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  • 2 Post By Gracey

Bringing DH out for dinner

  1. #1
    kit_kat is offline Registered User
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    Bringing DH out for dinner

    How many of you actually bring DH out for family meals? As I noticed its not very common for DH to tag along. A friend of mine never bring her DH out for meals. We dine out every weekend and we make it a point to include her for dinners averaging HKD200pp at least once a month. Not that we need her to attend to our daughter during meal time, but as a reward from time to time. Am I treating her just about right? Or a little too generous?

  2. #2
    Gracey is offline Registered User
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    When our helper started, I used to bring her out for lunches / dinners, to be nice. Then I realized it only made her uncomfortable, especially if I was with friends and she was the only helper there. She's a lovely person - and doesn't mind going to big Chinese casual family dinners if the baby needs looking after - but she's not particularly interested in sitting in some restaurant that costs HK 200+ per head. She would only order the cheapest food and would find excuses to go walk around with the kid.

    She's really comfortable at home with us, and appreciates being part of home-cooked meals and celebrations. But, if she had a choice, I think she'd rather have an evening off with her Filipina friends than sitting in a restaurant with us if she didn't need her around. She'd probably rather have an occasional HK $50 fast-food gift certificate or some extra grocery money to share with her friends than a HK $200 meal.

    Every helper is different. Why don't you just ask her?
    carang and lesliefu like this.

  3. #3
    ilgattonero is offline Registered User
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    Hah! When I first saw the title of your thread, I though DH was "Darling Husband" and was all ready to send a you a list of romantic restaurants!

    I think it's nice what you do and it's a good way to introduce your helper to different cuisines but Gracey is probably right about her preferring to be with her friends.

    We haven't taken our helper out with us but instead have offered to pay for a dinner or pot luck dish on special occasions (like her birthday or Christmas) when she's out with her friends. We give her gift certificates as well to places that are affordable to her friends and her. When I used to be in the restaurant business, I would invite her friends and her to a complimentary meal during our food tasting/training sessions which was always a treat for all of them.

  4. #4
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    our helper is the same...in fact each of the ones that worked with our family preferred to take out from a nice restaurant than eat with us at the restaurant....good food in the comfort of their own room...your intentions are definitely nice and I have in fact tried it a couple times...each to no avail, because they feel uncomfortable choosing from the menu (perhaps because of the price tag)...eventually i found out their food preferences and knew what to order for them (rice vs noodles, etc) and what I do sometimes is just by them some meats when i go shopping so they can cook for themselves too - they enjoy cooking...the store bought meats are definitely cheaper than one from a restaurant, but if I'm buying them salmon meat etc. it's something they would never buy themselves ($25) but is something they'd enjoy...knowing their preferences will come in time...

  5. #5
    kit_kat is offline Registered User
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    Thanks for all the comments. I only bring her out when we are dining out as a family, not with other friends. Otherwise, I will feel equally awkward. Guess I will still maintain this arrangement. Apart from that, I give her things of monetary value during CNY, Christmas and her birthday. Occasionally I'll sponsor her to cook something and share it with her friends. But the point is, I don't want to set a high expectation and if I don't follow through consistently (skipped dinner outing with her for that month due to half the time out of town) she'll throw a little tantrum.

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