advices on newborn and a toddler

[eshiro]

We are expecting our 2nd baby in mid-August.. while my elder son will be 20-month old by that time. I was wondering if there is any books or advices that I can get prepared on how to handle a newborn and a toddler.

furthermore, my maid will be taking care of them when I resume to work after my maternity leave. any advices on how I should prepare her psychologically and physcially?

Thanks

[steamball]

Haha, eshiro, surprise to see you here wo

[fhurley]

Hi, not sure of any books but there are some good websites online such as www.babycentre.com which have loads of articles about this sort of thing.
I think the main thing I read is it is important to prepare your toddler for the new arrival that way he won't be jealous. There are many things you can do to ease the transition for your oldest son. These are things like including him in the preparations by letting him choose a toy or blanket to welcome his new sibling. I think it is also important to make sure when they meet for the first time the new baby is not in your arms and you cuddle your toddler instead. That way he will know he is still special to you. You could also buy him a small present and say it is from his younger brother or sister.
In terms of you managing what is that you are worried about ? There is a great book called The Contented Little Baby book which myself and many of my firends swear by. It may be a little too regimented but you can adapt the ideas to your own needs. I found it fantastic for establishing routines with the new baby to make sure the house ran smoothly and there was time for everything that needs to be done.
You can also prepare you helper by sending her on a training course and sharing your books with her so she knows exactly what you expect from her and where she can support you. Annerley midwives run first aid and baby care courses for helpers and Ladybird lessons run child development and child care courses.
I hope this helps.

[AndreaY]

Ours are 19 months apart and I found it useful to involve my daughter during the pregnancy. We tell her that her baby sister is growing inside mummy and let her **** tummy good morning and good night and baby will be there soon to play with her. Maybe her temperament, but she took to her sis straight from the start, always wanting to cuddle and **** her. Also, if possible, have grandma, dad etc., pay more attention to your toddler whilst you are in hospital, so he will not feel left out with all the excitement. We had our daughter at the hospital to see her baby sis from day 1, everyday whilst I was at hospital too.

[Sleuth]

We did what AndreaY did and no problems. More of a chance of the toddler killing the newborn with attention and hugs than out of jealousy. He was two years and two weeks old when the new baby arrived. Both are boys.

[MilkMonster]

i have 2 boys too (16mths apart) so far there has been no jealousy. like sleuth said just too much attention when the little one is sleeping and big brother wants him up. we make sure we dont compare the two and ask relatives to do the same. i usually try to take care of the older one's needs first. i.e. make sure he's got his own snack before i feed the little one, diaper changed, etc.

[bekyboo44]

Our son was 21 months when his sister was born two weeks ago and so far, so good.

He was a bit unsettled with me being in hospital so he came to visit me everyday (I missed him so much!) and I made sure that Grandma (who lives here) and Daddy spent as much time with him as possible. Fortunetly my husband had a weeks paternity leave from his company and it made a huge difference in settling my son in and it meant he got to spend a lot of time with Daddy.

So far our son has shown nothing but love and interest in his little sister- he wants to hold and **** her all the time, and he finds it absolutely hilarious when she gets the hiccups, and then tries to give himself the hiccups too! When she cries he tells her to 'stop crying,' and pats her tummy!

Fortunetly she's a very good baby, and still in the eating and sleeping stage which means am still able to spend a lot of time with my son- and when our newborn is awake I put her in the chair or play mat next to us so I can continue playing with my son.

I try to involve him as much as possible with his sister- and he's happy to go get her 'small nappy,' when it needs changing and things like that. He likes to help.

At the same time I'm trying to make sure he gets as much attention as usual....!