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Having an amnio test ruined my life

  1. #17
    charade is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabibunny View Post
    I agree with nicolejoy but struggle to see why anyone would want to keep a disabled child knowingly. It's a burden on society and somewhat of a selfish choice. There are already so many orphans and disabled individuals and starving children.
    Wow! By that logic noone should have children anymore since there are already 7 billion people on the planet. I think you missed the part where Nicolejoy said how much joy her daughter brings her.
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  2. #18
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    hmmm.... in another thread, thanka mentioned she was tired of being PC about some things.... i guess wasabibunny feels the same.

  3. #19
    jvn
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    I was going to say the same thing as Charade, that logic applies to all children. We shouldn't have any more until we've adopted all the orphaned or unwanted ones, disabled or not. I'm not even going to start on a list of all the disabled or 'imperfect' children who have gone on to contribute vast amounts to our society because I don't think an individuals worth should be based on some abstract judgement of what they have taken out of society verses what they have contributed. Yes, some children are more expensive and harder to raise, it does not make them less worthy members of our society.

    I remember discussing this with a pregnant friend before The Boy was born, that there is a test for DS but not for say autism, which in it's most extreme form I think I'd find more difficult to deal with because it makes emotional connections
    so hard. I have no experience with either condition so it's just speculation.

    I don't know how people find the strength to parent a child with a degenerative or terminal condition, this article had me in tears http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/op...ragon-mom.html
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  4. #20
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    wasabibunny is offline Registered User
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    I know my msg would provoke a lot of "omg I cannot believe you said that" posts. Having your own children I can understand. There is a lot of gratification to reproducing. And yes while there are exceptional disable people, mine was a personal judgement that "statistically" it is more of a burden on society to raise a disabled child and they are less likely to contribute. But that does not necessarily downplay a parent'a courage or love to raise that child. But, the joys and gratification of raising a disable child I would consider more selfish since those feelings most likely only benefits the parent and not society (statistically speaking). Of course there are exceptions. There are probably many that share my view but would not want to bring it up in polite company.

  5. #21
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    I should probably add that I am talking about severe disabilities that affects people's ability to function independently in the world.

  6. #22
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabibunny View Post
    I agree with nicolejoy but struggle to see why anyone would want to keep a disabled child knowingly. It's a burden on society and somewhat of a selfish choice. There are already so many orphans and disabled individuals and starving children.
    BECAUSE he/she is our child, and is a blessing, and not a burden.

    It is not the same having conceived and chose to abandon, vs opting to adopt right from the start.

    I am not saying it's an easy choice to continue with the pregnancy, and all the same respect to those who decide they cannot carry on with it, but that is not to say it is a no brainer why people wouldn't choose to terminate.

  7. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabibunny View Post
    I agree with nicolejoy but struggle to see why anyone would want to keep a disabled child knowingly. It's a burden on society and somewhat of a selfish choice. There are already so many orphans and disabled individuals and starving children.
    I think that this attitude is common amongst people who have little interaction with people with a disability. The truth is that disabled people and disabled children have so much to offer society - and the flip side is, there are many able-bodied people who are probably even more of a drain... people addicted to drugs or alcohol (which is in some ways just as "disabling" as a physical disability), people in countries such as Australia who choose not to work but just like on social security (I know many such people)... should they also not be allowed to live?

    I think that such attitudes towards people with disabilities can rapidly degenerate into eugenics and supremacy, the very same ideology that Hitler had when gassing millions of people (both disabled and able-bodied) in WW2. In fact, selective reproductive technology is often called "the new eugenics".

    I wish that everyone had the opportunity to interact with people with disabilities more frequently - those with both physical and cognitive disabilities. These people increase diversity amongst us and are some of the most valuable assets to our society.
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  8. #24
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabibunny View Post
    I know my msg would provoke a lot of "But, the joys and gratification of raising a disable child I would consider more selfish since those feelings most likely only benefits the parent and not society (statistically speaking). Of course there are exceptions.
    On the contrary, I think it is more selfless than selfish. It is an incredibly hard journey. I know of mothers who have children who became ill and disabled, I can tell you the amount of love I witness (parents, children, relatives, friends) is amazing and touching. The children are a true blessing and constantly remind us to be better people. In fact 2 of them I know are so talented that they have recently held an art exhibition that wad truely impressive. I, for one, do not view them as a burden to society. There are many ways one can be a burden, but in the case of a child, I don't think so. We don't choose our children, we should love them all alike.
    nicolejoy, carang, miran and 2 others like this.

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