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View Poll Results: Was helper justified to give medicine against our instruction to make our baby sleep?

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  • Acceptable

    0 0%
  • Somewhat acceptable

    0 0%
  • Not sure

    1 0.93%
  • Somewhat Unacceptable, Give 2nd chance

    6 5.61%
  • Unacceptable, Terminate

    101 94.39%
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Helper Caught Drugging Baby to Sleep

  1. #41
    jill2012 is offline Registered User
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    came across this post and followed through with great interest and quite great fear, as an expectant mother of first child, we just started to look for a in house babysitter, the helper 1 here seems to be mostly reliable and fine apart from this sleeping drup, the only bit that made me less scared is that the drug was prescribed and has been used by the child before, that the helper at least knew the effects of the drug that it's not poisonous or killing... yet again, to do something against instruction, in itself is quite scary. and trust is hard to re-establish after it's hurt this way.
    yet how the hell could we tell from a interview what the nanny might or might not be willing to do for somebody else's child??
    hang around video cameras in all rooms sounds excessive, and don't think it will prevent anything as a evil hearted helper can always find a dead corner without being seen,
    or do we have to always hire 2 helps so that one can watch out for the other? at least that we we stay informed...
    or should moms of new born simply give up job for 3 years and minding the kid all by oneself, i'd love to luxury to do that if we wouldn't need my income...

  2. #42
    geiboyi is offline Registered User
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    When my kids have a bad cold I give them Medised, Benedryl, whatever, which deals with the symptoms and also helps them sleep. My helper gives them medicine when I'm not around, and I make sure I ask her when the last dose was. I'm sort of horrified by the reaction here.

  3. #43
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    There is a difference between a parent giving neds because a child is sick and then instructing a helper to follow suit and a helper givibg drugs to a child so the kid will sleep without tge knowledge or approval of the parent. Don't you think?

    Sent from my N8100 using GeoClicks mobile app
    Sweetblueberry and sundayz0 like this.

  4. #44
    Sweetblueberry is offline Registered User
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    so sorry that you're going through this OP. IMO, the bottom line is trust. I would not be able to trust someone that deliberately feeds my baby drugs without permission. Never mind that it sounds like she did it for her own benefit so that she can have an easier time dealing with a baby that sleeps soundly and not because she thought it would help a sick child. Neither scenario is acceptable without permission but the former is just a selfish act.

    For the protection of the baby's health and your own sanity, they need to be reported and dismissed.

  5. #45
    geiboyi is offline Registered User
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    So fine, of course if your helper did something you don't like, and you don't want to employ her any more, fire her. But report her to the authorities? For what? I'm pretty sure that giving a child medicine that has been prescribed for him or her is not a crime. Seems a little bit vindictive. Employer's child has come to no harm. Helper's children (possibly) now go hungry because she can't get another job because rich (relatively, and yes, we all are) mummy had a tantrum when the helper made a bad decision? You can't go around punishing people for what might have happened.

  6. #46
    ngnhk is offline Registered User
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    The point is not that the employer's child did not come to any harm - it is that a helper (or frankly, anybody watching the child) acting on her own - on more than one occasion, mind you - without asking a parent's or doctor's permission could easily have done GREAT harm. The OP also says that the helper did not tell her about the drugs right away - this implies the helper knew she was doing something wrong. Her not wanting to work with a second helper or not wanting to sleep with the baby is not an excuse for putting the baby's health at risk.

    This is not one of those situations where somebody can step back and say "all's well that ends well." This could have ended very badly. In this specific case, you CAN absolutely punish somebody for "what might have happened," because the helper has proven that she either does not or will not follow instructions (again, on more than one occasion.) That is simply a disaster waiting to happen. Medication is just too dangerous an issue to take any risk.

    As for the helper's children going hungry because of rich people's tantrums...honestly, that is not the employer's concern. If you choose to make it your concern at the risk of your own child, that is your business. But I just can't believe that most people would. If you read the original post, it sounds like this drugging is not just in response to the baby being awake, but also to the helper herself having an emotional reaction to the second helper, in addition to having to sleep with the baby. That is a tantrum on her part. If you do something wrong in your job and put other people at risk, do you honestly think your boss is going to take your children's welfare into account before firing you? I don't think so.

    The employee is supposed to do what she is asked to do - especially with something as potentially dangerous as medication.

    Debates aside, does anybody know what decision the OP ended up making?

  7. #47
    geiboyi is offline Registered User
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    So, if it was your mother or mother-in-law, looking after the children, who made this decision, you'd call the police? Didn't think so.

  8. #48
    ngnhk is offline Registered User
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    Family members can make bad decisions, too - and oftentimes, if a family member does something egregious during a childcare situation, people have certainly been known to keep that family member away from their children in the future. In an especially dangerous situation, yes, people do call the police.

    If it had been a family member who made this decision and the worst happened, there would have been a police investigation after which charges may very well have been filed against that family member, regardless of whether it was simply a "bad decision" or something more malicious. Decisions have consequences.

    But anyway, in this situation, the culprit is not a family member. It's an employee - someone you pay in exchange for her services. I know some people might disagree, but I don't believe that a helper is a member of the family. And as I said, this helper willfully disobeyed by giving the medication on more than one occasion. Once could be a mistake...more than once is obviously not, and this helper should have been punished for putting a baby at risk.

    Anyway, you are welcome to your opinion (I can see you enjoy playing devil's advocate, and I will stop indulging you), but you should be aware that most people just don't share it and would be far more risk-averse in this situation than you.
    margaretb and cetice like this.

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