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My baby can only nap in my arms

  1. #17
    charade is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by MommyTo3 View Post
    Learning to fall and stay asleep is learned behavior. And one of the greatest gift you can give your child is sleep. Well rested children are soooooo much easier.
    Hmmm. So are you saying that half the world (or more) who do not follow the method you did and do have the time or sufficient help to rock their children to sleep are depriving their children of some great gift or that their children are bad sleepers/do not get enough rest?

    I fully agree that is many countries where there is no help, parents have no choice. I also agree that even in places where there is help parents might still want to try sleep training because it suits them and the child takes to it fairly easily. I do not agree that not trying and following through with this method is depriving your child developmentally of something which the above statements seem to suggest.

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    charade is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post
    sorry, my phone cut me off mid-posting....

    i just find it astounding that men today can still get away with not helping out with the baby.
    Cara, I agree that there are many men who still see the baby as the wife's responsibility, and brook no discussion on the issue. But in some cases, it is a negotiated one. Like one parent might have longer working hours and the other parent feels he/she can cope with the night shifts. If the mum is breastfeeding then she has to wake up anyway, which is one of the things that makes breastfeeding so hard, you can't share those night shifts. One parent might be the type that needs more sleep - that's me...my husband can routinely wake up at 5 am or even 4.30 and not be exhausted; I need 10 hours. It also depends on the balance of work in the house. I do a little more baby stuff than my husband because he does way more other stuff (cooking, chores etc.) around the house than I do.

    My husband did a huge amount of work with my first baby; I would not have it any other way because frankly I am physically incapable of shouldering so much work. For my second baby, my husband is a bit more hands off. His opinion is that we have hired a second helper to help out with the slog stuff and he wants to only do the fun stuff with our girl. It annoyed me I could see that in terms of division of work, he wasn't being unfair. That said, even his hands off version, seems more hands on than some of the dads in my family. My brothers-in-law (one an American, one Indian) are so much less involved in the hard work part and I would find that intolerable. But my sister and sister-in-law say that although they would like their husbands to step up, it isn't a dealbreaker in their marriages... they have physically more stamina than me though, which is maybe why they can take this position.

    What I'm trying to say is that what seems to be a cliched paradigm might actually be a thought-out one that works fairly (or balances out somewhat) for both parents.

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