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Helper issues. help please

  1. #17
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by rani View Post
    That's just ridiculous! She's a grown woman and should be able to feed herself! Most families have stocked fridges and cupboards and helpers still complain they don't get enough food. They are responsible for the cooking and marketing. She should ensure she's cooking enough to feed the family and herself.
    You'd assume that they would and I'm pretty sure most people on this forum who hire a helper DO have stocked fridges and their helpers have access to food.

    But, there are definitely employers out there who have a lot of "off limits" for their helpers or like I posted before ration out food because they honestly don't really consider the helper equal to themselves with similar nutritional needs. It does happen.

    Hopefully not with people who post here, though! :)
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  2. #18
    charade is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by rani View Post
    That's just ridiculous! She's a grown woman and should be able to feed herself! Most families have stocked fridges and cupboards and helpers still complain they don't get enough food. They are responsible for the cooking and marketing. She should ensure she's cooking enough to feed the family and herself.
    My helper told us her previous employer used to give her 10$ to buy pork for the entire family and apportion her a small cube a day. She was really thin when she joined us, and now has a nice little tummy that all her friends laugh at.
    thanka2 likes this.

  3. #19
    HK2008 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by charade View Post
    My helper told us her previous employer used to give her 10$ to buy pork for the entire family and apportion her a small cube a day. She was really thin when she joined us, and now has a nice little tummy that all her friends laugh at.
    Or maybe the employer is in fact really poor? I mean the $10 meat is for the whole family, isn't it? If the helper can still get a small cube out of that, I'd say it's not bad, eh? Sorry for the sarcastic tone, but most times we need to hear both sides of the story to pass a judgment.

  4. #20
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
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    I agree with HK2008. I've seen one pretty messed up situation where the family had an elder who had had a stroke plus other illnesses and to go into a public nursing home would cost 6000 or something like that per month, as a consequence they decided to hire a helper to look after the grandfather (cheaper option) and live in their tiny flat as there is little by the way of another choice for the family. That or else turn him out brutally and hope social services does something for him. They were pretty poor and just getting by.
    I mean honestly, if the whole family has only $10 for pork and the helper gets some - then to be fair, that family must on some level be good. I'm sure faced with a similar situation most mothers and fathers would reduce their own inatke for their children and the helper would go without.

  5. #21
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymoo View Post
    I agree with HK2008. I've seen one pretty messed up situation where the family had an elder who had had a stroke plus other illnesses and to go into a public nursing home would cost 6000 or something like that per month, as a consequence they decided to hire a helper to look after the grandfather (cheaper option) and live in their tiny flat as there is little by the way of another choice for the family. That or else turn him out brutally and hope social services does something for him. They were pretty poor and just getting by.
    I mean honestly, if the whole family has only $10 for pork and the helper gets some - then to be fair, that family must on some level be good. I'm sure faced with a similar situation most mothers and fathers would reduce their own inatke for their children and the helper would go without.
    Doesn't make much sense to me to be hiring a helper if you're in such financial straits. There is a reason why immigration checks your income and bank account (of course it's not too difficult to make it look like you've got plenty of money in the bank, though) before they okay a foreign helper application.

    Well, $6,000/month for public nursing home versus $4,000/month PLUS food, housing (water, electricity, transportation) doesn't seem like much difference to me. The main difference is having the elderly person at home where he/she can experience more of a normal life surrounded by family members. If people are truly not able to afford to feed their helper and themselves decently better to apply for public assistance, in my opinion.
    shwetakhanna, elle and genkimom like this.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  6. #22
    charade is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by HK2008 View Post
    Or maybe the employer is in fact really poor? I mean the $10 meat is for the whole family, isn't it? If the helper can still get a small cube out of that, I'd say it's not bad, eh? Sorry for the sarcastic tone, but most times we need to hear both sides of the story to pass a judgment.
    If that is the case, then that doesn't detract from the fact that she was hungry, and not unreasonably so. My comment was in response to Rani's and meant to indicate that helpers do not always have control over what they eat at their employer's homes.

    In the case I cited, the family was not poor but just very... odd. I choose to believe my helper on this because I have known her for long enough to trust her to not lie outrageously, just as I tend to trust family members and close friends. Since you do not know my helper, it's fair enough for you to be skeptical.

    PS: Just wanted to clarify that none of this has any bearing to the original post.

  7. #23
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
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    Thanka2 I'm not saying that the job would be a great one for the helper at all, I'm just citing some mitigating reasons why if a family only has $10 for meat why the helper might not get any meat at all or be underfed like the rest of the family.

    The choice of nursing home or staying with the family is really no choice at all if you can't afford the nice nursing homes. The places are really, really, really atrocious. Don't think about these homes from a western standard - that would be luxe in HK.... Moreover, if it is a choice between 6000HKD and a complete dump of place vs 4000 + in the family home where you can oversee the care of your father/mother with helper back up for work hours then the choice is straight forward, well to me anyway but I do agree the situation would be pretty horrendous for the helper.

    anyway charade is right, this has nothing to do with the OP.

  8. #24
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymoo View Post
    Thanka2 I'm not saying that the job would be a great one for the helper at all, I'm just citing some mitigating reasons why if a family only has $10 for meat why the helper might not get any meat at all or be underfed like the rest of the family.

    The choice of nursing home or staying with the family is really no choice at all if you can't afford the nice nursing homes. The places are really, really, really atrocious. Don't think about these homes from a western standard - that would be luxe in HK.... Moreover, if it is a choice between 6000HKD and a complete dump of place vs 4000 + in the family home where you can oversee the care of your father/mother with helper back up for work hours then the choice is straight forward, well to me anyway but I do agree the situation would be pretty horrendous for the helper.

    anyway charade is right, this has nothing to do with the OP.
    Still does not justify bringing a stranger into the situation and lying to them (and immigration) by allowing them to believe they will be cared for just because your own family has a tough situation. If I was the helper I would get out as soon as I could but not all helpers are well-equipped to do so.

    Anyway, charade said her helper's previous employers were odd, not poor.

    I think the point is that we can't assume that helpers are all being treated well, fairly or even legally. And I think it's a human right's issue. But, in the case of the OP, she seems to have met the standard for fair and legal treatment of her helper.
    elle likes this.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

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