Refuse to hold your hand while walking in public areas

[meimei]

HI everyone,
will your toddler refuse to hold your hand while walking in public? My 13 months old daughter gets really upset and shakes off my hand vigorously when she wants to walk around in public. Should I insist that she holds my hand? She might starts screaming or crying. It seems that she has very strong will at the age of 13 months. Does this happen to your kid? Thanks for your advise!

[carang]

of course you need to insist... what is more important, your child screaming in public or your child's safety???

it is a phase and it will pass, until then... INSIST!

if she wins this battle, just think of what lies ahead!

good luck~

[Sumei]

hi,

At 13 months, they are just starting to walk (and experiencing independence) and frankly, I think trying to force them to hand hold and listen to you exclusively is expecting ALOT from a 13 month old toddler (my son went through that, it was only at about 20-22 months that he was comfortable holding my hands and walking, most of the time he wanted to just make a run for it!!) Being in mind safety is also an issue, we made it a point to only let him down to walk in places he could dash around reasonably safely (eg. large open spaces, big uncrowded shopping centres etc) and put him back in the stroller when it was not safe to walk (eg. roads, crowded places etc)....when he is much more stable on his feet (eg. at 18 months) you can start instilling in him the hand-holding routine and hope that it slowly kicks in, their receptive language is actually very good even if they can't verbalise so you shouldn't wait too long to explain things. If you find it all a bit too much, you could try a toddler harness.

Good luck!

[mintycat]

I agree that at this age, they have just started learning to walk and want to be on their feet exploring the world. When my LO was that age, we let her walk on her own in large areas but when we are on the streets or crowded areas, I either put her in the stroller or hold her. Luckily for us, she never fought us and would gladly hold our hands. Now that she is 2 years old, sometimes she'll not want to hold hands on the streets but I explain to her that she has to or we go home immediately. That usually does the trick.

[bbvv]

My son is 13 months today and for the past 2 weeks since we started to put him down to walk in malls he just loves it and shakes our hands off if we tried to hold him too. Obviously at that age he is more excited about walking around everywhere with no sense of safety. I like to buy a safety harness either one that goes around the top half of the body or one that attached to his wrist (not sure if this is reliable). Which one would be better? Also I did mentioned the body safety harness to some friends and they think it's like putting a dog on a leash or is this the chinese culture? I think they are popular in UK and never really seen any toddlers in HK with these on. Would like some advice?

[capital]

When in parking lots, on the street or crowded areas mine HAVE to hold hands, if they pull away, then they are carried or put in the stroller. If you are really consistent they will quickly learn that if they want to walk it is holding hands or not getting to walk.

[kashismum]

I've used the wrist strap and the reigns and, at differerent stages, my daughter has preferred one or the other.
She still wants to run off sometimes, and I'll pick her up or strap her in the buggy if I have it with me.
It's a shame we don't have more open spaces for the kids to run around freely - when I was growing up, we went to the park almost daily. But, it's completely normal for a 13 month old to want to run around, I'd say.

[carang]

sorry, i still believe that it is ok to INSIST. i did with my, now 2.5 year old. and i've only ever had one incident with him running away (i was in a wheelchair at the time and couldn't run after him).

he KNOWS now that he MUST hold hands, or we don't go anywhere. i will stand in one place until he is ready to hold hands. he ALWAYS complies.

i believe that it is important that you pick and choose your battles with your kids. if you think that it is imperative that they hold hands, then INSIST EVERY TIME! if you don't, then don't worry about it. i'm sure you will find a solution that works for you.

the running around doesn't lessen with age, it only increases. so, i think that this behaviour needs to be nipped in the bud.

good luck with whatever you decide!