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What to do if birth support person can't attend classes?

  1. #1
    ngnhk is offline Registered User
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    May 2013
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    Kowloon
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    What to do if birth support person can't attend classes?

    Hi all,

    I have a question about what to do if your birth support person can't come to classes with you. My husband and I have decided for our own reasons that he won't be in the delivery room with me - we made this decision together, and I'm not upset about it. I know some people can be very opinionated about husbands not being in the delivery room, but please just leave it be - this isn't the problem. The issue is - we plan for my mother to be in the delivery room with me, but she won't be in HK while I'm attending antenatal classes (my husband will come to the classes with me.)

    Two questions:

    1) Is she allowed to be in the delivery room with me if she hasn't attended the classes? I'm booked in at the Matilda.

    2) My mother last gave birth almost 30 years ago, so things have obviously changed since then. She lives in the US, so assuming she is allowed in, what advice can I give her to help her prepare to be with me during the delivery?

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Bluebelle82 is offline Registered User
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    May 2013
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    HK Island
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    8
    Hi

    I am also delivering at Matilda (first baby) and am pretty sure you won't have any issues having your mum in with you. Probably best just to contact the hospital direct to confirm though.

    If you're preparing a birth plan I would suggest you share this with your mum (and husband) well in advance of your due date. You can then talk through your preferences with her so that she fully understands your wishes and can advocate on your behalf if necessary.

    You will also no doubt receive lots of reading and reference materials at your antenatal classes so I would also send her a copy of those so that she can update her knowledge.

    Hope this helps.

  3. #3
    Editor is offline Administrator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    172
    We reached out to our resident midwife expert, Hulda Thorey of Annerley and her advice for you is:

    To answer your first question briefly; under normal circumstances anyone may support you through labour at The Matilda.

    Question 2: It is more common than you may think for mothers to support their daughters through labour for one reason or another, and your concern over whether your mother is ready for the challenge 30 years on is also understandable.

    What is most important is a realistic assessment by you of your mother’s nature. If she is relaxed and calming than this is all good, but if she is inclined to become stressed and panicky, and for example, rush you off to the hospital at the first contraction then you need to have a honest chat with her beforehand. You need to have her on board with her role as the support person who helps keep your mind off the contractions, who perhaps helps with pain relief by giving you a massage and so on.

    Because this situation does arise, we do offer short 1-hour consultations with grandmas-to-be where we can very quickly get to the point and make sure that she is up to date on such things as pain relief options, breathing techniques, how to support you with massage, how to help you into different positions during labour, how the system works and what to expect in the hospital.
    We are also perhaps in a better position to remind mum that if she had a particularly bad experience of birth, she needs to keep this information to herself. And even if her experience of birth was heavenly, she should still refrain from telling you that “all women in our family pop babies out like peas.” Each birth is unique and she should take it as it comes.

    I hope this information helps!

  4. #4
    ngnhk is offline Registered User
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    May 2013
    Location
    Kowloon
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    Thanks! Very helpful advice.

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