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advice needed: toddlers reaction to new baby!

  1. #1
    aussie mum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    advice needed: toddlers reaction to new baby!

    i really need some advice. My toddler is 2yrs 3 mths old and we have a 2 week old newborn. The toddler was initally great. Great at hospital visits and when we first came home.

    He had not yet heard the new baby cry.

    The first time the baby cried in front of him he flipped. Crying, clinging to me and saying "what happended to him, what happended to him" over and over. his crying and carrying on is much louder than the baby's!!
    this has continued and he behaves like this whenever the baby so much as makes a whimpering noise. it doesn't seem like jealousy as he is happy for me to bf the baby to get the baby to stop crying. it almost seems like a reflex reaction that he can't control.

    my friend made a visit the other day with her newborn twins and he reacted exactly the same way when either of her 2 cried. He was inconsolable.
    Since then he now behaves like this whenever any kids cry anywhere!! on the train the other day with my the playground with my helper.

    I really don't know what to do. we have explained over and over how babies can't talk so that is his way of asking for milk etc etc. My husband has also tried putting him in timeout each time he does it. nothing really seems to make any difference.

    At the moment i carry the baby around constantly so he never cries as I can't handle the reaction of the toddler but that can't go on forever. especially when it is just me here alone with the 2 of them.

    anyone experienced something similar or have any ideas? its making life really tough at the moment.

  2. #2
    Buckeroo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Hong Kong

    My son was also 2yrs 3 months when his sister was born. We haven't experienced the same thing, but here are some suggestions:

    - During 'mummy and me' time with him, when he feels secure in your love and attention, try talking to him and asking "how come" (instead of "why" --"how come" comes across as less threatening) he gets upset when the baby cries. Maybe you'll get lucky and he might just give you a clue. Don't push him on this, though. Let him know you're ready to listen without judging. If he won't or can't tell you, just give him a hug and tell him it's okay. He is, after all, adjusting to a big change, with the new baby and all.

    - Acknowledge that it's upsetting for him to hear babies cry, but suggest that perhaps he can help you help the baby feel better (humming a tune, gently stroking baby, etc.). This might make him feel more "in control" and make him focus more on helping the baby feel better, instead of on what's making him feel upset.

    Sorry, wish I can be more of help. I hope he'll get over this soon. Do be patient with him. I know it's easier said than done, esp. when you have a newborn to tend to as well. Good luck.

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