Working Pregnant or Working Moms in Central?

[Prego1]

Hello fellow Blooming Beauties!

I was wondering if there is already a group for working (outside the home)moms or working (outside the home) pregnant women in the Central area? (We all know that staying-at-home with baby is a full-time job in itself!) If not, are there working moms or working prego who can do lunch once in a while in Central? I have burning questions about...where to pump in the office...maternity leave...how soon after birth will I be able or even willing to check my email...guilt...flexiwork...returning to your career...how to look like star performer while hurling into your wastepaper basket...hubbs supportive of working or not...is the helper a better mother...does the baby think the helper is the mother...does hubby think the helper is a better mother...

I'm in my first tri and full of questions and would be helped by women who re going through or have gone through this.

My sister, my mother and many of my closest friends in HK are/were stay-at-home moms and I have nothing but respect for the sacrifice they made to do so, but the AWA and other daytime groups already offer programs for stay-at-homes.

I guess the joys of motherhood include sacrifice whether you stay at home or return to working outside the home. Listening to a stay-at-home say that she sacrificed her career for her child is not what I find supportive and that is why I'm specifically looking for other working pregos or moms.

Prego1

[maryann]

Hi Prego1,

I work at IFC Central and I'm in my 10th week (1st pregnancy) so I share very much of your concerns.
Cheers,
Maryann

[LLL_Sarah]

Hi, I’m one of the La Leche League Leaders in Hong Kong. I run a group in Central during the evenings. We usually meet the first Wednesday evening of the month at 6:30 pm in the meeting room at Annerley Midwives, Unit 1801, Car Po Building, 18-20 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central.

At this meeting we usually get pregnant mothers and mothers who have returned to fulltime employment outside the home. Our meetings follow the format of discussing the topic title for the first part of the meeting and then opening up to discuss the concerns of the mothers attending. Many of the topics you mentioned have been brought up during the last few months.

Our next meeting is Wednesday April 6th from 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm. You are very welcome, as is anyone else who is interested. We also encourage you to bring along your babies – often mothers have their babies meet them at the meeting.

If you have any questions please contact me on 2548-7636 or [email protected]

We haven’t yet scheduled the meetings for the summer but will be doing so soon. If you are interested in joining our e-mail reminder list send a message to [email protected]

Best wishes,
SARAH

[jane01]

I'm a working mum (part time) in Central. I sooo understand where your concerns are coming from. If you are interested in lunch or just a chat, my # is 9166 4994.

In short answer to your concerns:

1. Pump either in an empty office, or book a meeting room every lunchtime. The toilets are ickky - would you want to drink something that has been in there?
2. Maternity leave - I took one year, yes I'm weird in HK. Best thing I ever did and when I came back to work nothing had changed, felt like I hadn't been away at all.
3. Email - errr, never. I had an arrangement with my secretary that in the unlikely event anything urgent came up, she'd phone me. She never phoned. As I was having a year's maternity leave, I stopped work on all my projects beforehand.
4. Guilt - I have it all the time even though I only work 3 days.
5. Flexi time - go for it. I recommend part time work. 3 days is better than 4 in my opinion, as you seem to be expected to do 5 days work in 4 days, but on only 3 they seem to realise you are PART TIME. I am flexible (within reason) about which days I work.
6. Returning to career - it is really just a job for me now. It has been made clear to me that I will not be promoted whilst I work part time, which I am not happy about. There is no way I'm prepared to work full time. It is hard to see junior people promoted ahead of you.
7. Morning sickness - hmmm no advice here, sorry.
8. Hubby supportive of working - part time, yes, full time, no. We're both in agreement on this.
9. Helper a better mum? - probably, she has 3 kids and 2 grandchildren, so she sure has more experience.
10. Does the baby think the helper is a better mum - no way, she's a mummy's girl through and through. I think I have the balance right, as my daughter is really very attached to me, although she also loves the helper. If I'm around, she won't willingly go to anyone else.
11. Does hubby think the helper is a better mum - no way. We both discuss important issues like b/f, discipline, etc and agree the way forward. On these sort of issues, we don't really expect the helper to play a large part. For example, personally I don't think the helper can be expected to do much discipline, it's up to the parents.

Oooo, lots of good questions.

My only advice is keep your mind open. Whilst you might not feel like "sacrificing" your career for your baby now, you may feel differently when bubs arrives. Until I had my baby, I just didn't understand how I would feel. Friends tried to tell me but it is something you have to experience for yourself. A career just doesn't seem important anymore. My daughter is the centre of my life. I feel totally and wholly responsible for her (with hubby of course). She'll only be this little (and this cute) for such a short time, I just want to enjoy every precious minute with her. It is hard work (much harder than working) but soooo worth it.