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When can a kid go to bathroom himself?

  1. #25
    howardcoombs is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by thanka2 View Post
    This sort of thing with inappropriate touching and things of that nature actually happens A LOT in schools in HK. As you can imagine, it doesn't make the evening news either.
    This sort of thing happens A LOT everywhere around the world. There is nothing particularly special about Hong Kong in this regard. I dont think it makes evening news anywhere as its a fairly common and minor issue.

    This kind of thing is generally looked upon in the same light as sexting and playing doctor(between consenting kids).
    Of course there are some people that blow such things out of proportion and most of them seemed to be concentrated in USA.
    This is just one, there are many like this if you search around:
    http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.co...ng-doctor.html

  2. #26
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by matemate View Post
    no, that's not what i am suggesting, but have a look at the show (NowTV channel 214, i think) and you will see that they talk exactly about cases like you describe (the title of the show is just to make it sound dramatic and to attract viewers)
    I've seen that show. It's kind of annoying. The parents on the show are "serious cases." Won't let their teenagers use a knife for fear of cutting themselves...children in upper primary school not allowed to go down the block by themselves unless they are almost holding the hand of one of their parents, children not allowed to go to friends' homes or ride in any other cars, children not allowed to take the bus even in their teens and parents who are quite OCD in almost every area of their life. There is really no overlap with general precautions for one's children considering what is age-appropriate. The people on that show are trying to keep their children toddlers indefinitely--it borders on mental illness.
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  3. #27
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    i've watched that show, too... the parents on that show are in serious need for psychiatrists.... they aren't being careful. they are ruining their children's lives, destroying their self-esteem and eroding any little shred of confidence their children had.
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  4. #28
    howardcoombs is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post
    i've watched that show, too... the parents on that show are in serious need for psychiatrists.... they aren't being careful. they are ruining their children's lives, destroying their self-esteem and eroding any little shred of confidence their children had.
    You are definitely right, they need professional help but where do you draw the line? When does it become too much and who decides?
    Why is it OK for a parent to take an 8 year old to pee and its not OK for 10 or 12 or 14 ?

    an earlier quote from you:
    what mothers are concerned about are the 'what-ifs?' i think EVERY mother shares the same concerns and to diminish them by saying "where did the molester come from?" and that we are inventing the possible scenarios... YES, we ARE inventing the possible scenarios!
    Isnt this exactly what *they* are doing? At what point does it become a problem?

    My definition of a problem : When a parent puts the improbable on top of their list of fears

  5. #29
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    have you seen the show in question?

    as for drawing a line... there is no hard and fast rule, hence people coming on here to ask what other people do.
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  6. #30
    howardcoombs is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post
    have you seen the show in question?
    Yes, ofcourse. I've been a fan of Lenore for years.
    I wish more people here would read her columns.

  7. #31
    shwetakhanna is offline Registered User
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    Our 4 yr old daughter sometimes has to got to the washroom with Daddy in the mall. Generally he prefers to take her to the handicapped one if available, but sometimes this is not possible. A few days back she tried to stand and pee, as she had observed in the men's washroom. We were both shocked to see this , but later we just could not stop laughing. But then again, we would still not send her alone to the washroom just for this reason that she might be curious to see what's happening in the men's washroom. The safety of our child is our first concern, and we don't mind if anyone thinks we are being over protective, but then that's how most parents are.
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  8. #32
    TheQuasimother is offline Registered User
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    There are many of us who do not make a decision on 'What If's alone. I hate it when people come in an insinuate that women are irrational and make irrational decisions based on hype.

    This is an example of how I, as a mum. would make my decision.

    Last year:

    (1) Circulated amongst Mothersgroup - Watch out for the 'Yellow Backpack' man who regularly hangs out at Repulse Bay cafes. He has a newspaper on his lap and making gestures inappropriate under the newspaper as he watches children.

    Personal Experiences from 2006 in HK
    (1) 2006 - Tsuen Wan, outside the lifts for the EDB office, with school going children, a man watches the children while he burns the breasts of women in a soft porn magazine he had. Done openly in front of us. No fear.

    (2) 2010 - While at Repulse Bay Beach, a man hid in the change room, to peer overhead to the cubicle next door at my friend who was changing out of the swimmers. When she yelled, no one came to her rescue. The guards were told and they shrugged it off and said that it happens regularly.

    (3) 2011 - My colleague, the most decently dressed girl, caught a man using his camera filming her 'upskirt' getting on the bus.

    ALL not reported in the media. AND, ALL not expected experiences in HK. I did what any rational PERSON would do. I also DO NOT WORK in an office and amongst the grassroots where I see a LOT of parents and children having to deal with psychological disorders. The fact that it is brushed off as common in HK, I'd better to be safe than sorry.

    Irrational, no I am not. Cautious. YES! Most of us here I think are simply sensible parents. And will make our decisions based on each child's maturity and street saviness. NOT on paranoia and What Ifs. Just basic sensibility.
    “If you want to get to the castle, you’ve got to swim the moat.” Richard Jenkins in Eat Pray Love

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