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misuse of baby changing room

  1. #17
    carang's Avatar
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    i would probably also forward a letter to the SCMP.... that might get something done.

  2. #18
    2010-NewDad is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post
    i would probably also forward a letter to the SCMP.... that might get something done.
    I am curious to know what actions you think could work in these circumstances - a guard outside the door?

  3. #19
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    to be honest, i don't know what would work. i've, personally never encountered the problem. i always fed when and where my kids were hungry. i never once used such a room. i also never had a single person point at me or stare. i was careful as to what clothing i wore and i never even used a shawl. i figured that would draw more attention to the fact that i was breastfeeding.

    maybe a key to get from customer service? but that would mean that there would have to be a customer service counter nearby.

  4. #20
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2010-NewDad View Post
    I know that would upset my wife and I suspect it would annoy lots of other women too - if they are quietly breastfeeding and some unknown stranger started banging on the door and hassling them when they are at a vulnerable time. Usage of these shared facilities is a privilege, not a right and if it is occupied then you should wait in line like everyone else instead of shouting and making a fuss.



    And now you're going to demand them to produce their baby so you can let them continue breastfeeding uninterrupted? I have to say I find this type of anti-social behaviour extremely rude.
    Okay, first, I don't think breastfeeding is a "vulnerable time" but that's just my opinion. Second, there is something called respect and I have yet to wait for a long time, knock on a door (not "bang" on a door as you implied) and find a shy, disheveled breastfeeding woman inside cringing. If I did encounter such a woman, I would apologize profusely for interrupting her as I know what it's like to feel disheveled and vulnerable sometimes (however, not while breastfeeding usually). Most of the time (99.999%) I just choose to breastfeed in public because, well, I don't live where the "fancy shmancy" breastfeeding rooms are at in HK (and that is completely fine by me). I've breastfed on moving MTR trains, a scary bus ride coming down from the Peak, ferries, trams, Cha Chan Tings, park benches...pretty much everywhere imaginable in HK. I'm not "demanding" anything that isn't intended for my use in the first place as a breastfeeding woman. And you imply that I'm shouting and causing a scene. Nope. Giving someone the "what for" can sometimes be little more than "the look."

    When I seek out a room like this it is for a very good and urgent reason. The couple of times I've knocked on the door as in, "Is there anyone still alive in there?" it has ALWAYS been someone with a bottle in hand or even just in there changing the baby's diaper (for 20 minutes?!) without feeding the baby at all. There's one thing to wait and then there's another thing to wait for 30-40 minutes while someone occupies the room who has no business holding it up. I have never encountered a breastfeeding woman in any of these rooms. Also, women like myself know how to appropriately approach other women in such a space. In the bathroom we might rap lightly on the door--it has happened to me many a time.

    And a few of the rooms are the types that have a larger waiting area for bottle fed babies and a changing area and then three or four private rooms for breastfeeding--all have grandmas in them feeding with bottles or helpers feeding with bottles. No need for privacy when you feed with a bottle, in my opinion. Inexcusable and very rude. Why do they keep doing that? Because everyone is just patiently waiting in line and no one ever says anything about it--very classic behavior in HK--suffer in silence while rude people just do whatever they want because they can.

    What is more anti-social? Sitting in a room intended primarily for breastfeeding women when you 1) don't need to breastfeed 2) or even don't have a baby at all with you (as with the couples using it for "private time") or trying to access such a room because 1) you do have a baby 2) you need to breastfeed that baby.

    I think you're reading way more into my post than was there. I think you imagine me to be some barbarian but of course, I'm not. I'm a breastfeeding woman who thinks that private breastfeeding stalls should be used only by breastfeeding women. I also think that handicapped stalls in bathroom should be used by handicapped people.
    Last edited by thanka2; 11-07-2011 at 11:52 AM.
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    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  5. #21
    2010-NewDad is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by thanka2 View Post
    Okay, first, I don't think breastfeeding is a "vulnerable time" but that's just my opinion.
    So why are there breastfeeding rooms then? Lots of women are shy about exposing their breasts in public, which is precisely why there are rooms provided in some places. You might not share that reticence - fine - but it's unbelievable to deny the fact some nursing mothers feel they are more vulnerable than when fully covered up.

    Quote Originally Posted by thanka2 View Post
    When I seek out a room like this it is for a very good and urgent reason.
    I am glad to know you think your reasons trump those of anyone else who may be using the room.

    Quote Originally Posted by thanka2 View Post
    What is more anti-social? Sitting in a room intended primarily for breastfeeding women when you 1) don't need to breastfeed 2) or even don't have a baby at all with you (as with the couples using it for "private time") or trying to access such a room because 1) you do have a baby 2) you need to breastfeed that baby.
    The point is you don't know who is in the room before you start "making a nuisance of yourself" - your words, not mine. Surely this is self-evident, I can't believe I needed to repeat it.

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