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When can a kid go to bathroom himself?

  1. #17
    carang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evgreen View Post
    I don't know why, I just found this whole thread really humorous.

    Teaching your child to scream loudly "I DON'T KNOW THIS PERSON!!!" in public when inappropriately touched or grabbed by strangers is a good lesson to teach. My mother taught me this at a very young age. I suppose when you feel confident that your child can carry this out, I'd feel comfortable about letting them go the bathroom in public alone. Maybe that's just me.
    funny true story:

    when i was 11 my aunt had twins (fraternal boy/girl). i used to go to visit them every summer and help out with the kids. when the kids were about 3-4 years old, they would watch a tv show with me called THE FACTS OF LIFE. in it there was a tom-boy, motorcycle driving character named Jo (short for Joanne, i think)... anyway, my male cousin LOVED this character!

    so, one day, i took my cousins to the shopping centre. while there, said cousin desperately needed to go to the toilet. i dutifully took him into the women's restroom. but once inside, he wouldn't go into the stall... i would say, "come on, XY. Come in here so you can go wee!"....."no, my name is not XY... it's JO! stop calling me XY!" "get in here, XY... come on, you will go wee in your pants!" " I'm JO! I'm JO! I'm JO!"

    i'm sure people thought i was doing something horrible to him! perhaps even kidnapped him... funny story now, but at the time i was truly frightened someone would call the cops because i had kidnapped a kid named JO and was trying to do stuff in the public bathroom!....
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    matemate is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honkyblues View Post
    His chance of defending himself against a molester is much less than a bigger-built (say) 8-year-old who might know to scream blue murder, give the offender a kick in the shins and dash for the door. (...) But I know that my little boy is in no position to recognize an uncomfortable - or worse - dangerous situation, let alone extricate himself from it. And I'll keep trying to teach him about what to do if a stranger/teacher/relative/friend touches him in a way that is inappropriate. But right now, the concept of 'danger' is a new one to him and he is not ready to deal with such situations.
    have you seen the show world's worst mom? above kind of reminds me...

    here's another link for your health: freerangekids.wordpress.com

  3. #19
    Honkyblues is offline Registered User
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    I'm sorry Matemate... I seem to be missing your point. Are you suggesting I'm the "world's worst mom"? Would you like to explain yourself further?

  4. #20
    matemate is offline Registered User
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    no, that's not what i am suggesting, but have a look at the show (NowTV channel 214, i think) and you will see that they talk exactly about cases like you describe (the title of the show is just to make it sound dramatic and to attract viewers)

  5. #21
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    My son was about 2-years-old when he was physically able to go to the toilette by himself with a bit of assistance with pulling up his trousers. By the time he was 3-years-old he could go and pull up his trousers by himself. He's 4 1/2-years-old now and we go with him to the toilette. Usually women's restrooms have stalls--it's not like the child is able to take a peek at other women doing their business. Maybe it's a bit different with the urinal situation in the men's bathroom. Not that the child would particularly know or care what's going on except for general curiosity. It might be that other people might feel uncomfortable--but then again, in HK who even cares? People are too busy doing their business and getting out of the restroom in my experience. It might be different in a different country. I don't see many women actually undressing in the common area of restrooms in Hong Kong. Changing rooms in Hong Kong also have dressing stalls and my experience is that most women are definitely more comfortable using the dressings stalls--I think the exceptions I usually notice are foreign women (like me--I don't care--don't need to change in the stalls) and older women (we're talking 70-80+-years-old here) and they probably don't really care that much who sees them or they would be changing in the dressing rooms. My son goes to the women's bathroom and changes with me at the swimming pool if it's just me taking him. If dadda also comes along he'll go with dadda usually. Obviously, at 4-years-old he has no special interest in bodies of the opposite gender--he also showers with both dadda and mama and is around when his baby sister is having her diaper changed. Bodies are just bodies and have no particular meaning to him at this age.

    I don't have a specific age in mind where I think my son would stop going to the restroom with me but I think it would probably be around the time when I feel comfortable letting him ride the MTR/bus etc. by himself. If I think he has the maturity to handle himself and stay safe in the restroom, no need to accompany him. I'm guessing that for us this might fall right around when he's a P3-P4 students so I guess around 8-10-years-old. It just depends on his own maturity and how my "gut feeling" leads me. It would also depend on the setting.
    shwetakhanna likes this.
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  6. #22
    TheQuasimother is offline Registered User
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    In general, I'd rather supervise my 6 year old as although it is not commonly reported. Perving and unwanted touching is more common in HK and a lot goes unreported. I have to deal with such cases at least once a term. It happens when you least expect it and in the most unexpected circumstance. So I'd rather be safe than sorry so my 6 year old goes to the toilet with me or we use the child friendly cubicle if not the handicap cubicle (if someone makes a fuss).
    Honkyblues likes this.
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  7. #23
    rani's Avatar
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    Did anyone read the the SCMP on Tuesday about 5 expat boys (7-12age) who were indecently assaulted in DB?

    From SCMP

    Three men were arrested yesterday over an alleged indecent assault on five expatriate boys playing near a building site at Discovery Bay on Lantau Island.

    A police source said the boys, aged between seven and 12, were alleged to have been touched indecently by the men on Saturday.
    Founder of GeoBaby.Com

  8. #24
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by rani View Post
    Did anyone read the the SCMP on Tuesday about 5 expat boys (7-12age) who were indecently assaulted in DB?

    From SCMP

    Three men were arrested yesterday over an alleged indecent assault on five expatriate boys playing near a building site at Discovery Bay on Lantau Island.

    A police source said the boys, aged between seven and 12, were alleged to have been touched indecently by the men on Saturday.
    I didn't see that article. But another issue is not really grown men at all but teen or even older primary-school aged boys. This past week at the school I work at, a mid-primary students exposed himself to a classroom full of little girls. This sort of thing with inappropriate touching and things of that nature actually happens A LOT in schools in HK. As you can imagine, it doesn't make the evening news either.
    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

    Mother of Two
    JMW, boy, born November 29, 2007, 9:43 pm, USA
    MJW, girl, born March 17, 2011, 4:14 pm, HK

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