves his children), he would want to pitch in, irrespective of what the rest of the world was doing.
    And I agree, a man that helps around the house is extremely attractive and involvement in household chores and child rearing does not detract from their masculinity at all, in fact it adds to it, because when I see my hubby helping, it makes me feel warm all over, and think what a wonderful husband I have, and what a wonderful father my babies have.

  6. #22
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    640
    Yes, and I encourage that behavior but complimenting him, saying what a great father he is, how the children love their special daddy time :) so he is very motivated, in fact I think he is better than me in taking care of the kids!

  7. #23
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    316
    Obiwan, your husband and his family (and MIL) sound gorgeous!

    Thanka2, your uncle sounds like a little bit of a gem too. Salt of the earth type of fellow.

  8. #24
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    316
    Obiwan, probably explains why you are one content lady.

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. How does half half works with public hospitals and private clinics
    By sabasaqib in forum Hong Kong Pregnancy Forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-12-2011, 10:07 AM
  2. Travelling with 3 and a half month old baby
    By doe eyes in forum Baby Talk
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 04-21-2011, 02:21 PM
  3. Cupcakes for baby half year old birthday
    By taysty in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 03-21-2011, 10:31 AM
  4. Taking baby home and ditching Hubby
    By NewMommie in forum Hong Kong Pregnancy Forum
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-04-2009, 09:16 PM
  5. Does anyone else's baby sleep better when their hubby is on duty?
    By wanfamily in forum Sleep and your Baby
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-01-2008, 01:12 PM
Scroll to top