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How to handle strangers touching your baby?

  1. #17
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    guess as children grow up, most parents moderate their firmly held ways.... at least those things that you can't change.

    guess we'll have to agree to disagree. personally, i think it's human instinct to want to touch a baby, especially one who is all smiles. i also agree that baby will definitely pick up on your anxiety and you might therefore cause similar anxieties in your children as they grow up. much in the same way that i hate tomatoes, and now, neither of my kids like them either.

  2. #18
    Mingaling is offline Registered User
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    TNJ - thank you! I am relieved to know there's another mother who feels babies are not public properties. I will continue to tell people that touch my baby that its not okay...perhaps they will think twice before doing it again.

    Carang - please be a little more sensitive with your words. Saying mothers like me will cause anxieties in our children as they grow up is a bit harsh. As picking up anxiety, maybe. But she's also showered with so much love and laughter - which is why she's so happy all the time. And your tomato comment, my husband's father HATES veggies. My husband loves them.
    TNJ likes this.

  3. #19
    carang's Avatar
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    sorry that you didn't like my contribution.... i have a *lot* of experience with young babies and new parents having taught baby playgroups for almost 2 decades. and what i'm telling you is the truth.... parental anxieties *can* be passed onto the babies. i've seen it often. children learn what they see.... if they see you get upset every time a stranger approaches/touches them, then they are learning that there is something to be fearful of/anxious about.

    you didn't like my example of tomatoes.... so here's another one that i've witnessed so many times over the years....

    kids' first day of kindergarten... the kids who are crying the most? the ones with parents who are anxious and worried about how their kid will handle it. the ones who, generally, cry the least? the ones with parents who say, "Great! You'll have so much fun! I'll see you in a couple of hours!" and walks away.

    anyway, this is an internet forum. i've been a member of it for almost a decade. when you post something you'll get opinions that you agree with and ones that you don't. i was not being insensitive. i was being honest. i'm sorry if that offended you. i'm just a mother of two (now almost 8 & 10) who has been through similar issues, who has taught others' children for 20 years and has tried to help where and when i could. if you don't like what i have to say, then please, ignore it. that's ok with me.

  4. #20
    Mingaling is offline Registered User
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    Carang - I have no issues teaching my baby that strangers are not permitted to touch. Ever heard of that saying "don't talk to strangers"? That applies to kids (and in my case at the moment, my baby).

    Do what u want with your kids and I will raise mine the way I feel is appropriate.

    And your day care setting or school setting is totally different. That's a setting where people are paid to take care of my kids, and believe me, I will do my due diligence before enrollinh her. My sister has two kids and my sister prevented strangers from touching them as well - guess what, first day of day care, they said goodbye and was fantastic! Your examples, in my opinion, don't really have any merit...sorry.

    I started this thread to ask how I can prevent strangers from touching my baby - not to hear criticism. Your
    comments are negative and critical. So your two cents is not asked for nor is it needed. Thanks for participating though.

  5. #21
    carang's Avatar
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    again...i wasn't criticising you... merely disagreeing with you.

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