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What is wrong with people here?

  1. #9
    marie313 is offline Registered User
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    i think people here are getting better - certainly more people helped me during my second pregnancy than my first, or maybe i am just used to it now so don't expect as much?
    I normally revert to 'push chair rage' and ram people in the back of the legs! I know it is childish, but it makes me feel better!
    rebekah likes this.

  2. #10
    Newbie_hk is offline Registered User
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    I can feel your frustration JoyousBaby. We could get into a big cultural debate & this has been discussed numerous times on Geoexpat. People have argued it's not about culture, it's about basic manners & decency.

    When I first experienced that here, I would throw sarcastic remarks & give them dagger looks. But after more than a year here, what took me aback was that my husband told me that I was picking up these rude habits too! It happened when we were going out for a walk & I left him behind to open the door himself while struggling with the pram. I must admit that I got so frustrated opening doors for other people, waiting for people at the lift & saying good morning when people don't do the same. I got fed up and said to myself, to hell with this, I won't bother being nice at all. But as my husband rightly pointed out, we have a child who sees everything & as parents, we have to be conscious of what kind of example we show to them. I don't want to get all "Oprah-ish" but when I reverted back to opening doors & people say thank you, it certainly feels better than getting all worked up & annoyed at some rude random stranger.

    So can you do anything about what people do to you? Probably not. But you can make sure that your child or yourself do not get caught up (like I did) and keep up the manners that you were brought up with.

  3. #11
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Reminds me of this post. Scroll down to around the 7th post in the thread and you'll see some "business cards" I made and considered having printed. :)

    Yes, I think most mamas on this forum can relate to what you've experienced. I really feel for people who have to use a wheelchair or need special accessibility help to get in and out of vehicles or buildings. We've found with our second child that going sans the stroller/pram and just using the Ergo carrier has saved us a lot of stress. Sometimes that's not possible, though. It can be stressful and maddening, I think. So glad I'm not trekking into the city all that often anymore.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  4. #12
    hannahgoff is offline Registered User
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    I understand when you are trying to lift a stroller up some stair cases and nobody offer to help, it can be frustrating but instead of asking for help, some people would shout sarcastic comments around, I personally think that's pretty rude and a bit overdone. One time, I was waiting for the elevator in IFC to go down to the car park and I was with my three years old son, there is this western woman and her helper was pushing her baby in a stroller and I must have passed them to get in the elevator and hold the door open as I know how quickly the door in IFC elevator closes. She walked in slowly and said "thank you" to me. At the time, I actually said u r welcome automatically thought she was thanking me for holding the door open. It took me a second to realize her sarcastic tone. It made me felt very bad. I always help people with needs like giving a helping hand with lifting stroller etc. I think there was no need to make me feel that bad in that situation, I was in a hurry and didn't want the door to close. People who used to say sarcastic things to other people all the time need to consider other people's feeling too, otherwise you become one of the rude people yourself.
    Posted via Mobile Device

  5. #13
    Leta is offline Registered User
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    Hi, I have to say not all Chinese and/or all locals are so inconsiderate ;) I am a Singaporean Chinese and my hubby is a local, but we do not behave in such ways. I totally agree with Carang that it is how one individual is being brought up. Coz whether is it in Hong Kong or Singapore or UK or some other countries that I had travelled to, I had also experienced such inconsiderate act.

    On the other hand, I cannot deny that it is much of a society problem too in Hong Kong. People in Hong Kong in general are very "involved" in their own business; ie they mind their own business. So much so that we tend to be very unattentive to their surroundings or environment. And do you realize the locals are always walking super fast and rushing for some reasons.I think it's their lifestyle?!

    I know it is frustrating as I too face the same scenerios as all of you, such as pushing the stroller with one hand and the other hand trying to open the heaviest glass door of the mall without any help and sometimes with someone conveniently slip through. Or when i am out with my gal alone, most of the time I do not receive any help in carrying the stroller (with my gal in it) up the stairs. Imagine at tin hau or mongkok station where there is no lift available to get to the street level, the flight of stairs I have to climb is crazy..and ppl walking alongside will jus walk pass. Sometimes it is annoying to see a young man walking pass me without offering any help :( it is a put off! but after living here for so long, I just do not depend on anyone. However, I do have to agree with one of the mummies who mentioned and reminded that we should not let ourselves become n behave like them too.

    When I meet such frustrating scenarios, I will just tell myself maybe that guy has some reason/s for being so inconsiderate..Just to comfort myself and move on :)

  6. #14
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leta View Post
    And do you realize the locals are always walking super fast and rushing for some reasons.
    hmmm.... we must walk in different places! i find most locals walk EXTREMELY slowly! it drives me crazy! they also tend to walk 4-5 abreast instead of a couple together and more behind... they take up the entire walkway! LOL!

  7. #15
    canadianinhk is offline Registered User
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    Carang I totally agree. So slow and blocking the whole side walk!

    I do agree it is frustrating when people do not hold the door or squeeze through the door when I am struggling to open it and push the stroller through it but I have to say when people do help I make sure to thank them profusely in hopes that they will continue to help. Like other posters have mentioned I try not to let it get to me when people do not help or I turn into the nutty muttering woman and I really just don't like being that person :)

  8. #16
    Leta is offline Registered User
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    Haha Carang... My hubby walks super fast sometimes I have to slow him down esp when I am now expecting. Well in areas like train station platform, I always see ppl rushes for the train even though when the next train would come in the next 1 min... And when these ppl rush through, they tend to push ard or they would skip over my stroller.. So irritating.

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