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Children sharing room with helper

  1. #1
    kit_kat is offline Registered User
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    Children sharing room with helper

    I'm a bit against the thought of my daughter, currently 15 months sharing her room with the helper. Although she's still young, I feel that she stills need her privacy. Also, it's not that I need someone to attend to her middle of the night as my daughter is a pretty good sleeper - sleeps throughout the night. What's your thoughts?

  2. #2
    burrcl is offline Registered User
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    Personally, I'm very against it. Not so much for the child's sake, but for the woman's sake, who I think needs her own privacy more. My friends that didn't have a helper's room have live out helpers instead. You have to think about what will that helper do once your daughter is put to bed (assuming she's going to bed much earlier than an adult would), as it's not as if she can sit in her room and read/watch tv etc.

  3. #3
    charade is offline Registered User
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    I don't think privacy is a big concern with a 15-month-old... if anything young children like to sleep in the same room as someone else, they feel comforted by the sound of breathing etc. It depends on what your long-term plan is - if you'd like to transition your child to her own room at some point, then some say the earlier it's done the easier it is. It also depends what you can afford. In Hong Kong, each member of a household having their own room is a luxury. And all over the world, children grow up sharing rooms and are fine. Having never had my own room growing up, I can say that I onyl really felt it during the tween and adolescent years onward.

    Agreed that it's better for the helper to have her own room as she would feel the need for privacy more. But again, how many in Hong Kong can afford that? I certainly can't. And having the helper live outside is illegal.
    miran likes this.

  4. #4
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    My daughter who is a year old now is kind of like a "nomad." She co-slept with my husband and I for probably the first six months. But, now she's sleeping in a portable cot as the crib her brother had is huge and we don't have an extra room for it. We plan to move my daughter in with her older brother in his room sleeping on a trundle bed when she's more physically able to maneuver around a room. For now, her cot his parked in our helper's room. Our helper seriously doesn't have a problem with it. She really loves our daughter. She has two boys of her own and always wanted a little girl so for her it has been fun to have little "princess" around. Also, my daughter is a great sleeper--she goes to bed about 9 pm and sleeps through the night. So, generally, she spends time with us and I breastfeed her and then when she's either asleep or nearly asleep we transfer her to the cot in the helper's room. However, our helper has the added advantage of having one full level of the house (living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom) to herself in the evening so privacy isn't really an issue--she has a lot of personal space. This is a temporary situation for us as within 6 months our daughter will be in the room with her big brother. It's not a "perfect" situation but it works for us and the helper sleeps well even though baby is in the same room with her.
    miran likes this.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  5. #5
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by burrcl View Post
    Personally, I'm very against it. Not so much for the child's sake, but for the woman's sake, who I think needs her own privacy more. My friends that didn't have a helper's room have live out helpers instead. You have to think about what will that helper do once your daughter is put to bed (assuming she's going to bed much earlier than an adult would), as it's not as if she can sit in her room and read/watch tv etc.
    Our helper doesn't have a TV in her room--in fact we have one TV in our entire house and we don't use it much--she might watch a few afternoon shows while folding laundry or something if she wants. When she has free time she likes to talk on the phone and she can walk around the house and do that--but as I said, she has one floor of the house completely to herself in the evenings and my daughter is "out cold" when she sleeps--so she doesn't wake up during the night.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  6. #6
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    I personally don't like the idea of my kids sharing a room with a helper - I agree that the helper needs her privacy. We are a family of 4 living in a 900 square foot, 3 bedroom (no helper's room) place and we have one room, my two daughters have one room and my helper has a bedroom to herself. The bedroom that our helper is in also has a bit of our storage, along with the ironing board etc. I know helpers who even have to share a BED with a young child and find that a bit weird, personally!!

    I do wish we could afford a bigger place, particularly one with a helper's room off the kitchen - but for now, we have to make the best with what we have. But for me, having the helper share a room with the kids is not even an option.

  7. #7
    kit_kat is offline Registered User
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    Yeah I do agree the helper need a space of her own too. She can always go to her room (also my kid's room) to have some "me" time after completing her chores. But as my daughter grows older, she may use her room more other than just sleeping. Eg. homework, play area, or we'll like to hangout in her room for bedtime stories. So I foresee more interference. Unfortunately, we can't afford to have a place with an extra room for the helper. Unless we move further for a bigger space and compromise on the commute time to work.

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