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Having an amnio test ruined my life

  1. #65
    thundacatchergo is offline Registered User
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    children grow up to be adults. who will take care of the ones that needs assistance when you are no longer around?

  2. #66
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    my cousin with DS has a whole trust fund to do the "taking care of" job when his parents are gone....though he does have a sibling, their relationship is not so great because the "normal" brother didn't have a "normal" childhood and blames his older brother for it. perhaps a reflection of the parenting skill, or lack off, but all the more sad for both boys both involved.

  3. #67
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    I am astounded at the heartlessness of some of these responses.

    So all parents of disabled babies should abort because they may or may not end up being a burden to society 20, 30 years down the line?

    First of all, none of us can predict who will be a burden to society.
    You can be born severely disabled and turn into Stephen Hawking.
    You can be born perfectly healthy and turn into a criminal who gets a life sentence and costs tax-payers tons of money in prison costs.

    So what if some people need more help than others? A civilized society is one that takes care of its least fortunate. It's not like societies centuries ago, when lepers were left to die in colonies, and the elderly were told to kill themselves because they were no longer "useful."

    Surely, we live in more civilized times.

    To answer Wasabibunny's original question: Why do some parents decide to keep a disabled child?

    Because some parents look at a disabled child and a normal child and see two human beings.

    I am not religious or a "pro-lifer". But I knew I would feel wrong aborting the child kicking in my belly even if -- God forbid -- she was severely disabled. I would still see her as my beloved child, and it would be my right to do so.

    Some of the arguments above would make sense -- in a cold, logical way -- if we were discussing robots or farm animals -- if you could just "get rid of" elements that were not perfectly efficient and "useful." But these are human beings we're talking about.

    PS. Wasabitbunny -- I have no idea why you brought up rape victims. Of course they have a right to abort, the same way the parents of disabled fetuses have the right to abort, the way that anyone has to right to abort. Nobody is forcing mothers to have children they don't want to. People are just saying that parents have the equal right to keep a child, too, if they wish.
    As someone who once worked in a rape crisis center, I have NO IDEA why you would decide to pick on sexual assault victims here, unless your aim is to offend as many people as possible.
    Last edited by Gracey; 11-15-2011 at 03:50 PM.
    nicolejoy, miran, carang and 2 others like this.

  4. #68
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post
    i am sure that this is all true (i can only guess, as i have never been to holland). what i liked about the first piece was that eventually, you will grow to accept that you are in holland, and while it wasn't the trip to rome that you had planned and hoped for, it doesn't mean that it is all bad. there ARE good things about holland, too. it just might take a while to accept that rome is not in your future.
    Of course, and I do like the "Welcome to Holland" piece as well - but there is such a rawness and craziness in coming to accept that life had a different plan, the second piece captures that well. I find "Welcome to Holland" captures the end state, but "Amsterdam International" captures the journey to that end state.

    I always knew that things would be ok in the end, even if my baby hadn't survived, we would have lived through it and we would have lived after it. We would have grieved and then "healed" and gone on to still have wonderful times after it all. I personally didn't need to be reminded of that. But for me, during the journey, to have that reminder that other people were going through the same thing really helped in a way that "it will all be fine and dandy" didn't.

    I love both of my girls, and sometimes I still wish that we didn't have to worry about all the medical stuff. We're still in many ways learning about "Holland" or whatever you want to call it. Some days it still sucks. But most days, it's just our every day life, and all in all, it's a fantastic life :)
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  5. #69
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    stephen hawking was not born disabled. he has ALS. most people diagnosed with this terrifying disease (i have known two people with it) die within a year or two. somehow, stephen hawking has survived 40+ years with it.

    and a burden to society he is NOT. even though he cannot talk, feed himself, move or even go to the toilet.

  6. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post

    and a burden to society he is NOT. even though he cannot talk, feed himself, move or even go to the toilet.
    I don't think Gracey was saying he is a burden to society. Quite the contrary I think she was using him as an example how people with disabilities can be an invaluable asset to the rest of society.
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  7. #71
    carang's Avatar
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    oh, yes, i realise that... i was trying to highlight it to wasabibunny who thinks that anyone disabled is a burden. sorry if i wasn't clear. (i also wanted to highlight the fact that not all "disabled" people are born that way. ALS is a truly terrifying, horrible disease. one i would not wish on my worst enemy.)

  8. #72
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    wasabibunny is offline Registered User
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    Carang. I do not think everyone disabled is a burden. First I clarified I was talking about severe disability. Secondly I think people who exist and are disables in this world deserves social assistant and their rights protected. Maybe I am expecting too much for some to see the distinctions I am making. And I am tired of clarifying.

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