- 06-27-2012, 02:13 PM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2007
For anyone interested in a platform for milksharing, please see https://www.facebook.com/HM4HBHongKong
- 06-27-2012, 02:16 PM #10
i wasn't being sarcastic or judgemental.
i was asking a serious question.
the entire point of my original post is that there should not be any judgement, if she has to use formula, if she continues breastfeeding or if she decides to share milk.
- 06-27-2012, 03:29 PM #11
Some women will request (and pay for) milk donors to have similar blood tests to what they would need if they were donating to a milk bank. Others take the point of view that "if you are feeding that milk to your own child, then obviously you don't have any of those scary infections that would have showed up in prenatal testing anyway". Others may not worry about it at all.
While I personally would donate milk, I am not sure that I would accept milk from someone else, possibly unless it was a very close friend. I do understand the reasons why a woman WOULD want to though, and I respect that. That said, formula is generally safe and healthy - although I would never buy Chinese formula after that melamine scare a couple of years ago!!
- 06-28-2012, 06:59 PM #12Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Hong Kong
As Koan said, it's about informed choice.
The original poster has chosen the option she's most comfortable with, so why not support her in that choice, rather than imposing our own or turning it into a debate?
It is entirely inappropriate to tell a mother what she "should" do. Instead, provide all available options, information, risks (including the risks of formula which are not insignificant) and give her the power to choose for herself, no judgement..
Good luck rnhi, I wish you all the best with your little one :)
- 06-28-2012, 07:39 PM #13
i never said that she SHOULDN'T... only that she shouldn't feel like less of a mother if she has to resort to using formula!
i was NOT being judgemental. i was trying to point out that sometimes women are made to feel guilty over their choices, whatever they are.
my questions were serious inquiries, not judgements.
i truly wanted to know that if there wasn't a milk bank here, then how would one ascertain the safe-ness of using someone else's milk? that is NOT being judgemental. that is asking a relevant, important question! informed choice? ok... but how do you make an informed choice if you are shot to flames for asking the question?
- 06-28-2012, 08:57 PM #14Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Hong Kong
Wow Carang some strong use of capitals there. My post was not aimed at you, I hadn't even read all your posts until now, so not sure why it struck a nerve with such a dramatic reply. If you read the earlier responses you'll notice a number of "shoulds". The mother has simply asked for breastmilk donations and her whole thread was hijacked.
On a side note, I know of no one here whose goal it is to "make" someone feel guilty. Aside from the fact we are all responsible for our own choices and feelings, what benefit is it to any one of us here to have someone we don't even know feel guilty? Doesn't make sense.
To the original poster (or anyone else who may be interested), I'm happy to post some info or PM it if you like.
All the best with whatever you decide, surely a challenging situation having a tiny preemie.
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- 06-28-2012, 09:18 PM #15Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- HK midlevels west
While I appreciate all viewpoints and concerns raised and see them coming from best intentions, my post was meant for the benefit of my baby, not to open a whole can of worms. Everyone has different opinions on lots of things when it comes to raising our kids. I am an informed, well-researched, prepared-for-proper-handling Mama who just needs to reach out to those other Mamas who are "healthy, willing, and able" to help with their extra pumped breastmilk.
Just to clarify (since I hope the questions come from a point of concern not criticism) I have resorted to formula, not starving the baby, but I don't feel she is thriving on the formula as I'd hope. Apart from the obvious advantages of breastmilk, there are family diseases that BMilk would help guard against, amongst other reasons for preferring it. Ultimately, I ask for donated milk not out of guilt, but because this can be a great, healthy option for those willing to do the work for baby's welfare.
- 06-28-2012, 09:24 PM #16
good, i'm glad you are happy with your decision. good luck. i hope you find someone who has lots of milk.
i, myself, had huge amounts of excess that ended up in down the sink. i would have been happy to donate it, but back then, i'd never heard of such a thing. (my kids are now almost 6 and almost 8).
one of the problems with online forums is that occasionally it is difficult to tell the tone of writing. i can assure you, speaking for myself, i would never criticise a mother for choosing this. it was purely out of concern and ignorance (not knowing how one would go about it).... and also that i know others who have felt a failure when breastfeeding didn't go according to plan (my sister-in-law). she felt a terrible sense of guilt, which i really didn't think was fair. it wasn't so much what she herself thought, it was what everyone else was telling her....
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