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What is wrong with people here?

  1. #49
    Biggie is offline Registered User
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    I also sometimes gets help from people here, like when I was carrying baby and stroller up some stairs, getting off a bus etc. Most mini bus and taxi drivers are also quite patient with us. But again, I never "expect" help so when I get help it's a nice surprise. I believe that no one has any obligation to help you. And I usually avoid rush hours that helps too.
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  2. #50
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    I think Biggie said it best. HK is a big city, where there are huge crowds of people in a rush. It's not that they are out to be rude, but it's a fast-placed metropolis of 7 million.
    If you go around presuming or demanding that everyone is going to help you, you are bound to be disappointed.
    If you go around your business, and are pleased and appreciative when people DO help you, that makes life easier.
    If you arrive here with stereotypes about what "those locals" are like -- if you keeping reinforcing to yourself that everyone here is a rude awful person, then you will probably see the worst in people.

  3. #51
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    I think it depends a lot on where you live in Hong Kong. My parents-in-law live in Shau Kei Wan. It's a slower, more laid-back part of Hong Kong. One of my older Chinese co-workers told me that he considers it "old Hong Kong" and people are much more polite there than where we live in the Western New Territories. I have a friend who is moving from Tin Shui Wai to Tai Po and was really amazed at the difference in vibe and attitude between people in TSW and TP when they were house hunting. She felt that TP was a much more friendly place than TSW. So, there are definitely different feelings between communities in Hong Kong. I've run into a lot of dangerous taxi drivers in our area but when we get really good ones--ones that drive slowly and cautiously we always tip them generously and let them know the reason why. We want to encourage the behavior we want to see and we know that many of the taxi drivers serve the same area for a long time out here. I think that sometimes it's important to hold people to account for their behavior--especially those who are responsible for our safety (drivers) and I have reported dangerous drivers in the past.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  4. #52
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
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    I don't know. if I'm out and about on my own, then no, I don't expect special treatment, BUT I do think it is a sign of a progressive and compassionate society if people routinely help the aged, disabled or those struggling with children.....being a massive metropolis is no excuse for apathy.
    Gracey by your own account when you are out with hubby you encounter self fishiness but it bothers him but not you. The fact that you don't expect help and if it happens you're pleasantly surprised doesn't make the behavior right, you've just lowered your own expectations and so you don't get annoyed when people don't help. Still that does not make a person who sees another person struggling Either through not reaching out and helping or grasping an opportunity to push by them correct.
    Also I made the point that expats can sometimes display the same or worse behavior.
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  5. #53
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
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    I think also the majority of posters on this forum have found much to love about Hong Kong, irrespective of whatever stereotypes they arrived with, however the complete apathy of the people here towards the aged, disabled and people with children is not one of them. I think as a society we should EXPECT help for this group and not just think of it as a nice bonus when and if it happens.
    thanka2 likes this.

  6. #54
    Biggie is offline Registered User
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    Reading the last post I think some of this could be attributed to cultural difference. Lots of Chinese doesn't like to be "helped". You read stories about elderly who would rather pick cans and bottles than be on welfare. And I have seen old ladies refusing to accept help to carry or move things because they can do so themselves. Help is sometimes interpreted as "pity" by some people.
    Just another angle to consider...
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  7. #55
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggie View Post
    Reading the last post I think some of this could be attributed to cultural difference. Lots of Chinese doesn't like to be "helped". You read stories about elderly who would rather pick cans and bottles than be on welfare. And I have seen old ladies refusing to accept help to carry or move things because they can do so themselves. Help is sometimes interpreted as "pity" by some people.
    Just another angle to consider...
    Posted via Mobile Device
    I really don't think that those people who are walking with canes or using wheelchairs mind if people just let them get on the lift in front of them. I don't think it's a matter of "I don't want people to take pity on me." Because the lift is designed for their use first and foremost and others' second. I've rarely seen a person (any person, old, young, pregnant, disabled, able-bodied) put up too much of a fight when offered a seat on the MTR--some of the older people will refuse but usually it's because they're getting off at the next stop. They might "fake refuse" to be polite if you insist a little bit they will certainly sit down with a smile. Everyone likes to be catered for--especially those who really should be catered for. Why else would there be courtesy seats marked in bright red with a yellow smiley-face on the MTR? Common courtesy is not "charity"--in the same way that we know to say "dou jie" or "mmgoy" in the right circumstances we should also know how to treat those around us.
    shwetakhanna likes this.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

  8. #56
    JoyousBaby is offline Registered User
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    Yes agree with thanka.. Just the other day I was at the elevator there was this old man in his wheelchair with a helper and a lady with pram, with whole family in toll.. After looking at that I was expecting to take the 2nd or 3rd lift. When the elevator arrived, the lady n whole family rushed in and poor old man n his helper stood there helplessly. I looked at my husband in disbelief.
    There came another family of 4 and was telling myself if these people gonna rush thru us n that old man I'm going to tell them off. The moment elevator arrived my husband rushed to the door n quickly waved to the helper to get the old man in and while he was doing that I used the pram to block the crowd from rushing in.
    I feel disgusted, why do we need to even fight over elevators? told my husband, in order to stay happy I rather stay indoor he says I'm just being exaggerating!
    In fact I'm happy with everything just not people so insensitive.

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