HELP needed for night time toilet training

[chubbysan]

hi,

I really appreciate any advise from the experienced mummies as I'm at my wits end now. I am in midst of toilet training my 4yr old for the night time and after a month, I am feeling distressed & frustrated.

My 4 yr old show sign of readiness when she woke up with dry PULL-UP late last year. And she was also able to wake herself up to wee. During that time, i thought i should continue to let her wear her PULL UP since winter is coming & to use this period to test if she is totally ready. As months goes, the situtation got worst. She wet her PULL UP almost every night & she stopped waking up at night to wee. Beginning of this month, I decided to take away the PULL UP & I will set up schedule to wake her up to wee. Initially started out well, she wee according to the time i fixed like every 1230am every night. But this only lasted a few nights. subsequently, she will wee at different hours & ended up wetting herself. I was very tired due to the disrupted sleep i had & so decided to put her back to her PULL UP.

Then i had a few nights of success again & some nights she was able to wake up to wee by herself. But when i take away her PULL UP, she started wetting herself again :( I am totally at my wits end now, & I am getting so frustrated & tired. Am I not doing something right or what can i do to let her wake up to wee by herself??? i have even tried the reward system if she doesnt wet herself but failed too.

I appreciate any mum sharing your success story with me.

Thank you!

[joannek]

maybe she's not ready yet. sounds like when she's relaxed (with her pull-up on thru-out the night) she manages to get up to wee. when she doesn't have her pull-up on, then she's stressed & unable to get up.

when i started training my daughter when she was 2, she told me she'll wear her panties when she's 3. i tried everything to train her before that & failed. 1 week before she turned 3, she said she wants her panties & that was it. she's still now in nappies at night (she's 3 & 3mths), but she said she'll wake up to wee when she's 5. i'll wait.

maybe you can ask your daughter if she's ready or not. most 4 yr old are able to tell you. if she's not ready, i don't see any reason to force yourself & her to be out of pull-ups at night yet. don't compare her & yourself to other kids & other moms. different kids do things at different rates. my nephew (who's 3 mths older than my daughter) was out of diapers after his 2nd bday, & out of night nappies after his 3rd bday. he started talking when he was 1 & was reciting every song in the CD when he was 18mths. (my daughter started talking after her 2nd bday!) my MIL used to driive me crazy comparing my daughter & my nephew. now she stops comparing cos she obviously see good traits at my daughter, too.

so take it easy, and don't be too tough on yourself & your poor girl.

[chubbysan]

hi joannek

thanks for sharing. I did ask her if she is ready & if she want to wear back her diaper. But everytime she will tell me she is ready & will wake herself up to wee. Tat y i didnt put her back on her PULL UP. Even for those nights when i gave her PULL UP, i usually wait till she sleep then i wear for her. so she shdnt know that she is wearing her PULL UP.

[AforApple]

my son is 4 and he has a wet nappy maybe once a fortnight. At this age they are having more control of their muscles and do feel embarrassed when they have a wet one... some days we have lots of milk shakes, fruit smoothies, soup etc so weeing more in unavaidable...that is why we still have a pullup on him.

But earlier on I did try a no nappy approach and he would wee evey night. Looking back I think that it was the milk before bedtime that made him wee in the night and that he was not ready.

So we ended up bringing the time forward. He would take his milk min. 1 hr before bedtime. Then just before bed he would visit the toilet. But I never woke him in the middle of the night to wee. Children as well as adults need quality, uninterrupted sleep. Therefore for everyone's quality of life, leaving a pullup on for a little longer may help with how you are feeling right now. Another option is to allow your daughter to choose nappy free nights and buy a few waterproof mattress protectors (best with terry towelling on one side).

Don't worry too much. Children even older than 4 have bed wetting accidents. I remember once when I was 6 I wet my bed accidently. My parents had a no fuss approach and I turned out ok. Meaning I don't wet my bed anymore :)

[muffkitt]

My 2 and 7 months old has on and off been able to keep his pants dry throughout the night. However he will take off his nappy himself saying it's too hot when he does the last wee for the night when we try to put his nappy on. I let him do whatever he wants so his feelings are appreciated. I place a plastic mat under his bed sheet and these are really good and you can get them from Bumps to Babes or any baby shops. They prevent the wee from seeping into the mattress and you just need to wash the bed sheets. My main action in toilet training is never ever say a cross word but just acknowledge it if the child has wet his pants and that he should inform me or helper when he needs to go. With my older child, he had to go back to nappies for another 1 month before he was ready again. It's all different for different children. Just hang in there. I actually think it's a positive sign your child has dry nappies some nights.

[capital]

A lotof 4 year olds are not night trained and this is normal. For us, whenmy son day trained, a few days afer starting he refused to wear a diaper at night so I let him keeo his underwear, he wet his bed at night about times/week, I was quite happy he only wet that much as he was 2 years 8 months at the time,now at 4 years he wet the bed once every week or 2. My pediatrician says they do not consider children night trained until they go 6 months without any night time accidents, as most kids will go go back and forth from frequent night accidents, to less frequent so on and so on. It sounds like this is your daughtr. I remember one of my brothers wet the bed until he was 1/ way through elementaryschool. It is very normal to take longer to ngiht train than day train. A lot of kids have small bladders or are deep sleepers and just don't wake up. The less of a fuss you make the better, as making a big deal over something she has no control over will not help. I also keep a matress protector on the bed with the sheet over it, and then I put a soaker pad over the sheet. A soaker pad is a square of waterproof cloth that they use in nursing homes for people that are incontinent, so it works great because I don't have to change the sheets and matress protector unless my son has rolled off of it. You should be able to get one at a medical supply place. I also used them myself at the end of pregnancy just incase my water broke in bed!

[chubbysan]

really appreciate everyone for sharing with me. i will take things slower with my girl. we had a small talk this evening & I told her we will continue with the pull up & she told me she will try to wake up to wee. Thanks for all the tips, and I hv got my mattress protector & soaker pad all ready. in fact i already bring forward her bedtime milk earlier but i guess, she still need her night time wee despite gng to toilte just before her bedtime.