Sibling Rivarly??? Any tips to stop it

[sukhigill]

I have a 4 and a half year old and a 2 year old who are constantly fighting with each other starting at the time they wake up til they go to bed. They can fight over the tiniest thing. They fight over same car, same glass or same snack. I've tried getting them same identical toys for each of them but then both of them want to have both same toys at the same time. They also fight for a same seat. My younger one-daughter was not like this before but watching my son's behavior she has started doing the same.

I have tried separating them and it works like wonders. Both play with their toys quietly or watch tv or look at their books. The only difference was that one of them was at my mom's place and the other one at our place. I don't want to use this technique to solve this problem. I want them to learn how to share with each other and not fight all the time.

Regarding my son, it has not been ruled out yet but I'm suspecting him of having A.D.H.D. (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). I did one of those questionaires provided by Pscyhcologist and the answers to most of the questions were yes. I have already got a referral letter from the doctor and will get him assessed. He is very hyperactive, and always on a go. I have also done some lab test and it came out that he has high leves of mercury in his body. I am going to discuss that with his doctor and see what would be the treatment.

Please offer your advice and tips on all the related matters.

Thank you for your help.

[huisia]

Such a headache when comes to sibling rivalry. I would like to know how to solve it as i seeing this rivalry at my mother's place too.

[loupou]

Separating is fine, I did it a lot when my kids were smaller. I usually say something like "If you can't play nicely togther you have to separate.

Fighting over the same toy - I usually would do the old"no one can play with it while you are fighting over it". Then I would place it up high and they would either forget about it, or else start playing nicely to be allowed it back.

The kids fighting was (and is) a trial. But, they also started playing nicely together when they got to be about 3 and 5 - they would do makebelieve games. They still do play them, w/ dolls or puppets or playmobile. For a while they had a game called "Robot-Barbie" where they took the Chiu-yan and other robots and barbies and had adevnture melodramas with them.

If your son is 2 years-old and you think he may be hyperactive - don't worry too much. many 2 year-old boys are constantly on the go. It mellows out in time.

FYI - my kids are now 8 and 10.

[carang]

i ws going to say almost the same thing as you mayC...

my brother and i (he's 3 years younger) fought like cats and dogs....
and to this day, we agree that we love each other very much, so long as we live on different continents...lol...