My 17th month old is behaving odd- Need help

[RiRa]

Hi,

I am back to the forum, asking for ideas and help if someone has gone thru a similar situation.

I have a 17 month old daughter and she has been behaving very unreasonable in the last 2 weeks. I am a working mom and we leave her with a maid at home. Initally there were grandparents, but now it's only maid and her. She is comfortable with the maid, and I do not see any issues around that area. The concerns I have :
- She is crying and irritated most of the times.
- She would hit me or my husband, showing anger or disagreement. We never make her do things that she doesnot like, but inspite of that , getting wacked by your own daughter...hurts !!. I feel, she is trying to tell me something with this emotion, but I am just not able to make it out.
-Food habbit- she was a peacful eater and used to not mess with her food. But now its throwing it all over??

What is all this? She was really a cute little girl, who would not go doing crazy things. But suddenly , she is behaving and doing thigns which are nerve recking and draining me out.

Has anyone faced this?. Any adivises on dealing with this? Is this is a growth spurt moment?.

Awaiting reponses .

RiRa.

[sherwes]

Do you have any reason to suspect that she is sick? How is her sleep?

[pixelelf]

yea, i will check if she is ill, like an ear infection or coming down with a cold. if she is fine and well then it maybe just she's discovering her ability to exercise her rights or seek attention from you and your husband.

my son used to do all of that around that age. just to get attention. on top of consistently telling him no you may not hit/bite/push any persons.

we try to spend more time doing things with him. he is very active and with all that energy bursting, i try to bring him out everyday just to run/climb or play freely for 45mins. on top of all the errands we make together.

this helps to exhaust him as well as build up his appetite. when he throws food around, we tell him if he continues, there will be no more food. and because he is already hungry, chances are he will listen and eat up. if he continues to throw food around, he is removed from the table and sent off to calm down.

when my husband comes home at night, he tries to do 1 hour alone time with him. it could be simply singing karaoke/ taking a walk downstairs/ reading stories together. when im done with the dishes, i will take over, have a quiet time with him, talk about the day and then sleep.

this has helped us reduced alot of tantrums and unhappiness. hope that helps.

[monte]

There are some really old child development books by the Gesell Institute that talk about periods of equilibrium and periods of disequilibrium that all kids go through. The first stage of disequilibrium happens to be ... around 18 months! So I think this is part of the stage and that she will grow into a new stage in a few months. THe same happened with our son, we found his behavior at 18 months much more challenging than now, at 2 years old.
Just because it's a stage doesn't mean there's nothing you can do, of course ... the things that helped us were having a lot of consistency in the routine, remembering that this is a time that we parents really are teaching correct behavior and boundaries, so being willing to say things over and over if necessary, without expecting them to remember it. We gave our son plenty of opportunities to be independent--to help in small ways, to eat with his own utensils, etc. And as was said above, getting plenty of outdoor time and exercise is helpful for everybody! Other than that--hang in there. things will get better ...

[lesliefu]

my 18 mth old is behaving REAL odd too! I was just going to write something then saw this posting...she used to be a real good sleep - 9:30 to 7:30 daily + 2 naps, now, she won't sleep till past 11pm (even with only a 1 hour nap during the day) and her eating habits are changing too! She's eating, but definitely has her preferences....but I seroiusly can't give her bananas and cereal for every meal! I am looking forward to the end of this "stage"...a "few months"...oh my, oh my...she sleeps a good 10 hours still, but it's all at the wrong times! Should I continue letting her cry it out (have tried a few days and it hasn't worked yet)....I think I could take her out to exhaust her! my oh my, am I getting SO tired!

[RiRa]

Dear Monte,

Thankyou for sharing your inputs. You directed me to the right thing. I am going thru the Gesell website and getting some good understanding on the situation I am in.
About your comment on outdoor activities, we completely engage with her the moment we are back from work. Take her out,do her routine thigns, make her see some new things and keep interacting with her.

[RiRa]

Dear Pixelelf.

Thank you for your views. I am on it ,and completely following her routine, exercise, entertainment...you name it and we are there :P. That was one of the reason for me to think, if all's well and there are so much of interaction, but still that behaviour --surprised me.
I think one tip that you gave---"no more food" :), if you throw food.

[monte]

I'm glad the Gesell info is helpful. It was good for me just to understand a bit more what was going on. Best of luck to you--it will get better! I think for us the hard days lasted about a month. I remember my facebook status for days was something like "finding toddlerhood to be so much more exhausting than newborn days!" And right now things are good, but I know we'll swing back into disequilibrium again ...