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5 Weeks preggers and hubby not excited...

  1. #9
    elle is offline Registered User
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    FishMama, I think that I may have been a little too negative with my first post, which I think is about the worst case scenario for a normal guy. Tasha and New Dad's experiences are what everyone told me would happen and with most of my friends with kids they have described what did happen. I must admit that I am jealous of all the doting fathers that I see out with their toddlers on weekends. But, fortunately he is coming around, albeit slowly. Agree with Carang that something does need to change (and it is slowly, which gives me hope) and for now some improvement is better than the alternative of me leaving with the child (which is and always has been an option, but I hope and pray that it won't come to that as I don't really see that making things better for her in the long run).
    miran likes this.

  2. #10
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    dressuphk is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by FishMama View Post
    Hi all, we've just discovered that I'm 5 weeks pregnant - with our first. It was somewhat planned, but my hubby just doesn't seam excited. He's always been honest with me and said that he may not actually ever want kids, and I've always been honest in that I really want kids. So he's being supportive etc, but has anyone else had the same thing with their OH. A lot of friends say when baby actually arrives he will feel different, but what if he doesn't?....
    I think this has to do with mentality... I am 7 weeks pregnant but I am completely not excited about my pregnancy :( I mean this is an accident I am only 25... So mentally I feel really strange as everything will change now ( I was looking forward to have BB etc. before but when things happen I just finally felt the terror)

    So from my view, I can understand your hubby's feeling - he is probably shock or sth.. My hubby is very supportive and try to get me involve in my pregnancy(I know it sounds really weird) and now I am actually feeling more comfortable and more involved now. I think getting him to read some books about expecting father (I think sb. has mentioned already) and I think ask your hubby to go to the OB together with you helps a lot (my hubby got so completely excited when he heard the embryo's heart beat yesterday).

    Indeed I wasn't excited about being pregnant, but when I saw the embryo yesterday in my belly and heart beating, my heart just melt... Well, I think your hubby will soon get on his role with the right mood.
    mummy mummy hooohooo

  3. #11
    FishMama is offline Registered User
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    Elle, you have no need to apologise, I'm sorry your in the worst case scenario, but I guess I need to know. I hope that things continue to improve withi your hubby and girl.

  4. #12
    FishMama is offline Registered User
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    Thanks all, I'm sure he'll come round. I had my first OBGYN yesterday and he was interested in the science stuff and technical things, so I think he'll get better when he can see things, and feel things.

  5. #13
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    erina320 is offline Registered User
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    Holy moly Elle!

    ... I'm speechless. For me that would be serious grounds for a permanent separation! I can understand a guys inability to express excitement, lack of enthusiasm and maybe not really wanting kids, but to be so utterly selfish and unsupportive as to leave after the baby is born!

    Men are so over rated!!

  6. #14
    baby09 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by FishMama View Post
    Thanks all, I'm sure he'll come round. I had my first OBGYN yesterday and he was interested in the science stuff and technical things, so I think he'll get better when he can see things, and feel things.
    i had the same experience. DH already had 3 kids from a previous marriage but always stated he didnt mind if i wanted a baby but when i told him i was 4 wks pregnant ...... complete silence for 10mins and totally expressionless face. i was really hurt by his reaction but now my baby is 2 half yrs old and the apple of his daddy's eyes - he even told me he can not imagine how boring our lives would have been without our daughter - Our lives now revolve around our daughter and my DH loves bringing her out on day trips and playing hide and seek with her - so dont despair - his heart will melt once he sees the baby - they all do!
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  7. #15
    baby09 is offline Registered User
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    same here. my husband never went to a prenatal class with me nor shopping for baby stuff. when she was born he refused to stay in the birthing room (he's scared of blood) Anyway when baby was born, he never fed, changed a diaper or bathed my baby and she is now 3yr old. He does not even know which milk powder she drank or even where it is! - It doesnt mean he is a bad father, just he thinks this is a woman's job - he keeps saying his responsibility is to bring in the money to pay for the milk powder! - fair enough - so really it depends on how involved you want him to be and how involved HE wants to be - which is 2 separate thing! Sometimes i really envy my friends with husbands who were at their beck and call when they were pregnant and who husbands were reading books and getting involved in the pregnancy - most of the time i was by myself.

  8. #16
    Gemma is offline Registered User
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    My husband is a fantastic dad and whilst he couldnt really feel the bonding as i did when i was carrying our little one, he was really into the "transport" side of things. He's into cars himself (a men thing I guess) and did loads of research into prams, car seats and baby carriers. If your husband is into that sort of thing perhaps yu can see if he is interested in that? perhaps you

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