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panic! it's twins!

  1. #1
    twindledum! is offline Registered User
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    panic! it's twins!

    its our first go and whilst we planned to have 2 eventually the prospect of getting them both at once has both excited and terrified us!

    my wife is about 13 weeks along now - so its still early days but we're starting a battle plan now..

    firstly we think for sure we will need a fulltime helper- being in HK has its advantages!

    but do we need to get a nurse to help out for a bit during the first part when we first get them home?

    or would a helper who is quite experienced with babies be ok?
    actually my wife thinks we need 2 helpers - I'm not so keen on the paying for these!

    since our domestic situation is that I work from home sometimes whilst she works in a kindergarden ...

    so I am happy that I will get to spend a bit more time with them when not so busy, and looking like I wont be busy on a daily basis when they first arrive..

    feel sure theres a whole host of things I need to know.. known unknowns and unknown unknowns!

    thanks!

  2. #2
    rani's Avatar
    rani is offline Administrator
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    Congratulations!!!

    Yes, you will definitively need full time help. A good friend in Hong Kong had twins a few years ago, and although it was hard work it was so rewarding. As both parents were very hands on, they were able to manage quite well with 1 helper. Try with 1 helper first and if you need an extra pair of hands then hire another.

    Also you could look at hiring a Nanny for a few months. Here are a couple of agencies.

    Consultants - Hong Kong Baby & Pregnancy - GeoBaby.Com

    Maternity Nurse
    Founder of GeoBaby.Com

  3. #3
    TNJ
    TNJ is offline Registered User
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    Hi,

    Congratulations!!

    I bet your over the moon your having twins!

    I agree with you in thinking you should have a full-time helper, I was the same when I found out I was pregnant.. I think an experienced helper should be fine, but I dont think you'll need to hire 2 helpers... Been as they "have" to live with you 2 extra people can make your home feel crowded!

    I began planning for my daughter as soon as I found out I was pregnant - the sooner the better! I have hired my helper already as I would like to get to know her prior to the birth... I couldnt bare the thought of leaving my daughter at home with someone I couldnt trust 100%.

    I didn't want to hire through an agency I found mine through word of mouth and she is fantastic! She takes care of the house to the same standard that I would (if not better). She is very trust worthy, friendly and speaks great English as well as Cantonese.

    I would try to ask around see if anyone has any helpers to reccomend you'd be so surprised at how good they are at their job... If you had 2 they may get lazy and bored!

    Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    Private message me if you have any questions about how to hire a helper as I was a first-timer too!

  4. #4
    Liquorice is offline Registered User
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    Agree with Rani. You should only need one helper at first, but one that has experience with young babies if your wife is going back to work.

    A nanny/maternity nurse would be great for the first weeks/months, but can be very expensive if neither you or your wife speak Chinese.

    I am due with twins in a couple of weeks and I've booked a 24 hr maternity nurse, 6 days a week for the first 6 weeks. Mainly because I have a toddler already and want to be rested enough to be available for him during the day, and my experience of the first 3 months when he was born was pretty awful so I want to make sure I have good help if I happen to have another 2 like he was! Let it be said, though, that not everyone has a bad time across the first months - some of my friends had little angels.

    The level of support really depends on what suits you though. At first, the idea of 24 hr help seemed excessive to me, but thinking on it I soon decided it could be great. I have "been there, done that" with a first though. I accepted no help with my first son from my helper for almost 2 months because I wanted to do it all myself.

    The only other thing I'd say about helpers vs maternity nurses, is that it in my experience it can be hard to find excellent helpers, and I would find it hard to trust someone with the care of my 2 newborns that was not qualified or at least highly experienced. But again, it depends what you will use them for. My intention is mostly to use the nurse at night to settle the babies after feeding, while I go back to sleep.

    Also, direct your wife to the Mothers of Multiples group, where you can ask advice from many twin mums. I've found it very useful.

    https://sites.google.com/site/mothersofmultipleshk/

    Good luck - a very exciting time!

  5. #5
    MommyTo3 is offline Registered User
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    Congrats on your twins! I had a singleton and twins 2 1/2 years later. First of all, definitely join Mothers of Multiples in Hong Kong. Lots of great and much needed advice there.

    As for helpers, mine were not born in HK and I had no helper, no family closeby. We did hire a night nurse when my parents left (at 3 weeks) for the next 7 weeks. A fortune, but worth it, especially as I had no other help.

    I have always managed with one helper in Hong Kong, they were 20 months when we got here (oldest started preschool, full day). I didn't work at the time. If your wife works, I think you need 2 as you cannot expect 1 helper to look after twins and clean the house. I looked after mine, but had cleaners coming to my house before we got to HK.

    However, many parents of twins here, will have 2 helper, especially for the first 6 months to 1 year. It really depends on how hands on you are, and the husband is. If you're hands on, you should be fine with 1 in my opinion. You may want to get somebody come part time to help with the cleaning to take that burden off your helper. As for night help, it depends. If you can nap a little bit during the day, it should be doable. Also it depends when they're born and whether they need an additional stay in the hospital. Mine came home with me within 48 hours, but not all do. I would definitely look into night help and investigate your options. I think it can be done, I did it, but with help so readily available here, people tend to use that quickly and easily. Millions of us survive without.

  6. #6
    twindledum! is offline Registered User
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    some great advice thanks! yes we're pretty stoked about it! its been fun slowly letting people know :) its a great double whammy!

    right now we're only about 3 months on so looks like a couple of months to find the right helper? I said if we're with in 3 months of due date ( october) and no helper we should panic!

    spoke with a friend las night, we are only just starting to tell people now = and she has a "pui yuht" she recommends - but I dunno if the usual deal with those is for nights? and altho I speak some chinese my wife doesnt and i think its pretty important they can communicate effortlessly! so the chinese option may be out!

    we'd be really interested in your experience liqourice ! good luck! so close now!! let us know how u get on,,, they do come early sometimes :D do u know boy girl yet? (I dont wanna know now - the surprise at the end - hmm maybe I better read some more! )

    for the maternity nurse - we'd like to save some of the expense and just go for an over night nurse and just get thru the days with the helper and us,.. I mean the same nurse doesnt come in for 24 hours straight? ( im sure I have other dumb questions too! )


    we like the advantages of a live in helper but space is always a premium - got some nice tips from the article on interview process from rani -

    I asked a friend las nigh and she said she would ask around for us. others have suggested using another xpat site that has lots of ads - can pay a fee an then call around phone interview then arrange a meet somewhere- before a final interview

    so might be in touch TNJ :)

  7. #7
    rani's Avatar
    rani is offline Administrator
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    We found our helper through GeoExpat.Com

    Domestic Helper Available - Full Time (Ads By Helpers) - Hong Kong Classifieds

    It's a free service for Employers and Helpers. Browse through the ads, and simply add the ones that meet your criteria to your watch list. Text the ones you've shortlisted to arrange a phone interview. If that goes well arrange a face to face. You can also place your own ad for a small fee. We found the helpers who contacted me directly where to shy to place their own ad.

    Good luck!
    Founder of GeoBaby.Com

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