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When to tell people...

  1. #9
    Sapphire40 is offline Registered User
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    Thanks Alfa - at the moment I can't bring myself to tell anyone. I've told my best friend who lives in the US and obviously my husband but that's it. I kind of feel that i might jinx it otherwise and I'm possibly still a bit in denial. I walk around thinking 'OMG I'm pregnant, that is so weird' but I feel normal. I'm paranoid people are going to guess. I think telling people will make it seem very real which it doesn't at the moment, and then I am not sure I could deal with the interest at the moment. I had 2 IUIs before this and neither of them worked, the first one devastated me, so I want to be able to manage my reaction if things go wrong. But in the meantime, I am trying to project happy and positive thoughts.

    Thanks :-)

  2. #10
    inkmink is offline Registered User
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    It took me 5 years to get pregnant. When I found I was pregnant at 7 weeks, I only told 2 friends living overseas. They were a pillar of support for me.

    Throughout the months, we slowly shared the news to 4 other friends after the 4th month, again all lives overseas apart from 1, based in Hong Kong. We didn't tell our families and other friends until our daughter was born. Needless to say, they were shocked but happy upon hearing the news.

    Just do what you feel comfortable.... and Congratulations!!
    carang likes this.

  3. #11
    Sapphire40 is offline Registered User
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    Thank you! I guess what feels comfortable is not sharing it with people at the moment, it feels way too soon. We go back to the Uk at the end of august which will almost be 3 months so I might tell people then (providing all has gone well).
    carang likes this.

  4. #12
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    inkmink: how in the world did you manage to keep it from your mum? i could not have done that.... i found my mother to be the most supportive person i had, after my husband...but at least my mum had been through it twice...

  5. #13
    inkmink is offline Registered User
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    It was difficult as I had all these questions I wanted to know but had to fight myself from picking up the phone. My relationship with my family aren't exactly close where you communicate often but is based on "unspoken" love - the Asian way. And we were on our own in Hong Kong, only moved here then, so it was "easy" to not let the world know.

    I had a lot on my plate to deal with then and last thing I need was additional task in sorting whatever they need if/when they come over.

    Actually, I am currently 6 months pregnant with my 2nd. This time, we told both our families around 3.5 months and some friends at 4.5 months. I just didn't want or feel comfortable the first time round but this time, I was ready to share the news earlier.

  6. #14
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    wow! i could never have kept it secret! LOL! but then again, i talk to my mum everyday... sometimes twice/day! (even though she's in canada!)

    **not saying you were wrong or judging you... more like judging myself... i am currently trying to keep the surprise 65th birthday party i am planning for my mum a secret... and having a very, very difficult time! LOL!**

  7. #15
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    Congrats! Ours is an IVF baby, too. And now she's a healthy, happy tot. Best of luck to you.
    My parents knew right away, since I am very close to them. But other that them and my husband, I told nobody the first two months.
    At 12 weeks, I told my boss, who I am also close to and have worked with for many years.
    I didn't tell my colleagues till I was 4 months and showing.
    I told friends at around that time, when people started to notice.
    There's no rush to tell people. It's less stressful in the beginning if you just take it easy and keep it private.
    There will be plenty of time later for people to gush over your pregnant belly!

  8. #16
    fafreak is offline Registered User
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    As someone who's had children, I know that I don't like to tell until 13 weeks or so. As such, when friends and colleagues start exhibiting possible pregnancy behavior, I just ignore it - I figure people will tell me what they want to tell me when they want to tell me. As such, perhaps some of your friends will just let you go along despite their suspicions. For others, if you aren't really ready to talk, I've often employed the "husband drama" tactic, where I drop hints about ficticious fights we have, etc (which was easy given the state of my hormones). Of course, this only works if hubby is willing to play along. Drop in a mid summer cold (my pregnancy symptoms were cold like and in fact, I thought my second pregnancy was the world's longest cold) with complaints about air con during HK summer and those who aren't really paying close attention will probably be deflected. Those who are paying attention will hopefully take your hints. But to each their own - I didn't want to tell people but I didn't feel like I could just drop off the face of the earth so I went with trying to throw sand in people's eyes.

    And most importantly, congrats and best wishes!!!

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