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How to handle strangers touching your baby?

  1. #9
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    i am with NewDad on this one..... it's part of the culture here, they are doing it with good intentions. they are not trying to hurt/harm you or your baby, and sorry, but it is a bit of an over-reaction, in my opinion.

    and yes, strangers do come up and touch you. they shake hands etc, no?

  2. #10
    Mingaling is offline Registered User
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    Carang - no, on a day to day, strangers do not come up to me and shake my hand. And IF they do, I have no intention of putting that hand in my mouth. My baby will.
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  3. #11
    Mingaling is offline Registered User
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    Carang and Newdad - my husband agrees with you both and he too thinks I am overreacting. But this is personal choice - that I prefer people I do not know to not touch my baby without permission. So my question was more for those mothers and fathers that feel the same as me and to suggest ideas of what I can do to prevent it.
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  4. #12
    2010-NewDad is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mingaling View Post
    Newdad- for me, it's more about personal space and crossing boundaries. I wouldnt approach a stranger and grab their hand or feet, or pinch a cheek, and I wouldnt want someone doing it to me. Why should a baby be any different?
    Well, babies are different to adults :)

    I know some children don't take kindly to strangers, and some have no issue at all. My own children are like chalk and cheese in this respect - from shy & reserved to very gregarious. The most shy one will flinch away from strangers and turn her head - they get the message and stop. Nobody wants to upset or bother her.

    The youngest, and most gregarious will happily smile and play with anyone. It's lovely to see a moment of pure human joy on both sides of the equation.

    At the end of the day, it is easier to change our own views than change those of the wider population here.

    Germs is also a factor, I rather not add to the germs my baby has to encounter. She already puts everything in her mouth.

    And yes, I agree - i find that this culture loves an adorable baby. But what culture doesn't?

    Well, you can try to change the culture here, or get upset and stressed everytime someone approaches/touches your baby.
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  5. #13
    2010-NewDad is offline Registered User
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    Apologies - something went wrong with my post and appended some of your post to it - hope nobody is confused!

  6. #14
    Nic
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    I have three blonde, blue eyed children who range from shy to gregarious as above poster and I agree with general idea that as long as my children dont mind, I dont mind, but I must admit when my kids are too young to vocalise for themselves I draw the line at face touching as we walk down the street/ park etc. I learnt how to say politely in chinese 'please dont touch face' and everyone respects this.

    Good luck trying to enforce a 'no touching at all' policy, especially in places you often frequent as they preceive they 'know' your baby.
    Also your baby will be picking up on your stress/ anxiety every time someone approaches you- do you want her to be apprehensive about new people and situations.

    I think we all had a set of ideals when we began our parenting journeys and as hard as it is to moderate/ relax these, sometimes for the sake of your own sanity you need to. If you think this battel is orht fighting 100% go for it, but in HK you face many more years of this issue (still an issue with my 6yr old- and yes she still puts her thumb/ fingers in her mouth without washing her hands religiously every time)
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  7. #15
    Mingaling is offline Registered User
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    @ nic and newdad - thanks for the feedback but accepting it is easier said than done! My friends back home are shocked that such behavior exists here so perhaps it is a cultural thing.

    Re: the wait staff touching my baby, I have seen them purchasing fish at the nearby fish market and dropping off the fish at the restaurant. They also handle money all day (which studies have shown, carry the most germs and bacteria). How often do you think their hands are washed? I have given one waitress a heads up (she touched my baby's cheek) and asked that my baby not be touched, but its done anyway.

    My baby is not bothered by it, my baby is all smiles all the time and is excellent with new faces.

  8. #16
    TNJ
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    On Sunday I was shopping with my daughter in the Market Place and I had my back turned for seconds and there were a few people trying to get my daughter to laugh (she was sat in the trolley) and they were taking pictures of her, touching her face and squeezing her feet. Its not the first time someone has taken a picture of my daughter with out my permission. It infuriates me. I am not a "psycho over-protective" mother. I would just like a little respect when I am out and about with my child and some personal space and common sense.

    Mingaling I am completely with you on this, its so frustrating. Its like some people just don't have manners.

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