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View Poll Results: Was helper justified to give medicine against our instruction to make our baby sleep?

Voters
107. You may not vote on this poll
  • Acceptable

    0 0%
  • Somewhat acceptable

    0 0%
  • Not sure

    1 0.93%
  • Somewhat Unacceptable, Give 2nd chance

    6 5.61%
  • Unacceptable, Terminate

    101 94.39%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Helper Caught Drugging Baby to Sleep

  1. #33
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    There would be no sentence because it's a totally different case.
    There's a huge difference between a bad decision -- but one probably meant well -- and the deliberate poisoning of a child.
    mummymoo, miran and striker like this.

  2. #34
    striker is offline Registered User
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    Original Post Followup

    First, thank you all for your detailed and impassioned comments. You helped us confirm a lot of what we had already been thinking, but also gave some good advice and added a few issues we hadn't thought of specifically.

    Second, my apologies for not responding sooner. Getting caught up in all the issues above, while trying to manage a few viruses with us and our kids, settling our new born, and getting work done too were pretty taxing on our bandwidth. although i know in this day and age, most people expect instant replies, so thanks for your patience.

    Third, to clarify, i am the husband, so perhaps my more rational over emotional side is manifest in my post here. Like Elle, Cara and others, my wife wanted to fire both of them on the spot. I knew this was serious, but as mummymoo, Gracey, and others also expressed, i was not convinced she had done this maliciously or even realized the potential danger to what she did. I think I believe as Elle wrote -- "For all we know the helper could have been overworked, overtired and in desperate need of a break so she did something that while very bad and inexcusable may in no way have been intended to intentionally harm the baby." And I do know quite a few parents who would have no issue of giving sleeping aids (e.g. benedryl) to kids to help them sleep on a plane or in certain circumstances.

    Our bottom line was that despite the good work she had done for us in the past, and despite my view that she was caring and our baby boy was attached to her, she should have known that this was not an acceptable thing to do, and even if the medicine was not harmful, it was the principle of what she did that would make it very difficult for us, and especially my wife, to trust her again. We fired her the next day.

    That next morning however, we did give her one last chance to change our minds as we discussed the whole issue with her again in depth, and gave her opportunities to explain and commit that she realized the magnitude of her error. But although she expressed some regret and apologies, we didn't feel sufficiently moved to change our minds. We noted on her release form what she had done, to make her next potential employer aware of the issue. [That being said, and a credit to how she can present herself well, she was able to get a new job with an expat couple within a few days after our release.]

    Our second helper, we were thinking of letting go as well. But as she had just started working with us, had shown a willingness to follow our instructions, and as we knew it could take some time to find replacements, we had a talk with her as well, and will see how it goes for the time being.

    Again thanks to you all for your comments. We've learned a lot over this incident, and hopefully we can be more careful and discerning for our next picks, and the training and supervision required to not let things get out of control.

    [need to do more research on this, but a few interesting links]
    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...3081023AAhvO84
    http://voices.yahoo.com/why-its-not-...g-9052257.html
    http://www.childrenscolorado.org/wel...ews/51505.aspx
    http://www.consumerreports.org/healt...bies_sleep.htm

  3. #35
    Newbie_hk is offline Registered User
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    I have been watching this thread with much interest & concern. I'm glad it all worked out Striker. It's a learning curve for all of us & I'm just happy to find that nothing serious happened to your child.
    striker likes this.

  4. #36
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
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    We noted on her release form what she had done, to make her next potential employer aware of the issue. [That being said, and a credit to how she can present herself well, she was able to get a new job with an expat couple within a few days after our release.]

    More than likely she didn't use your reference letter - if she can read English and understand what you have wrote and some employers don't do their due diligence. I can't imagine anyone hiring her if they knew unless they had no children or pets.

    Our second helper, we were thinking of letting go as well. But as she had just started working with us, had shown a willingness to follow our instructions, and as we knew it could take some time to find replacements, we had a talk with her as well, and will see how it goes for the time being.

    The second helper......I would be making arrangements to get rid of her too. For two reasons, firstly, the types of helpers that chat on the phone ALL the TIME are unlikely to change and now you have no way of detecting this. So long as she gives you lip service i.e. says yes to your requests then you will be none the wiser.

    Secondly, she knew they first helper had done a very bad thing and dangerous thing, yet decided to keep it under wraps until she needed ammunition against the first helper......doesn't make her entirely trustworthy protoplasm.
    carang likes this.

  5. #37
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    mummymoo.>>>> 10 points for using "protoplasm" in a post! LOL!
    elle and matemate like this.

  6. #38
    striker is offline Registered User
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    the release form goes to the government and the agency. and we were told the new hiring agency should be able to see the reason for why she was terminated. we didn't write her a letter of recommendation.

    the second helper is not always on the phone like some others we've seen. we already told her it would be cause for termination, so she hasn't been using her phone as we or our friends in the area have seen. the fact that she didn't immediately tell us, makes us agree with mummymoo, but we haven't entirely decided yet.

  7. #39
    mummymoo is offline Registered User
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    Carang you crack me up!!!!

  8. #40
    sdp_1985 is offline Registered User
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    Isn't this also a case of careless parenting ?? BTW how much time did parents spend with child ?? if you don't own up, you need to go by someone else.

    I didn't see poll earlier, Not sure why do someone poll on this matter. it is very private matter. decide on your own.
    Last edited by sdp_1985; 11-07-2012 at 08:02 AM.
    cetice likes this.

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