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please help, wife's mutliple health issues

  1. #1
    bsc1280 is offline Registered User
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    please help, wife's mutliple health issues

    Hi All


    I am posting here to get some help regarding some health issues my wife is facing

    Some background

    . She is in her late twenties, we have an active 3 years old kid at home.
    . She has a relatively immunity since the time I know her, especially when it comes to sore throat, flu, allergies and has mild asthma at times.
    . We have a full time helper at home and she is a SAHM. She has been complaining of the hectic work for past few years (off and on). I think the work load is there but nothing that is unmanageable as we have a fulltime helper.
    . Things have aggregated since last 1 years, when she suffered a miscarriage in 12th week. It was a major setback for both of us and it took time for us to come out of it.


    Current situation:
    . for past 5-6 months, she has been complaining of extreme fatigue, pain in body, disturbed sleep. She finds it too hard to manage the household work and I can see the fatigue is increasing with time.
    . She also has low grade fever (~37.5 – 37.6 ) every few days and with this she complains of pains, tiredness, fatgue. She does wake up 1-2 times at night to feed out kid and then wakes up around 10 am in the morning, still complaining that she did not get enough sleep. Crying that she cant handle the work etc etc
    . Mood swings and sign of depressions have been increasing. Often complaining of how small out apartment is (by HK standards it still a 1100 sqft), how bad the life we are living, etc etc. The mood gets better when we go out (over weekends), eat out etc.
    . She did not loose any weight , she had gained with the pregnancy last year. She has infact gained more weight. Eating habits are not that good
    . She does not do any phsycial excericse. Complains that she is too tried to do anything. This is a a vicious cycle and I have been unable to break it.



    I did some research and found these causes for these symptoms. Personally I feel it’s the chronic fatigue syndrome. Or it can be depression too (but it does not cause low grade fever I think).

    Symptom Search for General weakness, Fatigue, Low grade fever on Yahoo Health

    I know this is not a medical forum but I REALLY need your help here. Please if

    . If you have suffered or know anyone who have suffered from these symptoms, please share your experiences

    . If you know of a doctor who is very good and experienced with such treatments, please let me know. I am sorry to say but majority of HK doctors won’t even listen to the long story above and such diseases as CFS are easy to be misdiagnosed. There is some issue cauing depression/mood swings or the depression is causing other ailments….

    This is really affecting my personal life, the environment at home is stressed at times. I have tried my level best to help her with household chores, cheer up her mood etc but I think we really need some medical help now.

  2. #2
    bsc1280 is offline Registered User
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    any help.....................

  3. #3
    rani's Avatar
    rani is offline Administrator
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    Sorry you're going through this. I would first take her to a GP and just get some simple blood work done and hopefully rule out any medical problems that maybe causing the fever.

    I would also recommend seeing a counselor. The St. John's Cathedral offer counseling services or perhaps your Dr can recommend someone. Also sounds like your wife maybe homesick? Do you think a parent or sibling can come visit?

    http://www.stjohnscathedral.org.hk/counselling.html
    Founder of GeoBaby.Com

  4. #4
    FutureHKmom is offline Registered User
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    I don't have any medical advice or doctors to recommend, unfortunately. But I wanted to ask why she can't give more work to the helper? For example, why does she do any housework at all if she has a helper. My full time helper does all the housework, cleans, cooks and does occasional babysitting. Also, if your child is 3 years old, I'm also wondering why your child is being fed 1-2 times a night. If you can't cut the feedings, maybe you should do the feedings?

    Also, a 3 year old child can be enrolled in a nursery class or K1 actually....if not school, then there should be plenty of activities you could enroll your child in. If the helper can take the child out, then your wife could get more time to rest.

    These are just practical thoughts that jumped to my mind before you even approach the medical issues.....
    rani likes this.

  5. #5
    bsc1280 is offline Registered User
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    Thanks Rani and FutureHKMom

    We went to our hometown in summers and she was better there. Atleast not complaining about the fatigue as she had 2 helpers and family support.

    We did some bloodtests done a few months back and there was nothing too obvious there.

    The problem is that the helper is actually doing a lot of household work. cleaning, grocerry shopping, doing the basic food cooking or atleast helping in cutting etc. So I think its not the amount of household work! Its either emotional or something medically wrong with the body (i am more inclined to believe the later).

    My kid is not very friendly with the helper but she does help take care of the kid when my wife goes out alone sometimes. So in my opinion, the household work is there but much manageable for a SAHM mother. My wife has been physically very unfit since last 1 year. Complaining of getting tired after 10 misn walks to mtr etc etc

    The problem is that it would be very very tough to be able to convince her to goto a counsellor and she is generally quite doubtful about just going to any GP. In my opinion we need to start with some doctor who is experienced in handling such cases and do the test for CFS or other related problems. Its some mild depression causing these or these conditions causing a midl depression......

    please can you all help me more on this..................

  6. #6
    FutureHKmom is offline Registered User
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    though I've not been to her myself I hear good things about Dr. Sarah Borwein at Central Health. She is a GP but she also has a psychologist and psychiatrist in her practice. so your wife can be referred if need be

  7. #7
    bsc1280 is offline Registered User
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    Thanks a lot everyone
    I will check for more info about her. She has a degree in infectious diseases, etc

    I am hoping i will find someone who knows of a doctor with similar experiences....

  8. #8
    Ollie_Roast is offline Registered User
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    Sorry you are going through this but sounds like your wife is going through some sort of depression, maybe related to the miscarriage?

    I'm no doctor but if the depression gets bad enough and psychologically the person themselves "feel" unwell, then it can cause physical problems too. I would definitely suggest seeing a counsellor or psychologist to try to sort things out and help pull her through.

    Hope things get better!

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