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Breasatfeeding: sensitive subject

  1. #1
    JL168 is offline Registered User
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    Breasatfeeding: sensitive subject

    I gave birth 7 weeks ago, and i have always planned on breastfeeding for as long as possible.
    Now, i don't know why but i always get a bit upset (maybe even insulted) when someone doubts it whether i produce enough milk or not. I don't know why, but y do people presume i don't have enough milk for the little one? Every time she starts crying, they immediately suggest to prepare formula even though i can feel i have milk to spare! Why don't (a lot of) people understand that i WANT to breastfeed? Is it because hong kong people more often give formula instead of nursing? People doubting me gives me a feeling of being an incapable mother!
    Just wanted to share my thoughts... :)

  2. #2
    AmyH is offline Registered User
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    I think it will depend who these "people" are. Is it family members or friends who are insisting that you prepare formula? If so, I would just explain to them that you are breastfeeding so no need to for any formula.
    I am not sure I understand your point about people not understanding that you want to breastfeed... again, is this family and friends, or strangers on the street? It is a very general statement to make about hong kong people not understanding "because they more often give formula" but you should never let anybody else's opinion make you doubt your ability as a mother, whether you chose to breast or bottle feed.

  3. #3
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    I hear you...i know it's hard but do try to just ignore these types of comments. I seriously believe that I didn't breastfeed my last kid for linger because everyone was telling me I didn't produce enough milk...and I ended up believing them. The more your feed, the more milk will be produced...don't worry about what they say...whomever they are....it's probably out of genuine concern, but at this point juts believe in yourself and what youre doing for the baby is best, whether it's breast or if you choose not to.

  4. #4
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    everyone wants what they think is best for the baby. if you want to breastfeed and baby is growing and producing enough nappies, then great! well done! forget what everyone else is saying.

    ignore the ignorant!

    you continue doing what you want and tell them that they can support you in your decision or get out. (that's what i'd do, anyway)... and if it's hubby, maybe he just doesn't know how the female body works. sit him down and explain it to him. explain to him, while you are at it, that he job now is to support you (just as your is to support him) in the raising of your child. that you two make the decisions, not his family, not his mother, not anyone else. you two, full stop. explain the benefits of breastfeeding and that you are trying to give your child the best possible start in life. he needs to get on board with this, until you both decide otherwise. perhaps he is only trying to help. he, obviously, cannot help breastfeed, but he can help prepare a bottle, so perhaps that is what he is trying to do? if this is the case, maybe pump extra milk and bottle feed one feed/day, so that daddy can help, too!

    also know this: if you decide that breastfeeding is not working out for you, either as a mother or as a family, you are NOT a bad mother if you decide to formula feed.

    whatever works for the family, is my motto.

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    lrpolo is offline Registered User
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    My mum always used to ask me that, and I always used to ignore her (she'd ask me right after I'd finish nursing the baby, so I didn't understand why she'd ask). Until the baby was about 10 months old she finally asked me how come I never answered her question! I had a massive go at her then, and then she never asked me again!

  6. #6
    meimeid is offline Registered User
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    Are these 'people' Chinese? Cause I also believe that Chinese people are a bit too hung up over food; the kind, the quantity, anything. E.g. when you have a wound don't eat beef or chicken. When you are pregnant don't have cold drinks or food. One of the first questions they ask when they meet someone is: have you eaten already?
    And when a baby cries the first question they ask is whether he's hungry. Just ignore, you know best as mum.

  7. #7
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    Gataloca is offline Registered User
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    My mom was like that. She used to say that I don't have enough milk, or that my milk was not good enough for the baby.

    I think it is probably because we are mostly formula fed when babies. For example, from what I heard, my mom only tried to breastfeed my oldest brother for few months, then she formula fed him. After that, she just formula fed my other brother, sister, and myself. So probably, on her mind, formula is the best. Also, our parents now always get boomed with all those commercials about formula on the TV and everywhere... you really hardly see any advertisement about the benefits of breastmilk anywhere than on MCHCs.

    So try to explain to your friends/parents/relatives... and if they don't get it, just ignore the ignorant!, as Cara said!

  8. #8
    JL168 is offline Registered User
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    Thx for the support! Yes, they're all Chinese ppl who doubt me. I do understand that's their way of thinking, but since im grown up in Europe, I have a total other mentality and view of things. I will keep on doing what I think is best for my girl! And I will do my best not to let them convince me otherwise. :)
    thanka2 likes this.

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